Kejri ko #Demonetization pe itna gussa kyun aa raha hai?

2011: Anti-corruption march.
2016: Anti anti-corruption march

2011 August Kranti: Anti-corruption.
2016 November Bahut Krantikari: Anti Anti-corruption.

2011: Promises all measures to fight against all corruption.
2016: Fights against all anti-corruption measures.

2011: I will end the corruption of UPA.
2016: I will end the anti-corruption of NDA.

Who would’ve thought?
The party born out of the anti-corruption movement is now marching against anti-corruption!

Mamata rules like a dictator.
Calls #Demonetisation Draconian.
Kejri claims to be against corruption.
Calls an anti-corruption move corrupt.

Does dharna-anarchy.
He won a Magsaysay?
Talks nonsense 24X7.
He’s an IITian?
Talks nonsense on #Demonetization.
He’s ex-IRS?

After running out of his current nonsense, Kejri will be alleging aliens, UFOs, Illuminati, Area 51, the Apocalypse… in the 2019 elections.

If Kejri was Sports Editor of a newspaper…
Sports Page would carry business, foreign, national, films, horoscope…
Anything but sports!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

So #Demonetization has hit them really really hard

Mr India, 2016.
Mogambo enters India, vows destruction.
#Demonetization happens.
Mogambo’s black money wiped out, flees India.
The End.

TV news.
20% coverage = All the benefits, pitfalls and long-term implications of #Demonetization.
80% coverage = Long queues.

Modi will lose 2002.
Modi will lose 2007.
Modi will lose 2014.
Modi will lose 2019 due to #Demonetization.

Modi doesn’t believe in ATM but ATDM.
ATDM = Any Time De-Monetization!

#BewafaSonamGupta nahin, par woh black note tha jispe us ka naam likha tha.
#BewafaSonamGupta ek thi, par bewafa black note lakhon main hai.

Baad main na kahana kucch bhi,
Pahale hi de doon warning,
Party chalegi till all the corrupt are in mourning,
Abhi to party shuru hui hai!

If America did #Demonetization of the $100 bill, forget America, the whole world would descend into chaos.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some Anna Hazarical definitions…

Annagiri: While largely seen as a peaceful and potent war on corruption by most, the Congress Dictionary defines it as a vile unconstitutional, undemocratic and heinous crime. The only reason no action can be taken is that the party does not have enough seats in Parliament to impose an Emergency.

Phenomannan: The inexplicable catharsis of a nation and outpouring of anti-corruption sentiments on a scale unheard of before.

Sibalism: A political system dealing with how to defeat your opponent with press conferences, lies, rhetoric, logic, bluster and brute force topped with loads of anger. Basically a defeatist concept.

Tiwarism: A more potent form Sibalism.

The Manmohanomical Theory: Basically states that Harry Potter is a fictional character. A magic wand is a fictional object. Therefore corruption cannot be eradicated in one’s lifetime. (Come to think of it, even Harry Potter didn’t have a powerful anti-corruption spell, or was it Avada KorruptaNada?)

The Opposition: Basically like Harry Potter was a fictional character in 2011 till Anna Hazare stepped in to fill the vacuum.

Soniagiri: Absence makes the heart go fonder for the common Congress voter.

Rahulgiri: A milder version of Soniagiri.

Hazarian Simplicity: A more stronger form of Gandhian simplicity. For the Mahatama had a family and Anna doesn’t. The Mahatma had a sprawling ashram and Anna sleeps in a temple.

Attack of the Clones: Thousands of agitators wearing “Main bhi Anna” topis, enough to give any evil empire sleepless nights.

War on Corruption: Launched in India in 2011. Has been likened to George Bush’s War on Terrorism: If you are not with us, then you are against us.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru