April 2016 Status Updates

Top 3 films by Box Office in 2016 so far…
3rd: SRK film.
2nd: Akshay film.
1st: Chaddi pahan ke phool khila hai…

(April 24)

Domestically a superstar just needs half his film’s cost from domestic Box Office.
Rest will come from global BO, TV, music, promotional etc rights for a tidy profit.

(April 22)

Pakistan…
1947-58: Democracy.
1958-71: Dictatorship.
1971-78: Democracy.
1978-88: Dictatorship.
1988-99: Democracy.
1999-2008: Dictatorship.
2008-__: Democracy.
Coup inevitable before 2020?

(April 21)

Film reviews of Bollywood superstars…
Great/very good/good/average = 5 stars.
Below average/bad/pathetic = 4 stars.
All time disaster = 3 stars.

(April 20)

Raina means night.
That’s why he performs well in Day-Night matches and especially IPL.
That’s why he was a flop in Tests, which is played only in the day.

(April 10)

Kanhaiya must be commended for coming out with a huge “Bharat Mata Ki Jai” revolution all across India.

(April 8)

Pakistan in 2016 says peace process with India is now suspended.
Incorrect.
It suspended the peace process in 1947 itself immediately after being born.

J&K Dy CM to NIT students…
In order to check whether your security is adequate or not, I cannot come because my security is not adequate.

A movie on the political situation of Bihar would be called Jungle (Raj) Book and it would get an A certification.

(April 7)

Then…
They don’t need bread. Let them go eat cake!
Now…
They don’t need fan. Let them go have AC!
‪#‎RakhiSawant‬

(April 5)

Militarily, Pakistan was the most powerful Muslim nation in the world.
It severely weakened itself by attacking India non-stop for no valid reason.

(April 2)

The vicious American War Cycle…
Democrats create conditions for war.
Republicans go to war.

2012 US Prez polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2014 India PM polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2015 UK PM polls: Candidate with most Twitter followers won.
2016 US Prez polls: Trump has the most Twitter followers.

(April 1)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Misbah and Pakistan musings…

Pakistan finally wins!
Burst all the firecrackers.
Pata nahin agla ‪#‎MaukaMauka‬ kab milega.

The times they are a changing…
1992—Pakistan defy all odds to win the World Cup.
2015—Pakistan defy all odds to beat Zimbabwe in the World Cup.

Thanks to Akmal’s drops, Pakistan always needs 12-14 wickets.
Thanks to Misbah’s dot balls, Pakistan bats in a virtual 40-over match.
Thanks to Afridi’s age, the average age of Team Pakistan is always low.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Misbah and Pakistan musings…

Misbah-ul-Haq is the greatest Test batsman in the history of ODI cricket.
AB de Villiers is the greatest T20 batsman in the history of ODI cricket.
Virender Sehwag is the greatest ODI batsman in the history of Test cricket.

Pakistani cricketer Misbah-ul-Haq’s biggest inspirational story in life is that of the hare and the tortoise.

The ODI strike rate of Misbah-ul-Haq…
20 years back he would have been a great ODI player.
20 years hence that pace won’t even make it to Tests.
Misbah: Leading the anti-T20 revolution well into 2015.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

5 reasons why Pak’s claim on Kashmir is impossible

scene-2915402_1280Pakistan fires at the border and steps up its clandestine war against India even as the Indian Government wants peace talks with its enemy. Why does India always speak with Pakistan in a position of weakness rather than one of strength? Pakistan has a one-point Kashmir agenda and there are many reasons why that is an impossible claim…

1. We’re entering an era of fixed boundaries: Pakistan managed to capture PoK in the 1947-48 war only because Kashmir was in limbo land at that time. Once India took charge, it refused to cede any more land. All their attacks have so far gone in vain. China captured Aksai Chin in 1962 only because of Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru’s soft stance.

However we are now entering an era of fixed boundaries the world over. Till World War II, international borders were all pretty fluid, but after that they have slowly started becoming fixed. We don’t have any Hitlers trying to conquer the world any more.

It is impossible for a larger country to capture land from a smaller country nowadays. The US is not a colonial empire like the British were once. Even to attack Syria, US President Barack Obama really struggled and now may not do so. And here we have the case of a smaller country (Pakistan) trying to capture land (Kashmir) from a larger country (India)!

2. Direct attack and militancy have all failed: Pakistan tried to capture Kashmir by force in 1965 but failed spectacularly. They were buoyed by India’s 1962 loss and Prime Minister Lal Bahadur Shastri’s magnanimity over Rann of Kutch. Things should have ended there.

The 1971 war was even more humiliating for they lost East Pakistan, which became Bangladesh. Siachen was thwarted in the 1980s.

Then they tried militancy in Kashmir in the 1990s, which has claimed thousands of lives. But after more than two decades even that is on the decline. After failing with their Kashmir strategy, they sponsored attacks in the rest of India with 26/11 being the most prominent, but that has only turned international opinion against them.

3. The nuclear parity bluff has been exposed: Zulfikar Ali Bhutto said that Pakistan would eat grass, but build the atomic bomb. After the Chagai blasts of 1998, Pakistan mistakenly thought they had nuclear parity. They launched the Kargil War immediately after in 1999 and failed yet again. Pakistan was left severely weakened and when the US made many demands of them post-9/11, they were in no position to refuse.

In fact after the Chagai N-blasts all manner of reports started appearing in the Pakistani press saying that if Pakistan attacked, then India wouldn’t retaliate over fears of Pakistan’s nukes.

The irony is that the architect of Kargil, General Pervez Musharraf, is a pariah in his own land.

4. They have played all their cards: 1. Sending in tribals while Kashmir was contemplating its future. 2. Pressurizing the US over Kashmir by accepting all their other demands. 3. Direct attacks in 1965 and 1999. 4. Nuclear parity delusions. 5. Covert operations. 6. Militancy in Kashmir. 7. Terrorism in the rest of India….

Sitting at the table, Pakistan has thrown all its cards on the table. They still refuse to quit and continue playing with an empty hand. There is no point in continuing with a game you have no chance of winning.

5. Their quest for Kashmir has destroyed them: Till 1991 when India liberalized, Pakistan was at par with India on many indicators. In fact the term “Indo-Pak” had some sort of parity. But after that India has gone way ahead of Pakistan. Now the terms “Indo-China” and “Af-Pak” are two parities.

Pakistan is day by day resembling the failed state of Afghanistan.

Their democracy is in shambles.

Their economy is going nowhere.

Their terror groups have run amok and kill a record number of civilians.

They are hopelessly dependent on America for everything.

They have been split into two in the past.

They are making absolutely no breakthrough vis a vis India.

And still they focus all their energies on Kashmir!

Parting shot…

Pakistan had a weak case to begin with. Pakistan simply took it for granted that Kashmir would be part of them (by one account, the k in Pakistan stands for Kashmir). However the British simply said that each kingdom would be free to make its own decision.

In fact Pakistan did not accept the British stand.

They did not accept the Indian stand.

They did not accept the stand of the monarch of Kashmir.

They did not accept popular leader Sheikh Abdullah’s stand.

So on what ground was Pakistan standing?

If Pakistan was just in a weak position after Kashmir’s Instrument of Accession to India, it is in a totally lost cause in 2013.

India should realize this and talk tough instead of appearing soft all the time!

(This article appeared in Sify.com)

Kashmir versus Pakistan…

Claim: Indian Kashmir is occupied by Indian Army.
Reality: Pakistan is occupied by Pakistani Army (and terrorist groups).

Claim: Kashmir is a troubled State.
Reality: Pakistan is the most troubled State.

Slogan: Save Kashmir.
Reality: Save Pakistan.

Claim: Indians don’t care for Kashmir.
Reality: Pakistanis don’t care for Pakistan.

Claim: There should be Plebiscite in Kashmir.
Reality: There should be Plebiscite in every State of Pakistan.

Claim: There will be peace in Pakistan when there is peace in Kashmir.
Reality: As long as there is no peace within Pakistan, Kashmir will always be targeted.

Claim: Kashmir should be part of Pakistan.
Reality: Pakistan’s claims on Kashmir will leave it in parts.

© Sunil Rajguru

Columns on Pakistan

The disintegration of Pakistan has finally begun…
October 1, 2015, Sify.com

Seven reasons to be wary of Somnath Bharti
September 28, 2015, Sify.com

10 reasons why we shouldn’t have talks with Pakistan…
August 24, 2015, Sify.com

7 ways the Army has destroyed Pakistan…
December 22, 2014, Sify.com

Bad Taliban. Worse Taliban. Worst Taliban
December 21, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan is back to its tricks yet again
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

A to Z of Pakistani terror
December 19, 2014, Sify.com

Stop playing good terrorist bad terrorist!
December 18, 2014, Sify.com

Pakistan’s destructive self-fulfilling prophesy
October 10, 2014, Sify.com

The Ten Wars of Pakistan on India
October 9, 2014, Sify.com

5 reasons why Pak’s Kashmir claim is impossible
27 September, 2013, Sify.com

Who is Pakistan’s biggest victim?
24 May, 2013, Sify.com

Pak leadership change always bad news
14 May, 2013, Sify.com

Indo-Pak ties: We smile, they attack
09 January, 2013, Sify.com

Can’t we solve the Kashmir problem by 2017?
11 April 2012, Sify.com

Coup in Pak could mean a war with India again
13 January 2012, Sify.com

It’s still bouquets for Pak & brickbats for India
12 November, 2010, Sify.com

Wanted: A Berlin Wall for India and Pakistan
July 23, 2010