Virat “King Kohli” musings…

cricket-players-2027502_640Foreign intellectuals will soon start an ‪#‎AwardWapsiCampaign‬ to protest Kohli’s Rising Intolerance against all bowlers in all formats.

When it comes to Kohli, MC-BC now stands for…
Master Chaser-Boss of the Chase.

Kohli ko chase main harana mushkil hi nahin, namumkin hai.
Iska hal gaayra mulko ki coaching departments khoj kar rahi hai.
‪#‎DonKohli‬

Q: What do you think of ‪#‎GharWapsi‬?
Kohli: Yes I love it. First we sent the Pakistanis home and then the Aussies. I want to do the same with the Windies.

Phone call: Can I speak to xyz Indian batsman?
Answer: Woh abhi batting pe gaye hai. Noodles chadha do. Boil ho jaayenge, tab tak wapis aa jaayenge.
Phone call: Can I speak to Kohli?
Answer: Woh abhi batting karne gaye hai. Kucch ghante baad jab India ki jeet ke phatake phootenge, matlab woh free ho gaye. Tab call karna.

Kohli to Australia…
Aisa hai bhai, aap logon ne ODI World Cups kuch had se jyaada hi jeete hai. Ab hum tumhe T20 World Cups nahin jeetne denge.

Rohit: Poori innings ya to main kheloonga ya tu.
Kohli: Chal hat. Is maamle main, main thoda selfish hu.

Australia in first 4 overs = 53 runs.
India in last 4.1 overs = 59 runs.
Tu great starter, to main greater finisher.
—Sri Sri Kohli Baba.

And Dhoni too…

Ashes to ashes,
And dust to dust,
If Kohli don’t get you,
Dhoni must.

Umpire: Line belongs to me.
Dhoni: Last over belongs to me.
Kohli: BC. MC. Poora inning mera.

Indian batting…
Body: Kohli.
Tail: Dhoni.
Yaane ki Indian batting ki umar hai itni sanam,
Kohli se shuru aur Dhoni se khatam.

Brangelina se dumdaar jodi hai Dhonikohli.

Smith wins the toss, elects to bat. Dhoni, you disappointed.
Dhoni: Thanks Steve! Kohli will anchor the chase and I’ll hit the winning shot.

Steve Waugh could do mental disintegration over a period of five days.
MS Dhoni can do that in one ball.

Chase main koi double century bhi maarega phir bhi winning shot main hi maarunga.
—Sri Sri Dhoni Baba.

Lethal jodi…
Kohli takes single and Dhoni comes on strike.
Bowler apna sar patakta hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

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