#2014in5words

For the 2014 Lok Sabha polls…
& for the BJP…
& for TV news channels…
& for Indian politics in general…
Modi Modi Modi Modi Modi.

For Congress…
Sonia is really really unhappy.

For India…
Acche Din Aane Waale Hai.

For Pappu…
Dude, who moved my votebank?

For Subrata Roy…
Rupees Ten Thousand Crore only.

For badminton India…
Srikanth and Sania in China.

For Robert Vadra…
Are you serious or nuts?

For Modi haters before May 16…
There is no Modi wave.

For Modi haters after May 16…
Idea of India is dead.

For terror…
ISIL ISIS IS TTP Peshawar.

For Manmohan Singh…
… … … … …

For Mamata Banerjee…
Saradha Burdwan Maoist Hitler Didi.

For Indian cricket fans…
No foreign Tests only ODIs.

For Jayalalitha…
You are hereby pronounced guilty.

For BCCI…
Is Srinivasan coming or going?

For Kejriwal…
Hame ek aur mauka deejiye.

For ISRO…
Mangalyaan NISAR GSAT CE-7.5 IRNSS.

In the hockey Champions Trophy semi-final…
@#$    %^&    #^%    *(&   %@*

In IPL…
I am just an enthusiast.

For Viswanathan Anand…
Kasparov, Karpov and now Carlsen.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 4 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

For Steve Waugh, India was the final frontier.
For India, every country is the final frontier.

No matter what day of the Test, when India begins its second innings, it is always just one session away from defeat.

Bharat ko videshi Test jeetna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai…

If Winnie the Pooh led the Australian Test team, they’d still thrash us 4-0.

What Shikhar Dhawan may have wanted to say after his 81 at Brisbane…
I was inspired by the great Australia batsmen during their batting in the first innings.
I kept counting the milestones one by one.
First I went past Lyon (23) then Hazlewood (32) and finally Starc (52).
My only regret is that I couldn’t go past the great Mitchell Johnson’s 88.
All these great batsmen can give a few tips to our top order batsmen.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 3 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

Overseas Tests…
Play pathetically: Lose.
Play badly: Lose.
Play well: Lose.
Play really well: Lose.
Play awesomely: Draw.
Once in four years: Win.

The Indian attack is great at getting batsmen out.
It just can’t dismiss the bowlers.

After Kapil Dev, India has produced 25 fast bowlers faster than him, but not even one who remotely matches his fighting spirit.

Lightning strikes once.
Rare if it strikes twice.
If it strikes 10 times, then you’re the Indian bowling attack hit by the tail.

True Test parity…
At home we watch Indian batsmen doing The Great Escape.
Overseas, we watch the opposition batsmen doing The Great Escape.

India should stop importing foreign coaches and start importing foreign bowlers.
That’s the only way to save foreign Tests.

On foreign Test pitches, some tails last more sessions than Indian batsmen last balls.

If the Indian bowling attack took 19 wickets in 3 days on a foreign Test pitch, then you can be sure that the 20th would elude them for the next two days.

We won one foreign Test in 2011.
After that in 2014.
So the next is coming in 2017.

This is MS Dhoni’s 59th match as Test captain and Steven Smith’s first.
Frankly, it looks like the other way round.

On foreign Test pitches, the opposition’s last pair is better than India’s opening pair.

Overseas Test rules…
If India is 300-5, they can be 325 all down.
If the opposition is 300-5, they can go to 600.

In an overseas Test if India scores 450 and the opposition is 200-5, the Indian fan asks…
Can we somehow have a miracle and draw this match?

India’s DRS = Decisions Really Suck.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The conundrum that is Pakistan…

Pakistan hates America, but loves to take huge military and financial aid from it.

Pakistan hates terrorists, but loves to give them all forms of support.

Pakistan loves the Army, but hates to accept the fact that it has ruined democracy in Pakistan.

Pakistan loves fundamentalists, but hates to acknowledge the destruction they have unleashed.

Pakistan hates India, but loves blaming it for all its ills.

Pakistan loves Kashmir, so much so that it seems to hate all its other provinces.

© Sunil Rajguru

Adelaide Test musings…

Ref: First India-Australia Test at Adelaide.

Aus series he kya?
Nahi, Aasu series hai.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

Kohli, Viru ya ho Dhoni,
Fast bowling, spin ya kuch bhi anhoni,
Foreign pitches pe bas wohi hi honi.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

2011: Can’t play fast bowlers on foreign pitches.
‪#‎Eng‬ ‪#‎Aus‬
2012: Can’t play spinners on home pitches.
#Eng
2014: Can’t play spinners on foreign pitches.
#Eng #Aus

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

My Virat Kohli Columns

cricket-players-2027502_640Kohli attacks, Ishant roars and India wins!
September 1, 2015, Sify.com

Kohli’s aggro mojo backfires
August 16, 2015, Sify.com

The Dhoni-Kohli show finally ends
March 26, 2015, Sify.com

Kohli: King of adversity
December 13, 2014, Sify.com

Why Kohli may one day be the greatest ever
April 7, 2014, Sify.com

World is not enough for Kohli
03 November, 2013, Sify.com

Cricketer of the year: Virat Kohli
24 December, 2012, Sify.com

King Kohli now rules all 3 realms
05 October, 2012, Sify.com

India’s new Fab 4 have to get in fast
29 August, 2012, Sify.com

King Kohli strikes yet again!
19 March, 2012, Sify.com

Virat is the right choice
02 March, 2012, Sify.com

Virat Kohli: The new King of the victory chase
28 February, 2012, Sify.com