Today’s random musings…

Look up and look down…
Vijay Mallya (Looking up): Can someone please bail me out?
Manmohan Singh (Looking up): Can someone please bail my government out?
Barack Obama (Looking up): Can someone please bail my country out?
God (Looking down): Can someone please bail me out of handling these humans?

The Modern Day Descartes
The Economy: I sink therefore I am.
Anna Hazare: I drink therefore I… Bam!
Indian Politician: I hoodwink therefore I am.
Social Media Enthusiast: I hyperlink therefore I am.

Differences in perspective
Rahul Gandhi on his “Join the poor” road show to a chaiwallah: Ek “By two” chai dena!
Mayawati to the Centre: Ek “By four” State dena!

The Law of Diminishing Returns
Rahul to Maya: Main tere tukde tukde kar doonga…
Maya to UP: Main tere tukde tukde kar doongi…
Rahul: Kya mujhe sirf ek tukda mil sakta hai?

Democracy versus Mobocracy
How many people does it take to elect a government in Egypt?
—30-40 million in a nationwide ballot.
How many people does it take to topple a government in Egypt?
—1 million at Tahrir Square!

Abbreviated governance…
BJP: 2G!
UPA: JPC!
BJP: CAG!
UPA: PAC!
BJP: PC!
UPA: CBI!

Spot the difference…
What’s the difference between Rahul Gandhi and LK Advani?
—Both want to be prime minister and are perpetually touring the country to achieve their ends, the only difference is that Rahul is Rathless.

Downright abysmal PJ of the day…

India without Kashmir will be like a headless chicken going Pak Pak Pak Pak PoK PoK PoK PoK…

© Sunil Rajguru

Absolutely faaltu, meaningless and disjointed statistics…

Number of People killed by Ghosts every year: Practically Zero
Number of People scared by Ghosts every year: Millions

Maximum number of People killed by Sharks in a single modern year: 11
Number of Sharks killed by People in the modern world: Billions

Number of People who theoretically can be Vegetarians if they want to: All 7 Billion
Number of People who would rather be Non-vegetarians and kill Trillions of living beings: Billions

Number of People who are “believed” to have seen God: Dozens
Number of People who actually believe in the existence of God: Billions
Number of People killed directly or indirectly in the name of God in History: Billions

Number of People killed by People in the history of man“kind”: Tens of Billions

Key takeaways…
…ghosts are real… sharks are monsters… God exists and is our benevolent protector… man is a civilized, sophisticated and highly evolved intelligent being that is the most superior life form on this planet and maybe even in the universe…

© Sunil Rajguru