The BCCI has just completed its enquiry into the washout of the Indian team in England. Here are the results…
1st Test: Players just reached England. They had difficulty in adjusting to the conditions, pitches and climate.
Observations: Organize many more tours per year, so players will get over their “first match blues”.
2nd Test: India hadn’t choked for absolutely no rhyme and reason in a Test in ages. Law of averages finally caught up with them.
Observations: There’s nothing we can do about that.
3rd Test: Race riots happened in England at the time of the Test. The poor players were very scared. Smoke could be seen behind the stadium during the toss.
Observations: We couldn’t cancel the match as we needed the money and got it. No complaints there.
4th Test: Last match in the series. Players extremely tired and demoralized.
Observations: Organize 3-Test series in the future. As it is ODIs make more money. One lost Test = 3 more ODIs.
T20 International: Players played a whopping three practice matches the previous week, therefore they were extremely tired.
Observations: Stop listening to experts and stop organizing so many practice matches. As it is they don’t make much money.
Complete ODI Series: Rain, weather, damp pitches, Mr Duckworth and Mr Lewis dominated and there’s nothing anyone can do about that. This series can be totally forgotten, especially as we didn’t lose much money.
We were also told that captain MS Dhoni was fatigued and tired and should be rested, then how did he emerge as the leading run scorer and man of the series? The BCCI should stop listening to so-called experts.
Final Observations: Arre bhaiyya aal izz well!
Note: The ECB is seeking the BCCI’s expertise to explain its 0-3 ODI thrashing and making a similar report.
This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru