Some slogans to live and die by…

The Bible: Live and Let Live.

James Bond: Live and Let Die.

Suicide Bomber: Die and Let Die.

India’s Terrorist Policy: Die and Let Live.

∙ New brand ambassador for Maharashtra Tourism: Kasab.
Catchline: Come visit us, you’ll love this place so much that we’ll never let you leave!
(No spelling mistake. It can’t be “we’ll never let you live” as death is reserved only for common citizens and not hardened terrorists.)

P.S. Delhi could say the same for the Kashmiri who visted them: Afzal Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

News in Limericks 6

There was this fearless journalist in Iraq,
Who hurled a shoe at a US Presidential chap,
It inspired attacks on Jindal, Chiddu and Yeddy,
Then on Advani, Omar, Kalmadi and Dwivedi,
And now shoeing has morphed into one tight slap!

There were these people Waiting for the God,
To complete the most divinest cricketing plot,
Then it went amiss and came many a miss,
Heartbreakingly in the 90s a bowler did dismiss,
And now it looks like we’re Waiting for Godot!

There was this terrorist called Kasab,
Who in Indian jails had many a kebab,
The demands never stopped,
And endless days got docked,
Aur ab us par paise kharch karne ka na koi hisaab!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 13

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
PC.
PC who?
PC you see in Parliament, but PC we no see, says the Opposition and decision making goes out of the window. Chee chee!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Dawood.
Dawood who?
They would still deny the existence of all dons, terrorists and accused hiding in their country.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Rahul.
Rahul who?
Dravid, if you want to save a Test match and Gandhi if you want to save the Congress.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kasab.
Kasab who?
Kasab ka hisaab aaya hain, Rs 16 crore spent in 3 years!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru