Brisbane Test Day 3 musings…

Ref: Second India-Australia Test at Brisbane.

Overseas Tests…
Play pathetically: Lose.
Play badly: Lose.
Play well: Lose.
Play really well: Lose.
Play awesomely: Draw.
Once in four years: Win.

The Indian attack is great at getting batsmen out.
It just can’t dismiss the bowlers.

After Kapil Dev, India has produced 25 fast bowlers faster than him, but not even one who remotely matches his fighting spirit.

Lightning strikes once.
Rare if it strikes twice.
If it strikes 10 times, then you’re the Indian bowling attack hit by the tail.

True Test parity…
At home we watch Indian batsmen doing The Great Escape.
Overseas, we watch the opposition batsmen doing The Great Escape.

India should stop importing foreign coaches and start importing foreign bowlers.
That’s the only way to save foreign Tests.

On foreign Test pitches, some tails last more sessions than Indian batsmen last balls.

If the Indian bowling attack took 19 wickets in 3 days on a foreign Test pitch, then you can be sure that the 20th would elude them for the next two days.

We won one foreign Test in 2011.
After that in 2014.
So the next is coming in 2017.

This is MS Dhoni’s 59th match as Test captain and Steven Smith’s first.
Frankly, it looks like the other way round.

On foreign Test pitches, the opposition’s last pair is better than India’s opening pair.

Overseas Test rules…
If India is 300-5, they can be 325 all down.
If the opposition is 300-5, they can go to 600.

In an overseas Test if India scores 450 and the opposition is 200-5, the Indian fan asks…
Can we somehow have a miracle and draw this match?

India’s DRS = Decisions Really Suck.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Adelaide Test musings…

Ref: First India-Australia Test at Adelaide.

Aus series he kya?
Nahi, Aasu series hai.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

Kohli, Viru ya ho Dhoni,
Fast bowling, spin ya kuch bhi anhoni,
Foreign pitches pe bas wohi hi honi.
‪#‎IndVsAus‬

2011: Can’t play fast bowlers on foreign pitches.
‪#‎Eng‬ ‪#‎Aus‬
2012: Can’t play spinners on home pitches.
#Eng
2014: Can’t play spinners on foreign pitches.
#Eng #Aus

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When India crossed 300 in ODIs yet again…

The wickets on both ends of Indian ODI pitches should be replaced by tombstones to signify bowlers’ graveyards.

#IndVsAus series report…
Runs, rains, (bowling) ruins, (India) reigns and (Aussie) remains.

Always “Ro”hit Sharma.
Pahale batting karta tha to Indian fans “ro”te the.
Ab opposition bowlers “ro”te hain.

Phata Ishant Sharma ka poster nikla Vinay Kumar Zero.

The RSS hand…
Rohit “Sixer” Sharma.

Today a Black Kite surveyed Chinnaswamy Stadium thinking, “What is this place where white spheres keep flying out all the time!”

For years, MS Dhoni got hammered for persisting with Rohit Sharma and Ravindra Jadeja.
As usual Captain Cool has the last laugh!

Sharma No. 1: Wassup?
Sharma No. 2: Unhone mujhe dho daala!
Sharma No. 1: Don’t worry, chun chun ke badla loonga!
(Key: No. 1 = Rohit. No. 2 = Ishant.)

Sachin-Sehwag-Sharma.
Do Sau-Sau-Sau!

In Bangalore today it will be raining rockets, fireworks, 4s and 6s.
Unless of course there is actual rain.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When India chased 350+ with Australia, again!

Aussie jugalbandi…
Batsmen: Aaj phir jeene ki tamanna hai!
Bowlers: Aaj phir marne ka iraada hai!

PJ of the day…
Hamne ek virat score khada kiya hai: Aussies.
Hamne Virat ko hi khada kar diya: Indians.

Kohli ke khilaaf 300 ko defend karna mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai.
Iska hal saare mulko ke coaches dhoond rahe hain.

Aussie fielders Darr gaye and the bowling stuttered…
I hate you K… K… K… K… Kohli.

The series is now tied at 2-2-2.
(India-Australia-Rain)
In Bengaluru, rain always has the advantage.

Batting ke Shikhar par ek Dhanwaan baitha hua hai.

Indian bowling….
Isssshhhhhh! Sharma ke bina bhi sharma raha hai!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru