Daily Archives: June 3, 2016

Kejri vs Modi…

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Only in India would…

…a man who has frauds related to education with his MLAs question the degree of the Prime Minister even though there was zero controversy in that regard.

…a man call the Prime Minister a psychopath on Twitter, see his online supporters indulge in dirty tricks and then complain of non-stop abuse from trolls.

…the least experienced and zero achievement Chief Minister try to rubbish one of the most successful Chief Ministers ever.

…a man who faces a handful of cases against himself and dozens against his brand new party keep hurling non-stop allegations against the Prime Minister.

…a man hug one the most corrupt Chief Ministers in country and then accuse the Prime Minister of corruption.

© Sunil Rajguru

I have succeeded because it is my delusion that he has failed…

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Q: What are your qualifications?
Kejri: Modi has a fake degree.

Q: What is the Delhi Model?
Kejri: The Gujarat Model is a flop.

Q: There are many cases against AAP MLAs. Should they be arrested?
Kejri: Modi is not arresting Sonia because he is afraid of her.

Q: You haven’t ever attacked Sonia directly.
Kejri: Modi is not arresting Sonia because he is afraid of her.

Q: You have met many religious hardliners. Are you communal?
Kejri: Modi is communal.

Q: Modi is leading a power transformation in India.
Kejri: Power situation has deteriorated in Delhi. Modi is a flop.

Q: Private vehicles contribute to just 2-3% to air pollution. What’s the point of the odd and even scheme with all its exceptions?
Kejri: It is a conspiracy by Modi.

Q: Why are you spending so much money on ads all across India?
Kejri: Modi has spent more.

Q: But he is Prime Minister of all of India and you are Chief Minister of just New Delhi.
Kejri: Modi has spent more.

Q: What are your achievements?
Kejri: Modi is a failure.

© Sunil Rajguru

The humour of India musings…

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Not only does India have a poor Human Rights Record, it has a poor Humour Rights Record too.

Here is a short list of things you can’t make fun of in India.
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Everything.

We should have a list of people in India who we cannot offend.
Very soon it will include 125 crore people.
Then it will become a list of 10 billion to include even the dead.

Old logic…
If someone offends you, ignore him.
New logic…
If someone offends you, go nationwide Sparta!!!
Also, what else is Twitter for?

He thinks he’s Tanmay Bhat.
Others think he’s Tan may not Bhat.
‪#‎TanmayRoasted‬

A day will come when Twitter will outrage because there is no outrage that day.

#‎AlastairCook‬
Debuted at 21, 10K Test runs at 31.6.
‪#‎Tendulkar‬
Debuted at 16, 10K Test runs at 31.10.
Bigger news than Tanmay?
‪#‎JustAsking‬

Modi is the only person you can attack bindaas in India without any fear of serious backlash.
You will get tonnes of support in fact.
‪#‎FoS‬

Stage 1: Manufacture opinion.
Stage 2: Manufacture news.
Stage 3: Manufacture outrage.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Mera Pappu Mahaan musings…

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He will definitely get the top job for the sake of symmetry.
1919: Congress President Motilal Nehru creates Dynasty.
2019: Congress President Rahul Gandhi destroys Dynasty.

Hit Hollywood film…
Last King of Scotland.
Hit Bollywood film on Pappu…
Last King of Congressland.
(Party will shut down after that)

BJP second in taking ‪#‎CongressMuktBharat‬ seriously.
First is Congress itself which keeps insisting on hurtling from one disaster to another.

This august house is full of adarsh people whom we should call ji.
This Agusta house is full of Adarsh people whom we should call 2G.

Nehru went back in time (even when there was no time) before the Big Bang and created the Universe.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega Kejri baba musings…

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After frothing in the mouth over India’s really bad political parties, Anna Hazare decided to gift us the worst ever.
‪#‎AAP‬

Tum mujhe khoon do, main tumhe azaadi doonga.
—Netaji.
Tum mujhe support do, main tumhe AAP doonga.
—Annaji Hazare.

When it comes to celebrations, beat this…
Spends tonnes of money to advertise nationwide nothing done in a municipality.
‪#‎Kejri‬

AAP did not aspire to be different.
It aspired to be worse than the worst politicians of the land.

Jinke sheeshe ke ghar hote hai—unhe pathar nahin fekne chahiye.
Kejri: Isi liye maine bulletproof glass ka istemaal kiya hai!
‪#‎ShootAndScoot‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Modi Modi Modi musings…

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The issue is not when ‪#‎AccheDin‬ came.
The real issue is that ‪#‎BureDin‬ came for them on May 16, 2014.

No matter how much law and order breaks down in Bihar, UP and WB, they will find a wayto blame Modi.
‪#‎Mathura‬

There was no alternative to Nehru and he ruled till death for 17 years.
If the Opposition doesn’t get its act together, forget 2019, Modi will win 2024 too.

#‎Dadri‬
The crux of the issue is the total break down of law and order under Akhilesh 2012 onwards being blamed on Modi 2014 onwards.
In the long run, Bihar ‪#‎JungleRaj‬ will also be Modi’s fault.

Phase I.
Congress. Second Front.
Phase II.
Congress. BJP. Third Front.
Phase III.
BJP. Second Front.

2010s—The candidate with the most Twitter following usually wins.
‪#‎Obama‬ ‪#‎Modi‬ ‪#‎Cameron‬ ‪#‎Erdogan‬
As of now Trump leads Hillary by 2 million.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru