Nehru—The great collapser…

This autocratic leader’s fake consensus collapsed in the 1950s.

His war machinery collapsed in 1962.

His socialist economy collapsed in 1991.

His best friend USSR collapsed in 1991.

His Dynasty started collapsing from 2014.

His Congress started collapsing from 2014.

His #AdarshLiberals started collapsing from 2014.

In fact his entire legacy started collapsing from 2014.

© Sunil Rajguru

Sonia then and now…

Then…

Saviour for party.
Only alternative for India.
Nehru-Gandhi dynasty rocks.
Indian bahu rules.
Allies flock for sharing power.

Now…
Son is her only hope.
Only alternative for Congressis.
National Herald scam case.
Italian passport hai kya?
Allies flock for Modi bashing.

© Sunil Rajguru

More #‎SoniaRahulHazirHo‬ #NationalHeraldScam musings…

If Pappu breaks traffic rule and cop fines him, he’ll disrupt Parliament.
Headline will be…
BJP-backed Delhi Police derails GST and reforms in India.

Herald a new dawn for National pride!

Congress most consistent party.
Arrogant in power.
Arrogant in Opposition.
Arrogant throwing people in jail.
Arrogant while going to jail.

Congress President ashamed by appearing in court.
Premier newspaper headline has snatches of … “Cong celebrates” “tears into Modi” and “vendetta”.
Welcome to La La Land!

If and when Sonia is convicted, Congress will demand a Bharat Ratna for her supreme struggle against vendetta and intolerance.

The party which threw thousands in jail without a trial is frothing at the mouth at just the beginning of a simple sessions court trial.

#‎Bail‬ ho ya ‪#‎Jail‬,
Congressi bolega ‪#‎Hail‬,
Aam junta bolega ‪#‎Fail‬,
Hai in the Congress coffin final ‪#‎Nail‬,
End of ‪#‎Tale‬.

Sad times.
Court summoning is a triumph against vendetta.
Bail is a triumph.
No matter what sordid deed you do, it’s a triumph.

If becoming an accused and appearing in court is so noble then I guess most Congress leaders won’t mind following that path in the years to come.

The four stages…
1. Indian National Congress (Freedom movement).
2. Indian National Congress (Political party).
3. Congress (Indira).
4. Congress (Sonia).

C
O
Nehru-Motilal-Jawaharlal
Gandhi-Indira-Priyanka
Rajiv-Rahul-Robert
E
Sanjay
Sonia
C,O,E—Reserved for future generations.

Instead of fighting for 2019, the Congress is still fuming over 2014.

Indira comeback vs Sonia comeback…
Then: Indira most popular.
Now: Modi most popular.
Then: Indira 153 Lok Sabha seats.
Now: Sonia 45 seats.
Then: Jail without case.
Now: Solid case first.

GST to unko hataana hi tha,
‪#‎NationalHerald‬ to sirf ek bahana hi tha.
‪#‎LetParliamentWork‬

Whether Pappu decides to go to jail or not will be decided solely on whether Tihar has TV with Chhotta Bheem or not.

“I am the law”…

1. Dredd.
2. Arnab.
3. Sonia.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #NationalHerald musings…

Vadra…
Pre-2004: Mother-in-law.
2004-14: Mother-in-law-is-law.
2015: Mother-in-law’s-mother-in-law-is-Indira-is-India.
2016: Mother-in-law-is-out-law?

Lok Sabha TV and Rajya SabhaTV should be renamed Hungama TV 1 and Hungama TV 2.
‪#‎LetParliamentWork‬

India is Sonia.
Sonia is India.
—Congress.
India is Delhi.
Delhi is India.
—Mainstream media.

Sonia Indira se aage nikal gayi.
Indira ne PM ke gaddi pe baithke taanashaahi ki.
Sonia Opposition benches pe baithke taanashaahi kar rahi hai.

Indira Gandhi returned not because she was jailed, but because she was released after a stupid weak case.
If you go to jail for 10 years, you generally don’t return.

Pappu…
A for ‪#‎AwardWapsi‬.
I for Intolerance.
V for Vendetta.
D for Dictatorship.
Mamma agla kya hai?
A: Beta, J for Jail.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Sonia is summoned #NationalHerald musings…

BJP disrupted Parliament to oppose Congress corruption.
Congress disrupts Parliament to support Congress corruption.
Same to same.

Since May 16, 2004 it’s been ‪#‎BlowToSonia‬ non-stop.
Yet the ‪#‎BlowToModi‬ headlines still outnumber the above by 100 to 1.

So if every incident of Congress vendetta against Modi is taken up, BJP can disrupt Parliament for the next 100 years.
‪#‎CongressIsVendetta‬

The ‪#‎NehruGandhiDynasty‬ logic…

We don’t accept PM.
We don’t accept LS.
We don’t accept HC.
Ahem! Who’s being dictatorial?

‬With the way bad news is tumbling out day after day, Congress will have to disrupt Parliament till 2019.
‪#‎ParliamentRokoAndolan‬

Yesterday’s disruption: Intolerance.
Today’s disruption: Vendetta.
Tomorrow’s disruption: Morning headlines padke bataate hai.

Court summoned Sonia.
Mahatma brought beef ban.
Akhilesh incompetence led to Dadri.
But since ‪#‎ModiBashing‬ is national pastime, lage raho!

Day 1: Aaj mausam kaisa hai? Yaar bahut intolerance hai.
Day 2: Aaj vendetta kuch jyaada nahin lag raha?
Day 3: Fascism ki boo aa rahi hai mujhe.
Day 4: Yahan to dictatorship ki hawa chal rahi hai.

Vendetta—Prolonged bitter feud, rivalry.
Example—Congress has been running a vicious vendetta against all its opponents for 68 years now.

I am not scared.
My mother-in-law’s mother-in-law was Indira Gandhi.
—Sri Sri Vadraji.

Devaluation…
Indira was ex-Prime Minister and Leader of the Opposition with 153 Lok Sabha MPs when she was arrested.
Sonia is ex-Leader of the Opposition with 44 MPs when summoned.

INDirasonIA.

Fact of the day…
8% of the Lok Sabha holding the whole nation to ransom

Cases/enquiry against
Sonia
Rahul
Virbhadra
Gehlot
Kharge
Pilot
Diggy
Vohra
PC son

Kab tak protest karoge?

Sonia is Congress. Congress is Sonia.
‪#‎LongLiveSoniaGandhi‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu Parliament #NationalHerald musings…

Rajiv worse than Indira.
Sonia worse than Rajiv.
So far Pappu proving much worse than Sonia.
If Pappu loses in 2019, Congress is doomed.
If Pappu wins, India is doomed.

Till now Pappu was dismissed as a kid who threw regular tantrums.
But now it’s really getting out of hand.
‪#‎ParliamentRokoAndolan‬

Pappu: Tu jaanta nahin meri maa kaun hai?
Maa: Tu jaanta nahin meri saasumaa kaun thi?

This boy* will continue to bunk classes** all his life.
*Pappu
**Parliament sessions

Lucky Pappu.
He can say…
Tu jaanta nahin mera baap, maa, chacha, daadi, pardaada, parpardaada kaun hai?
‪#SoniaIsIndirazDaughterInLaw

Lucky Pappu.
He can say…
I am not afraid. I am a descendant of Motilal, Nehru, Indira, Rajiv and Sonia.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress sinking further musings…

Congress is a family business.
Pappu is the next CEO.
India is the market.
This business has many clients.
Intense fight will continue till 2019.

Voters showed great intolerance to Congress in 2014.
They are right. Intolerance is rising. It may be worse for them in 2019.

By the time Pappu finally becomes Prime Minister, he will be a frustrated bitter old man.
India’s future is doomed.

Congress gets 44 seats in 2014 polls.
Voter: I bet you can’t go any lower!
Congress: Challenge accepted!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Tere baap ka party hai kya?

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Naveen: Errr, “Biju” Janata Dal. Isn’t it pretty obvious?

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Omar: Actually mere dadaji ne ye party banaya tha.

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Akhilesh: Ha, isi liye ye haal hai, koi sunta hi nahin mera!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Pappu: Nahin. Baap, maa, chachu, daadi, uske papa, uske papa ke papa…

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Ajit: Arre! Mama-bhatija bhi kuch cheez hota hai bhai!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Derek O Brien: Mind your language! It’s just Didi Didi Didi!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Kumarswamy: Kya farak padta hai. Party hi bacha nahin hai!

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Alagiri: Nahin, bhai ka ho raha hai.

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Uddhav: Eh? Tu jaanta nahin mera baap kaun tha?

Tere baap ka party hai kya?
Chandrababu: Mere sasurji ek mahaan aadmi the.

© Sunil Rajguru

Alternative careers for sinking Congress leaders…

Rahul Gandhi: Fashion model.

Priyanka Vadra: Brand Ambassador to the real estate industry.

Sonia Gandhi: Permanent Ambassador to Italy.

Digvijay Singh: Conspiracy theory TV host.

Shashi Tharoor: Sonia’s official biographer.

Natwar Singh: Regular author, challenger to Chetan Bhagat.

Sushil Kumar Shinde: Successor to Ahmed Patel.

Kapil Sibal: Back to Full-time lawyer defending umpteen Congress scams.

Manish Tewari: Anchor of TV channel Congress Now challenging Arnab.

Abhishek Manu Singhvi: TV reality show participant.

Mani Shankar Aiyar: Rajiv Gandhi’s official biographer, series of many books.

Jairam Ramesh: Pappu’s official biographer.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Congress mobile terminology

Sonia: Out of your coverage area.

Rahul: Network error.

Spokespersons: Voice with no data.

PM: Silent mode.

Spokespersons: Loud ringtone and vibrate mode.

SMS: Something that spreads baseless rumours.

MMS: Parody of the original MMS! Ban it!

Mobile Internet: Twitter! Facebook! Ban it!

International roaming: If it concerns the dynasty, then RTI doesn’t apply.

Talk time: If it’s Congress spokespersons, 24X7. All others: Zero.

EDGE: Enhanced Dynastic Rate for Gandhis’ Evolution.

Voice over Internet Protocol: Can we actually yell at people while they surf the Internet!

1G: Motilal Nehru, first generation Nehru-Gandhi dynasty.

2G: Spectrum for scam allocation.

3G: Future scam potential spectrum.

4G: Sonia, fourth generation dynasty.

5G: Rahul, fifth generation dynasty. And like 5G (the technology), is very undercooked and years away from maturing and hitting the market.

These Versions by Sunil Rajguru