Lalu still rocks musings…

#LaluLand
Kejri wants to be like Lalu.
Nitish joins hands with Lalu.
Mamata will turn WB into Laluland.
Media will continue loving Lalu.

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak Kejri ka nautanki rahega chalu.
#AngreziLalu

Rulers of…
National politics—Modi.
Comedy—Pappu.
Drama—Kejri.
Jungle Raj—Lalu.
Illegal aliens—Mamata.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

All hail Hillary on the biggest loss in the history of democracy…

cartoon-2026564_640The mainstream media backed Hillary.
The global media backed Hillary.
The Obama Presidency apparatus backed Hillary.
Most world leaders backed Hillary.
The pollsters backed Hillary.
The Democratic National Committee backed Hillary.
Most of the Republican old guard backed Hillary.
The Democratic old guard backed Hillary.
All the living Presidents backed Hillary.
Intellectuals backed Hillary.
Liberals backed Hillary.
Feminists backed Hillary.
NGOs backed Hillary.
The debate questions backed Hillary.
The debate moderators backed Hillary.
Even the debate layout (putting chairs, low mike for Trump etc) backed Hillary.
The Corporate world backed Hillary.
The war industry backed Hillary.
Hollywood superstars backed Hillary.
Silicon Valley czars backed Hillary.
Prominent billionaires backed Hillary.
The FBI and Justice Department virtually backed Hillary.
Black Lives Matter backed Hillary.
Illegal aliens voted and backed Hillary.
Most of the rich donors backed Hillary.
Even a sitting Supreme Court judge trashed Trump and openly backed Hillary.
Sanders backed Hillary (even with a knife of betrayal in his back).
Violent protestors thrashed Trump supporters and backed Hillary.

Despite all this, Hillary was so useless that she got thrashed 232-306 in the electoral college by a 70-year-old man with virtually zero political experience and who never held a political post in his entre life and who was attacked and demonized 24X7 by most of the above mentioned groups.

Despite all this she was declared victor even before the final vote had been caste, she had her transition team ready and Newsweek even shipped copies declaring her Madam President.

Despite all this most of the above groups still can’t believe it and behave as if a landslide was stolen from her and protest violently.

Let’s just declare her the most unelectable candidate in the history of humanity and move on.

If her backers support her fake martyrdom all the way to 2020, then get ready for a Trump landslide.

(C) Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Kejri get #Demonetized

Modi is really lucky that he has clowns like Pappu and Kejri as his chief political opponents.

Kejri has sunk so low off late that he has emerged on the other side of the globe.

Under Nehru-Indira-Rajiv, queues (wait) for gas connections, phones, scooters and cars used to last for years.
Now Congress screams for a wait of hours.

Pappu visits yet another ATM.
For him ATM has become…
Any Time Mockery.

Tumhara votebank?
Pappu: Minorities, par unke liye kuch nahin kiya! LOL!
Kejri: Mera corruption plank aur maine bhi corruption ke liye kuch nahin kiya. LOL!

Many politicians in India today…
Nahin chalegi nahin chalegi,
Bharashtachar ke khilaaf tanashaahi nahin chalegi!

2011.
India Against Corruption.
2016.
Politicians have just stopped short of officially launching…
India For Corruption.

Rahul looks like Rajiv.
But sounds like a Pappu.
Mrs Vadra looks like Indira.
But sounds like Sonia.
#Pappini #Priyanka #UPPolls

The 2017 August Kranti agitation will be against Kejri.
Anna Hazare could still lead it.

2000: Rajesh Pilot died.
2001: Madhavrao Scindia died.
2012: Pranab Mukherjee became President.
2014: Manmohan Singh era ended.
No real leaders left in Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Media gets #Demonetized

Lalu Jungle Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Akhilesh Goonda Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Mamata anarchy.
Media: Wah wah!
Modi makes bold move.
Media: This will cost him next election!
(Won 4/4 for CM/PM by the way)

Journo 1: I am a crime reporter. You?
Journo 2: I am an ATM/bank queue reporter. I’ve become quite a specialist at it too!

One TV news channel to another…
Bhala tumhara ATM line hamara ATM line se lamba kaise?

Modi: I can end black money!
Media: I can end Modi’s career! (By showing only negativity. Trying and failing since 2002.)

Before….
Show a line of commentators on the TV screen venting non-stop.
Now….
Show a bank/ATM line on the TV screen venting non-stop.

ATM/Bank queues are the new Panel Discussions for Indian TV news channels.

There is a breed of commentators in India who have no ideology or stand or real views.
They just oppose whatever Modi does.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings

2009—Manmohan will bring change.
2011—Anna Hazare will bring change.
2014—Modi will bring change.
2016—The bank manager will bring change.

ATM: Any Time Money.
STM: Some Time Money.

#MakeInIndia + #Demonetization
=
Eradicating Pakistani counterfeit notes.

Citizen in 2014: Modi I want you to change this country.
Citizen in 2016: Modi I want you bring lots of change in this country.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Hillary musings…

She had it all…
H—Hubby ex-President
I—Intellectuals
L—Liberals
L—Leftists
A—Aliens (Illegal)
R—Radio-TV-Newspapers
Y—Year-long lead
She still lost!!!

In the Trump-Hillary match—organizers, officials, umpires, commentators, judges… all were with Hillary and she still lost.
Hillary supporters yet understand the magnitude of the ultimate loser.

If Trump’s slogan was #ImWithHim.
If Hillary’s slogan was #MakeAmericaGreatAgain.
Liberals would say…
Trump is an egotistic bigot!
Hillary is inclusive!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru