When India beat Australia @ Dharamsala…

snow-mountains-662943_640ICC Test Rankings.
No. 1 team: India.
No.1 Bowler: Jadeja.
No. 2 Bowler: Ashwin.
No. 2 batsman: Pujara.
No. 4 batsman: Kohli.
No. 2 All-rounder: Ashwin.
No. 3 All-rounder: Jadeja.
India never had it this good in Tests!

Ardh-Shatak ka Betaaj Badshaah.
#KLRahul #IndVsAus

In terms of arrogance, Ricky Ponting was worse than Steve Waugh and Steve Smith is worse than Ponting.

India required 87 runs off 1080 balls at the end of the third day in this match to win.
T20 enthusiasts in the future will simply not understand Test cricket.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

#IndVsAus #RanchiTest musings…

Pujara: Maine double century maara!
Sehwag: Bhai sahab, 521 balls main to main do do triple century maarta!

Rohit Sharma in ODIs: 264(173).
Cheteshwar Pujara in Tests: 202(525).

Cheteshwar Pujara makes India’s slowest double century in the history of international cricket (521 balls).

Maximum balls faced in an innings…
Wall I Gavaskar: 472.
Wall II Manjrekar: 422.
Wall III Dravid: 495.
Wall IV Pujara: 525.

Cheteshwar Pujara becomes India’s first Quintuple Centurion (in terms of balls faced—500) in the history of international cricket.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Sydney Test musings…

Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.

Australia series captaincy report…
Dhoni: 1 loss, 1 draw, loves Raina, can’t control bowlers.
Kohli: 1 loss, 1 draw, loves Raina, can’t control bowlers.
It’s a tie!!!

Happy days are here again…
1990s: I know India is losing Test upon Test, but I’m enjoying Tendulkar’s century upon century.
2010s: I know India is losing Test upon Test, but I’m enjoying Kohli’s century upon century.

India-Australia series report…
We crossed 400 in every first innings.
We were never bowled out for less than 200 in any second innings.
Three of our batsmen were in the region of 400 runs.
Three of our bowlers took more than 10 wickets.
Bottom line: Still can’t win a single Test!

Starc and Hazlewood together give less runs in an hour than Umesh Yadav gives in a minute.

Australia: 40 overs 251 runs.
India: 40 balls 1 run. (Overs 13.2 to 19.4).

After Indian innings…
Umesh to Raina: I can bat better than you!
After Australian innings:
Raina to Umesh: I can bowl better than you!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sydney Test musings…

Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.

Post 0-8, India’s foreign Test campaign can be called Runs ‘n Ruins.
Runs for the batsmen. Ruins for the bowlers.

If you went to the bathroom when Suresh Raina came in to bat, then you missed his entire Test career post-2012.

New era in Indian Test captaincy.
Dhoni: I have bad bowlers.
Kohli: I have really bad bowlers.

T20s: Raina the Rock.
ODIs: Boom Boom Raina
Tests: Aaya Raina Gaya Raina.

Indian fast bowler careers…
Kapil Dev: 16 years.
Manoj Prabhakar: 12 years.
Zaheer Khan: 12 years.
Javagal Srinath: 11 years.
Nowadays it’s tough to find even one who can survive for 1 continuous year in international cricket.

Why does it feel like…
Weee!!! I made 400 runs in the series, let me get out! (Vijay)
Weee!!! I finally made a 50, let me get out! (Rohit)
Weee!!! I made a maiden century, let me get out! (Rahul)
Weee!!! I’m in the Test team, let me get out! (Raina)
Kohli: FML!
Dhoni: LOL!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Day 1 Sydney Test musings…

Ref: Fourth India-Australia Test at Sydney, January 6, 2015.

Speed of delivery…
Kapil: Fast.
Zaheer: Faster.
Ishant: Fastest.
Speed of getting wickets…
Ishant: Slow.
Rest of Indian pace attack: Slower.
Indian spinners: Slowest.

If the Indian bowlers won’t let you off the hook, the slip fielders will.
If the fielders won’t let you off the hook, Indian batsmen will.

In a timeless Test on foreign soil, the probability of the opposition getting 1000 runs twice is greater than Indian bowlers getting 10 wickets twice.

The ideal Test Playing XI for India on foreign pitches…
6 batsmen, 4 bowlers and 1 mental conditioning coach.

New Year.
New captain.
New team.
New slip fielders.
Day 1: So far exactly the same.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 4 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

For Steve Waugh, India was the final frontier.
For India, every country is the final frontier.

No matter what day of the Test, when India begins its second innings, it is always just one session away from defeat.

Bharat ko videshi Test jeetna mushkil hi nahin, naamumkin hai…

If Winnie the Pooh led the Australian Test team, they’d still thrash us 4-0.

What Shikhar Dhawan may have wanted to say after his 81 at Brisbane…
I was inspired by the great Australia batsmen during their batting in the first innings.
I kept counting the milestones one by one.
First I went past Lyon (23) then Hazlewood (32) and finally Starc (52).
My only regret is that I couldn’t go past the great Mitchell Johnson’s 88.
All these great batsmen can give a few tips to our top order batsmen.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Brisbane Test Day 3 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

Overseas Tests…
Play pathetically: Lose.
Play badly: Lose.
Play well: Lose.
Play really well: Lose.
Play awesomely: Draw.
Once in four years: Win.

The Indian attack is great at getting batsmen out.
It just can’t dismiss the bowlers.

After Kapil Dev, India has produced 25 fast bowlers faster than him, but not even one who remotely matches his fighting spirit.

Lightning strikes once.
Rare if it strikes twice.
If it strikes 10 times, then you’re the Indian bowling attack hit by the tail.

True Test parity…
At home we watch Indian batsmen doing The Great Escape.
Overseas, we watch the opposition batsmen doing The Great Escape.

India should stop importing foreign coaches and start importing foreign bowlers.
That’s the only way to save foreign Tests.

On foreign Test pitches, some tails last more sessions than Indian batsmen last balls.

If the Indian bowling attack took 19 wickets in 3 days on a foreign Test pitch, then you can be sure that the 20th would elude them for the next two days.

We won one foreign Test in 2011.
After that in 2014.
So the next is coming in 2017.

This is MS Dhoni’s 59th match as Test captain and Steven Smith’s first.
Frankly, it looks like the other way round.

On foreign Test pitches, the opposition’s last pair is better than India’s opening pair.

Overseas Test rules…
If India is 300-5, they can be 325 all down.
If the opposition is 300-5, they can go to 600.

In an overseas Test if India scores 450 and the opposition is 200-5, the Indian fan asks…
Can we somehow have a miracle and draw this match?

India’s DRS = Decisions Really Suck.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Adelaide Test musings…

Ref: First India-Australia Test at Adelaide.

Aus series he kya?
Nahi, Aasu series hai.

Kohli, Viru ya ho Dhoni,
Fast bowling, spin ya kuch bhi anhoni,
Foreign pitches pe bas wohi hi honi.

2011: Can’t play fast bowlers on foreign pitches.
‪#‎Eng‬ ‪#‎Aus‬
2012: Can’t play spinners on home pitches.
2014: Can’t play spinners on foreign pitches.
#Eng #Aus

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When India crossed 300 in ODIs yet again…

The wickets on both ends of Indian ODI pitches should be replaced by tombstones to signify bowlers’ graveyards.

#IndVsAus series report…
Runs, rains, (bowling) ruins, (India) reigns and (Aussie) remains.

Always “Ro”hit Sharma.
Pahale batting karta tha to Indian fans “ro”te the.
Ab opposition bowlers “ro”te hain.

Phata Ishant Sharma ka poster nikla Vinay Kumar Zero.

The RSS hand…
Rohit “Sixer” Sharma.

Today a Black Kite surveyed Chinnaswamy Stadium thinking, “What is this place where white spheres keep flying out all the time!”

For years, MS Dhoni got hammered for persisting with Rohit Sharma and Ravindra Jadeja.
As usual Captain Cool has the last laugh!

Sharma No. 1: Wassup?
Sharma No. 2: Unhone mujhe dho daala!
Sharma No. 1: Don’t worry, chun chun ke badla loonga!
(Key: No. 1 = Rohit. No. 2 = Ishant.)

Do Sau-Sau-Sau!

In Bangalore today it will be raining rockets, fireworks, 4s and 6s.
Unless of course there is actual rain.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When India chased 350+ with Australia, again!

Aussie jugalbandi…
Batsmen: Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai!
Bowlers: Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai!

PJ of the day…
Hamne ek virat score khada kiya hai: Aussies.
Hamne Virat ko hi khada kar diya: Indians.

Kohli ke khilaaf 300 ko defend karna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai.
Iska hal saare mulko ke coaches dhoond rahe hain.

Aussie fielders Darr gaye and the bowling stuttered…
I hate you K… K… K… K… Kohli.

The series is now tied at 2-2-2.
In Bengaluru, rain always has the advantage.

Batting ke Shikhar par ek Dhanwaan baitha hua hai.

Indian bowling….
Isssshhhhhh! Sharma ke bina bhi sharma raha hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru