Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Pre-screen.
Pre-screen who?
Pre-screen you and your head first, Mr Minister!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now to Stage 3 of my agitation!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Black money.
Black money who?
Black many accounts yes, but back money to India, no!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
How to make India a clean country…
Step 1: Take the highly complex issue of Corruption and isolate it.
Step 2: Put it in a box called Lokpal and lock it, throwing away the keys.
Step 3: Throw the box in the Anna River.
Step 4: Stand by the banks and pray…
∙ This whole Anna Hazare saga and his fight with the government is fast resembling a Harry Potter-Voldemort fight. Here’s reworking the original prophesy…
“The one with the power to vanquish the UPA approaches… born to a movement which has been thrice defied by the Centre… and the UPA will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the UPA knows not … and either must fall at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…”
2012 Outlook: Either the government will fall or Anna will totally fail and be consigned to the shadows.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
In LOKPAL, the K stands for Kiran Bedi, the P stands for Prashant Bhushan and the A stands for Anna Hazare.
Now you’ll ask, what about the letters that are left.
What are the letters that are left?
L… O… L…
LOL!
So you really think that a strong Lokpal Bill will be passed?
LOL!
© Sunil Rajguru
Classic Saying: Delhi door hai.
Anna Saying: Delhi paas hai.
Congress: Lokpal paas hai.
Anna: Lokpal door hai.
Congress: Bhrashtachar door hai.
Anna: Bhrashtachar (tumhare) paas hai.
Congress: RSS (tumhare) paas hai.
Anna: RSS door hai.
Anna: Hamare paas Lok taqat hai.
Congress: Tumse door Lok Sabha hai.
Anna: Aam aadmi (tumhare) paas nahin hai.
Congress: Aam chunav door hai.
© Sunil Rajguru
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
FDI.
FDI who?
F*** D Idea! Retail will be swadeshi and we will protest, stall parliament, have dharnas and the like even if we are the BJP and we had thought of exactly the same thing when we were in power!
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now another fast is on the cards in December. After August Kranti, will we have a December Dhamaka or a Damp Squib?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Windies.
Windies who?
Win these close ones on a regular basis Team India and we’ll all have a regular case of nerves.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
NATO.
NATO who?
Na to your apology says Pakistan over the deathly strike!
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
After the Fellowship of the Team Anna and The Two Fasts, we are looking at the Return of the Hunger King in December when Mr Hazare Goes to Delhi (the Sin City) to complete the Lord of the Fastings trilogy. But will Anna show True Grit and be The Rock or will he simply continue to call the government Liar Liar? The Congress on its part will look at Team Anna and say Look Who’s Talking!, continuing to call it the Enemy of the State.
What Lies Beneath the news? There will no point in Switching Channels as all of them will show the same ole Fight Club and The Social Network will be abuzz again with activity. The common man, meanwhile, is increasingly bent on showing his Fist of Fury.
But still, The Tihar Redemption looks unlikely and the UPA won’t rely on Transformers or go in for a new Avatar. It’s all badly Tangled: The UPA could well sink like the Titanic The Day After Tomorrow in 2012. So all in all it does appear a Mission: Impossible.
India is all about Eat Pray Love? Come December and it could well only be Fast Swear Hate.
Bonus…
More Hollywood ways of looking at the April-August-December (if it takes place) fasts…
The Anna Identity. The Anna Supremacy. The Anna Ultimatum. (Bourne)
Anna. Anna Reloaded. Anna Revolutions. (Matrix)
These versions by Sunil Rajguru