Why Indian cricketers aren’t really poor travellers…

plane-841441_960_720England, South Africa and New Zealand have never won any ODI ICC tournament anywhere. Forget a Test series—Sri Lanka has never even won a single Test in India. Pakistan won their first Test series in West Indies quite late in 2017 as against India way back in 1971.

The truth is that when you combine all three formats of the game, then only Australia and India are the best travellers. Only these two teams have won maximum multi-nation tournaments in maximum countries. It’s a myth that Indians are poor travellers in international cricket overall.

We have won in…

united-kingdom-1043062_1280England.
1 ODI World Cup—1983.
1 ICC Champions Trophy—2013.
3 Test series—1971, 1986, 2007.
1 ODI Tri-series—2002.
3 ODI series—1986, 1990, 2014
1 T20 series—2018.
Total = 10.

sydney-3680862_960_720Australia.
1 Mini World Cup—Benson & Hedges World Series 1985.
1 ODI Tri-series—2008.
1 T20 series—2016, Australia’s only Test whitewash in any format on home soil ever since 1877.
Total = 3.

South Africa.
1 T20 World Cup—2007.
1 ODI series—2018.
1 T20 series—2018.
Total = 3.

Lanka-2099225_1280Sri Lanka.
1 ICC Champions Trophy—2002.
1 Asia Cup—2010.
3 Test series—1993, 2015, 2017.
3 ODI Tri-series—1998, 2009, 2018.
4 ODI series—2008, 2009, 2012, 2017.
Total = 12.

West Indies.
4 Test series—1971, 2006, 2011, 2016.
1 ODI Tri-series—2013.
4 ODI series—2002, 2009, 2011, 2017.
Total = 9.

pakistan-641446_960_720Pakistan.
1 Test series—2004.
2 ODI series—2004, 2006.
Total = 3.

New Zealand.
2 Test series—1968, 2009.
1 ODI series—2009.
Total = 3.

dubai-1113262_960_720UAE.
7 multi-nation tournaments—1984, 1985, 1988, 1995, 1998, 1998, 2018.

Bangladesh.
2 Asia Cups—1988, 2016.
4 Test series—2000, 2004, 2007, 2010.
1 ODI Tri-series—1998.
3 ODI series—2004, 2007, 2014.
Total = 10.

Canada.
2 ODI series—1997 (Pak), 1999 (WI).

clover-445255_960_720Ireland.
1 ODI series—2007 (SA).
1 T20 series—2018 (Ire).
Total = 2.

Zimbabwe.
1 Test series—2005
4 ODI series—1998, 2013, 2015, 2016.
2 T20 series—2010, 2016.
Total = 6.

Grand Total = 70, that includes 5 World Cups/mini WCs, second only to Australia’s 6 away such wins.

India has won at least one 5-nation plus tournament in Australia, South Africa, England, Sri Lanka, UAE, Bangladesh and India.

MS Dhoni musings…

Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost!
—Bollywood ka Baadshah.
Last over abhi baaki hai mere dost!
—Cricket ka Baadshah.
‪#‎LastBallDhoni‬

March schedule…
19th: Bura na maano, Kohli hain.
23rd: Bura na maano, Dhoni hain.
24th: Bura na maano, Holi hain.
‪#‎2016T20WC‬ ‪#‎HappyHoli‬

Dhoni: Aaj kuch toofani karte hai!
Kohli: Last ball Victory 6?
Dhoni: Yaar woh bahut kar chuka hu.
How about last ball Victory Run Out?

The film “M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story” should actually be called “Jo Jeeta Wohi Mahendra”.

Andheri raat ke baad teen din ki chandni…
Overs 1-19.3: Pathetic fielding.
19.4: Good catch.
19.5: Great catch.
19.6: Brilliant run out.
‪#‎IndVsBan‬

Before India used to panic.
Now Dhoni induces panic in the opposition.
‪#‎IndVsBan‬

Hardik Patel ko mila jail.
Hardik Pandya ne diya Team India ko bail.
‪#‎IndVsBan‬ ‪#‎2016T20WC‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Feroz Shah Kotla Test musings…

Ultimate irony.
Feroz Shah Kotla stands named Viru 309 & 319 after his blitzes.
AB de Villiers and Hashim Amla pay their respects by scoring super slow 43 off 297 and 25 off 244 in first match after that.

AB de Villiers is the only batsman in the world who can hit both 100 off 30 balls and 30 off 100 balls.
‪#‎IndVsSA‬ ‪#‎FerozShahKotla‬

First Extremist Shastri…
Fast: 200 off 123 balls in a First Class innings.
Slow: 10 off 63 balls in an ODI innings.
Second Extremist ABD…
Fast: 149 off 44 in an ODI innings.
Slow: 43 off 228 in a Test innings.

Green pitch: Bad!
Spinning pitch: Bad!
Dead pitch: Bad!
Great pitch: That which produces result in last over of Day 5.
(Meaning rocket scientists will now have to design Test pitch)

The Test conundrum…
Amla and ABD played brilliant cricket.
It was also a brilliant cure for insomnia.

#‎RohitTalentSharma‬
ODIs: Debuted in 2007, scored 200 in 2013.
Tests: Debuted in 2013, will score 400 in 2019.
Keep the faith!

Unke dus aadmi hamare ek ke barabar hai!
Rahane: Challenge accepted!—127.
South Africa—121.

(Ref: Fourth India-South Africa Test)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

India-South Africa Nagpur Test musings…

The level of intolerance against South African batsmen shown by Indian spinners has reached new depths.

South Africa requires 310 runs in 1704 balls (284 overs) and they’re still not the favourites!
Welcome to Test cricket!

Strange team South Africa.
Hasn’t lost a Test series abroad in 9 years.
Hasn’t won a Test series at home against Australia in 45 years!

Even though it’s the Third Test, today is the 5th day of the India-South Africa Test series.

Nagpur opens with a 5th day 3rd session pitch on the 1st day 1st session!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Height of Optimism for India’s ODI performance…

In April 1983, India was 166 all down and in a few months it won the World Cup.

In July 2002, India was 165 all down and in a few months it won the ICC Champions Trophy.

In January 2011, India was 154 all down and in a few months it won the World Cup.

In January 2013, India was 167 all down and in a few months it won the ICC Champions Trophy.

In January 2015, India was 153 all down and in a few months it…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Columns on MS Dhoni

Hero Dhoni becomes Villain No. 1 (like many before him!)
January 21, 2016, Sify.com

Stoic Dhoni: A true victim of intolerance
January 10, 2016, Sify.com

2015: Annus horribilis for Dhoni
December 16, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni: Rest as captain to prolong batting career!
July 7, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni still best bet against Aussies…
March 30, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni and the great team bubble
March 27, 2015, Sify.com

Has Dhoni’s golden era ended?
March 27, 2015, Sify.com

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015, Sify.com

Seven Things That Set Dhoni Apart
January 4, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni’s Test captaincy in numbers
January 1, 2015, Sify.com

Dhoni symbolizes this era perfectly
December 31, 2014, Sify.com

MS Dhoni – A man who didn’t play for landmarks
December 30, 2014, Sify.com

Is it the end of the Dhoni era?
November 19, 2014, Sify.com

Why the BCCI won’t sack Dhoni!
August 20, 2014, Sify.com

3 Test myths about MS Dhoni…
July 22, 2014, Sify.com

Dhoni: A strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
01 February, 2014, Sify.com

7 reasons why Dhoni is a great leader
12 July, 2013, Sify.com

Is Dhoni our greatest player ever?
24 June, 2013, Sify.com

Dhoni: A strange but successful captain
18 June, 2013, Sify.com

Dhoni begins his second innings in style
19 March, 2012, Sify.com

Dhoni takes India out of the ICU
27 February, 2012, Sify.com

“Last minute” Dhoni strikes again!
20 May, 2012, Sify.com

The Mad Max Trinity
29 March, 2012, Sify.com

Is Dhoni the world’s greatest finisher?
27 October, 2011, Sify.com

10 change-makers: From Pataudi to Dhoni
26 September, 2011, Sify.com

The Revival Man of Indian cricket
16 September, 2011, Sify.com

Cometh the hour, cometh the man
14 May, 2011, Sify.com

The Myth of the Lucky Captain
Sify.com, 21 October, 2010

Oval massacre musings…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

In 2011, the English coach showed his cricket team Lagaan.
He is still getting his ROI over that masterstroke to this very day.

2011: 0-4.
Ab tumhe teeguna lagaan dena padega.
2012: 1-2.
Ab tumhe paanch guna lagaan dena padega.
2014: 1-3.
Ab… abbe tumne hame bankrupt kar diya teen-teen din main match khatam kar ke. Kam ticket sales aur ads se barbaad ho gaye hum! Ab dus guna lagaan dene ka bhi koi faayada nahin hai!

The next angry birds game will feature Indian batsmen as the targets and become popular among cricket fans.

Critic: What kind of a game is Test cricket? You don’t get a result in 5 days?
Indian fan: Oh, we are masters. We can get a result in 3 days flat.

The Indian batsmen’s favourite nursery rhyme is…
Ring a Ring o’ Roses.
They especially love the part…
Atishoo, atishoo, we all fall down!

Team India seniors get Rs 5 lakh per Test, or Rs 1 lakh a day.
By losing in 3 days, they’re getting Rs 1.67 lakh a day.
Boora khelo, jyaada paisa kamao!!!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Total time pass of a vella Indian cricket fan…

How the Indian cricket team celebrated Independence Day…

The 11 batsmen scored the following amount of runs…
18-0-4-6-0-82-5-13-5-1-7.

If you rearrange the above numbers, then you get…
15-08-2014. 68. 1,3,5,7…..

15-08-2014 stands for 15th August 2014, the Independence Day on which they scored these runs.

68 stands for India’s 68th Independence Day.

The progressive sequence 1,3,5,7… stands for the resolve on this day to keep doing better from now on.

Ref: Fifth India-England Test at the Kensington Oval.
#IndVsEng #Oval

© Sunil Rajguru

Day 1 musings from Oval Test…

(Ref: Fifth India-England Test.)

India’s last 3 Test innings, runs scored by…
All batsmen = 117.
All bowlers = 141.
Dhoni = 180.

Team India is the new brand ambassador for Rupa.
With so many rest days after early Test results they’ll say…
Ye aaraam ka maamla hai!

Indian Test batsmen looking at the red cricket ball and singing…
Ye laal rang kab mujhe chhodega…

Dhoni’s autobiography will be…
Last Man Standing.
First in ODIs, now in Tests too.

Tests then…
Aaj Sachin century maarega kya?
Now…
Aaj India century maarega kya?

August 15, 1947: Indians get Independence from the English.
August 15, 2014: Indian batsmen get quick Independence from English bowlers.

Finish the Tests in 3 days, destroy the ECB economy and relax for 2 days.
Smart strategy!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Perth thrashing musings…

∙ Yesterday’s Victory: Just another brick in The Wall.
Today’s Defeat: Just another hole in The Wall.

∙ Yesterday’s Statement: Indian cricket is dead.
Today’s Question: Is there life after death?

∙ The demand for two-tier Test cricket has been around for ages and it’s finally time to implement it in the interest of saving Tests.
Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and India will be in one Tier and all the rest in the other.

∙ Since Sachin wasn’t scoring a century, the Indian team decided to do it for him. They did pretty well actually and the other 10 players together scored 141 runs.

∙ Indian Test Cricket has just become a fictional character like Santa Claus, Superman and the Mahashatak.

∙ The biggest positive of the first day of the Test match at Perth was that play finally ended.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Third India-Australia Test at Perth, January 13, 2012

In advance “Perth anarth” musings…

Paint Sponsors
In a bid to increase its ad revenues, the BCCI is planning to get whitewash paint companies to sponsor the Indian Test team from now on.

The Lone Resistance Award

…for the entire Australian tour goes to Virat Kohli’s Middle Finger.

ITPL anyone?
It’s time to rename it ITPL (International Test Premier League), get in coloured clothes, cheerleaders and the white ball.
That’s our only hope of regaining the No. 1 ranking in Tests now.

Mahashatak misses…
The ABCD of Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th 100 misses: Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi.
Now let’s hope LMNOP doesn’t happen…
Lord’s, Melbourne, Nottingham, Oval and Perth.

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: Third India-Australia Test at Perth, January 13, 2012

Melbourne Test debacle musings…

Q: Nowadays, why are Indian batsmen extremely bad students?
A: Because they keep failing miserably in Tests.

∙ From now on the Ashes will be re-branded.
Whenever England and Australia host India at home, the series will be dubbed as the Indian Ashes.

Overheard…

Indian cricket fan: Oh God! Why do I have to keep suffering this humiliation Test after Test?
God: Didn’t I answer a billion prayers in 2011? Now don’t disturb me till 2015!

English bowler: We had an awesome bowling session of Indian Ten Pins last season.
Aussie bowler: Our season has just begun!

© Sunil Rajguru

Reference: 2011 Boxing Day India-Australia Test at Melbourne