Laloo: What a loser! The fodder scam was worth thousands of crores and here I’ve heard that only 50-70 crores was involved! And that too not directly attributed to him! (Though I’ve heard he’s marrying her, in that case it’s OK as in politics wives have full access to the husband’s legacy. P.S. Rabri has already been CM so I am no longer interested in the Women’s Reservation Bill)

Mulayam: I hate cricket. I hate IPL. I hate British sports. Ban everything. (Actually the real reason why I want him out is that I’ve been meaning to ban computers and here’s a guy who’s taken Indian politics into the computer! Dangerous!)

Left: We don’t have any real issues and our policies are irrelevant to modern India, but we like protesting, which is on our blood, so we will protest any way. As it is, this guy is our No.1 Enemy as he spends thousands of Rupees on 5-star hotels. (Politicians’ thousands of crores of hidden money doesn’t bother us though)

Pranab: When I talked of austerity, he stayed in 5-star. Serves him right!

Modi: When we are together-together, I am Mr Clean. When we are against-against, I am Mr Shady? What a hypocrite!

Shashank Manohar: Ye IPL ke haath dede mujhe Thakur!

Balasaheb: This is not fair. I’ve been ruling politics for decades. I hate the IPL jamboree but no-one listened to me! Who’s this upstart who hasn’t been in politics even for a year! He’s been more successful than me this year. And he’s making Pawar squirm. That’s my department!

Manmohan: I really like this guy. With all these controversies, is anyone even talking about me? I am quietly doing what exactly I want to do. I’m loving it! I’ll definitely get this guy back when the entire furor ends.

© Sunil Rajguru