Do you remember when was the last time before November 8, 2016 that…

Rupee 1811937_960_7201. The corrupt of the land burnt or shredded or dumped or distributed tens of thousands of crores of their black Rupees just like that?

2. The black money economy saw a real earthquake?

3. The Naxalite funding industry was severely hit?

4. The Kashmir terrorism industry was severely hit along with stone pelting?

5. The global counterfeiting industry was hit hard and had to begin from scratch vis a vis the Rupee?

6. Pakistan was suddenly squeezed financially by India (counterfeiting + terror funding)?

iphone-624709_960_7207. Mobile data/online payments/debit/credit cards/PoS devices/bank accounts/PayTM… etc (Phew!) all got a sudden simultaneous fillip.

8. The corrupt of the land were actually scared of a Prime Minister?

9. Political party funding went for a toss all across India?

10. Public utilities suddenly received back payments in cash including monthly and yearly backlogs.

currency-1843349_960_720And more importantly: All in one stroke?

Boss, neither do I!

#Demonetization

P.S. In large countries, India currently has the highest GDP growth rate in the world!

5 less discussed benefits of #Demonetisation…

pension-3723086_1280While there has been a lot of focus on the short-term hassles faced by the common people thanks to the #Demonetisation of the old Rs 500 and Rs 1000 notes and laments that the corrupt will find a way to offload money, a lot of people are missing the long term benefits of such a move.

1. The corrupt will lose money: How much black money is there in India? Nobody really knows though most of the estimates are in the tune of lakhs of crores of Rupees. While some of that is in gold, benami property and foreign bank accounts, there is no doubt that quite a lot of it is hoarded in Rs 500 and Rs 1000 bundles in households all across India.

The corrupt will not be able to offload all the money. Some they will be able to convert themselves, some will be passed off for conversion to others and even given away (good for the recipients). But the rest will miss the deadline and have to be burnt or thrown away.

This is already happening even though it’s been just a few days after the announcement. Burnt notes are being discovered all over India and many sacks are being dumped in dustbins! If any person finds that, then it will be a windfall of tens of thousands of Rupees (an amount easily convertible) at least.

But the corrupt will lose their black money in large numbers. That itself is a huge win from the scheme. It will take a few months for experts to figure the exact amount which is likely to be quite huge.

2. Counterfeiting just became super difficult: The Rs 500 Rupee note was introduced in 1997 and the Rs 1000 one in 2000 years. Once the counterfeiters mastered the art of duplicating them, it became a huge cash cow for them.

The Indian government has failed to check this menace and in certain border areas it has got so bad that the people have no idea which are the real notes and which are the fakes. In fact, many small shops in small towns all over India don’t accept high-denomination notes, which is a real pain for customers.

Now come the new notes and counterfeiters will have to start from scratch. News reports said that intelligence agencies have taken a look at the notes and declared them virtually impossible to duplicate. Let’s hope they are right.

3. Second #SurgicalStrike on Pakistan: While everyone knows of Pakistan’s direct wars and terror group attacks, a little discussed fact is their policy of economic warfare. Pakistan prints fake Indian notes with impunity and one commentator even joked that now the Pakistani economy would crash!

A bigger problem is that terror groups enter India with this fake currency. Those fake notes not only sponsor their terror operation but they also destabilize the Indian economy, so it’s a double whammy for us.

Post-9/11, Pakistan was on the ascendant. They re-cemented their ties with America and got flush with funds while America looked the other way. That’s why it was quite easy for the ISI to run an elaborate fake Indian Rupee operation.

However now the new notes are more difficult to counterfeit and the new US President Donald Trump may not be that favourable to looking the other way for all of Pakistan’s illegal activities. This is probably India’s second #SurgicalStrike on Pakistan this year and they have been checkmated.

4. Bad notes will exit the market: Anyone who has studied basic economics will know that after the Gold Standard was cancelled internationally and thanks to fractional-reserve banking, any government can print as many currency notes as it likes.

The only problem is that the more notes they flood into the market, the weaker the Rupee becomes and problems like inflation come up. The counterfeit money flooding the market has the same effect.

Well now as discussed above, first a lot of money is going to be burnt and thrown out. Second counterfeit money will be eliminated and more won’t come for some time. These “bad notes” will be taken out of the market and the spending power of the Rupee will go up.

5. Forward step towards a cashless economy: A cashless economy is quite convenient, easier to track for the government and discourages black money. (I am not talking about Swiss banks for the rich but the day to day activities for Indian citizens)

While a good chunk of India has embraced online banking, shopping, ticketing, taxis… a part of India is unwilling to try it out. However this move will make them see it in a new light.

For one thanks to the great inconvenience due to #Demonetisation in the next few months, a lot of Indians will switch to cashless transactions for what they think is a temporary measure, but they could well get hooked to it.

The Indian government has been pushing for the same and it has just received a fillip.

(This article appeared in Sify.com)

Random black money musings…

Jitna White Snow Switzerland main hain, utna Indian Black Money to zaroor hoga us desh main.

∙ The Indian politician’s…
Ad jingle: Khaaye ja, khaaye ja, corruption ke gun gaaye ja…
Money anthem: It don’t matter if you’re black or white.
Slogan: Black power!
Favourite book: Black Beauty.
Favourite film: Black.

∙ The country is in its elements…
Earth (Coalgate), Fire (KG Basin Oil Scam), Air (2G), Water (Belekeri port scam)

∙ Overheard…
Citizens: Bring back money from Switzerland.
Politicians’ families: Bring Black Money from Switzerland.

© Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 15

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Pre-screen.
Pre-screen who?
Pre-screen you and your head first, Mr Minister!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now to Stage 3 of my agitation!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Black money.
Black money who?
Black many accounts yes, but back money to India, no!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood movies on Indian politics, the sequel

The UPA series…

Chalti Ka Naam 2G and its sequel Badhti Ka Naam 3G

Maine Satta Kyun Liya, starring Manmohan Singh

Laaga Sarkar Pe Daag

Roti Kapada Aur Makaan @ Rs 32 Prati Din

Mujhse Deal Karoge? starring Niira Radia

Badmaash Company, starring Congress and Allies

We Are Family, starring Karunanidhi, Kanimozhi & Dayanidhi with Andimuthu Raja as the villain

Hum Kisise Kum Nahin, starring Andimuthu Raja

Do Term Barah Scam

Bhool Bhulaiyaa, the route taken by all CBI investigations

Kati Patang, the real story of UPA2

Aaj Ka Chacha Aur Bhatija, starring Sharad & Ajit Pawar

3 Idiots, UPA cut, starring Prashant Bhushan, Arvind Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi with Anna Hazare playing the role Virus, the hard taskmaster

Kabhi Kursi Kabhi Scam

The Diggy Raja Series…

3 Idiots, with Diggy as Rancho who has a solution to all Congress problems, ably supported by Kapil Sibal and Manish Tiwari

No Problem (For Diggy everything is always fine anyway)

Kyun Ki Main Jhooth Nahin Bolta

Black money series…

Black Main Rang de Basanti

Kal Ho Na Ho, Bharat Ko Loot Lo

Cheque (cash, kind, favour, kuch bhi) de India

Apna Sapna Black Money

Ek Aur Ek, Ek Sau Gyarah

Aamdani Atthani Kharcha Hazaar Rupaiya

One Two Ka Four Thousand

Note: Hera Pheri sequels got so many, that they have been converted into a daily soap on TV.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

All you need is 10 years…

(Recently Rahul Gandhi said something to the effect that just 10 years were needed to bring about a change in the country…)

Rahul: Give me 10 years and I will eradicate corruption.

Advani: That’s what I’m saying! We got just 5 years in power, we need just 5 more. Come on! Give it to me!

Yedyurappa: Advaniji, mere to mushkil se teen saal hi ho rahe hai aur aap mujhe jaane ke liye bol rahe ho!

Manmohan: Ye kya anarth ho raha hai! Year 5 tak corruption khatam tha! Years 5-10 main kaise bad raha hai?

Laloo: Accha ab samjha! Everything went wrong in years 10-15!

Nitish: LOL! Maine to paanch saal main hi kaya palat kiya hai!

CPM: Who is this Rahul Baba? He doesn’t know anything! You actually need 40 years! And we have just done 34! Just give us 6 more years!

People: Eh!!! Nehru got 17. Indira got 15. Manmohan is getting 10. Rajiv, Rao, Shastri together got much more than 10 years. What are you saying? You want to be PM for 10 years?

Congress spokesman: Err, are you saying that the term of Lok Sabha and assemblies should be 10 years instead of 5? Please tell fast, today 7 TV appearances!

India: Rahul Beta, call me India or Hindustan or Bharat or what you will, I have been around for thousands of years!

Rahul: Dil to bachcha hai ji!

© Sunil Rajguru