Nobody beat India.
India beat Pakistan.
Pakistan beat South Africa.
South Africa beat Ireland.
Ireland beat West Indies.
West Indies beat Zimbabwe.
Zimbabwe beat UAE.
UAE beat Nobody.
Nobody beat New Zealand.
New Zealand beat Australia.
Australia beat Sri Lanka.
Sri Lanka beat Bangladesh.
Bangladesh beat England.
England beat Afghanistan.
Afghanistan beat Scotland.
Scotland beat Nobody.
(Ref: Group stages.)
© Sunil Rajguru
Pakistan finally wins!
Burst all the firecrackers.
Pata nahin agla #MaukaMauka kab milega.
The times they are a changing…
1992—Pakistan defy all odds to win the World Cup.
2015—Pakistan defy all odds to beat Zimbabwe in the World Cup.
Thanks to Akmal’s drops, Pakistan always needs 12-14 wickets.
Thanks to Misbah’s dot balls, Pakistan bats in a virtual 40-over match.
Thanks to Afridi’s age, the average age of Team Pakistan is always low.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Misbah-ul-Haq is the greatest Test batsman in the history of ODI cricket.
AB de Villiers is the greatest T20 batsman in the history of ODI cricket.
Virender Sehwag is the greatest ODI batsman in the history of Test cricket.
Pakistani cricketer Misbah-ul-Haq’s biggest inspirational story in life is that of the hare and the tortoise.
The ODI strike rate of Misbah-ul-Haq…
20 years back he would have been a great ODI player.
20 years hence that pace won’t even make it to Tests.
Misbah: Leading the anti-T20 revolution well into 2015.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Reference: New Zealand ODI 20 February 2015.
During supper break…
England team: We are not hungry.
The cook: Yeah I saw you all devouring huge helpings of humble pie all day.
Duke of Wellington won the Battle of Waterloo in 1815.
The English met their Waterloo at the Battle of Wellington in 2015.
England is not even the best ODI cricket team in the British Isles.
Some time back Ab de Villiers hit 149 runs off 31 balls.
Today England hit 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
Angrezo, chullu bhar paani main doob maro!
England lost an ODI.
Had Brendon McCullum not got out, New Zealand would have won a T10 match.
Pre-McCullum era = 123 runs off 33.2 overs.
McCullum era = 105 runs off 7.1 overs.
Post-McCullum era = 20 runs off 5.1 overs.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
Total prize money up for grabs for 200+ players participating in 2015 ODI World Cup…
$10 million.
Yuvraj Singh’s fee for just appearing in IPL 2015…
$2.5 million.
The World Cup jinx…
Sri Lanka has never beaten Pakistan.
Pakistan has never beaten India.
India has never beaten South Africa.
South Africa has never beaten anyone in a knockout match.
A Tale of Three Summers…
Team India went from an Indian Summer to an Australian Summer and will return to an Indian Summer again.
Instead of a long rest, they’ll rush into a 1.5 month long IPL.
1992—India has beaten you in a World Cup. Will you give it back to them?
Pakistan—#WeWontGiveItBack—1996, 1999, 2003, 2011, 2015.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru