Chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo…

Nowadays everyone in India wants to slap or thrash someone and throw slippers and shoes at prominent people.

Here’s a theme song for the new violent India.

Please sing to the tune of the Bollywood song Pyaar baant te chalo

Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo,
Kya politician kya social activist, humri sab se hai ladai,
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo.

Nafrat hai nayi Bharat ki kahani,
Ye buzurgon ka kehna kyun sune yaaron,
Ek hi chaanta ke kaabil hain sab,
Humko peet paat ke rehana hai yaaron,

Hai socho kal kya the, dekho ab kya ho,
Sabko le doobayenge… hai apni ye ladai,
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo.
(La la la la la la la la la la la la la la…)

Sharad ye hai to Chiddu tum ho,
Ye hai Kejriwal to Kalmadi tum ho,
Naam kuch ho magar ye na bhoolo,
Sabse gussa ek jaisa ho.
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo.

Ye Mumbai hai woh Delhi dekho,
Har jagah nafrat ki hai kahani,
Nafrat sadiyon se ab tak amar hai,
Aur har cheez hai aani jaani
Ho chaanta maarte chalo, joota phekte chalo,
Hey chaanta maarte chalo, chappal phekte chalo…

(Original song: Pyaar baant te chalo.
Film: Hum Sab Ustad Hain.
Year: 1965.)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

News in Limericks 6

There was this fearless journalist in Iraq,
Who hurled a shoe at a US Presidential chap,
It inspired attacks on Jindal, Chiddu and Yeddy,
Then on Advani, Omar, Kalmadi and Dwivedi,
And now shoeing has morphed into one tight slap!

There were these people Waiting for the God,
To complete the most divinest cricketing plot,
Then it went amiss and came many a miss,
Heartbreakingly in the 90s a bowler did dismiss,
And now it looks like we’re Waiting for Godot!

There was this terrorist called Kasab,
Who in Indian jails had many a kebab,
The demands never stopped,
And endless days got docked,
Aur ab us par paise kharch karne ka na koi hisaab!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Gandhi bole ahimsa par Anna bole hinsa…

Chiddu-PM ko joota aur Prashant Bhushan ko koota…

Sibal ko kaala jhanda aur Baba Ramdev ko danda…

Rahul-virodhiyo ko laat aur anek virodh ne lagayi waat…

Pawar-Sukhram ko slaps aur UPA ko non-stop raps…

BSY-Kejriwal ko chappal aur Jindal-Advani ko bhi chappal…

Neta log sab hain jhoota aur mil kar desh ko loota …

Gaya tel lene ahimsa, ab bharat main hinsa chalega hinsa…

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 7

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cook.
Cook who?
That’s right. Cuckoos all of you have become on Indian soil, after being lions at home.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Shoe.
Shoe who?
Sorry Shoe shoe… shoo shoo go away. No shoeing allowed. I ain’t no Bush!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Marx.
Marx who?
Mark my words I said, didn’t I, that no good would come from this type of capitalism!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Recession.
Recession who?
Yeah, that’s right, keep pretending you don’t know me and brushing me under the carpet and I’ll keep getting bigger and bigger and eventually depress you big time.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Shahrukh.
Shahrukh who?
Yeah I knew you’d forgotten me. Haven’t had a blockbuster for 3 years, but now I’m going to blitz you so much that you’ll get totally sick of me. Me Jeevan. All other superstars Ravans.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru