October 2016 Status Updates

#JNU is always in the news for everything except academics.

(October 20)

What’s the difference between a Day Test and a Day/Night Test?
In Day Test, Lunch comes first, then Tea.
In D/N Test, Tea comes first, then Dinner.

(October 17)

1947 Intolerance began…
6/10 inaugural Cabinet Ministers rebelled against Nehru, even his own Governor-General (Rajaji).
Opposition hounded, governments dismissed.
Era ended in 2014.

(October 15)

I disagree.
You’re wrong.
You’re lying.
Here’s disproving you.
(Just replace all of above by “troll”)

(October 3)

India needs the very mildest excuse to burst crackers at night or set up a pandal with 20,000 watt loudspeakers and spoil everyone’s sleep: Any vague festival, a cricket victory, a marriage…

Diwali = Noise pollution.
Holi = Colour pollution.
Dussehra = Effigy slaughter day.
Navratri = Festival of mini lathis.

Income Declaration Scheme: A means of gathering money from crooks, thereby pardoning them, thereby creating a pool of money for even more corrupt schemes which can thereby create more crooks those who can then go ahead and redeem themselves when the next round of IDS comes.
(Ad infinitum)

Bihar ne Laaltein, Teer aur Panja ko vote diya.
Laaltein bujh gaya.
Teer ne aam Bihari ko nishaana banaya.
Panja ne thappad mara.

Aye mere watan ke logon—zara yaad karo kurbani…
of Lal Bahadur Shastri too, a freedom fighter who spent 9 years in jail,
as it’s his Jayanti and not just of Mahatma Gandhi!

(October 2)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru