Dealdaara dealdaara …

SRK is not the Dildaara of Ra.One, but the “Deal”daara of the real world and just seems want money, not the viewer, to Stand by him… After many years he has made enough money to fill his coffers thanks to hype and multiple deals…
Please read to the tune of Dildaara (Stand By Me)

When the kadki has come,
When the kadki has come,
Then the money coffers are dark,
And the moolah is the only light,
And the moolah is the only light,
We will see… Darling money, darling money…

O paisa O paisa, mera pyaara paisa,
O… poori hai dua, ab kuch bhi…
To ant nahin, tujhe pa ke lage…
Muqammal hai khuda.

O paisa O paisa, mera pyaara paisa,
O… tere naam sa… ab koi… bhi lafz nahi…
Ra.One ko dekhe… Sau crore log sau dafa.

Dealdaara dealdaara … Ye rati bhar ka talent bhala,
Dealdaara dealdaara …Ye movie ho superhit sabse bada…

O… Dealdaara dealdaara … Main jeeta bhale hi viewer haara,
Dealdaara dealdaara …
Darling money, darling money, Stand By me…
Come on and stand… Stand by me…

O box office ka khuda, yaane ki mere khuda,
O… tujhse hi hai vastha (and the moolah is the only light)
Tu… manzil… hai aur tu hi uss manzil ki…
Aage ka rasta (The sequel will come when the money coffers are dark)

Dealdaara dealdaara …
Tere 3D nazaro se mila extra paisa (Now the money coffers are no longer dark)
O… Dealdaara dealdaara …
Main jeeta bhale hi viewer haara (Now the money coffers are no longer dark)

Darling money, darling money… Stand by me…
Won’t you stand… stand by me…

(Original Song: Dildaara (Stand By Me)
Film: Ra.One.
Year: 2011)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Money can and cannot buy…

Money can’t buy you love, but it sure can buy you sex.

Money can’t buy you happiness, but it sure can get you temporary gratification.

Money can’t buy you God, but it sure can influence religious leaders.

Money can’t buy you a happy marriage, but it sure can settle a messy divorce.

Money can’t buy you respect, but it sure can buy you fear.

Money can’t buy you a happy family, but it sure can shut them up.

Money can’t buy the world, but it sure can help you see most of it.

P.S. Who has seen true love and happiness anyway?

And who has really met God?

…and that brings us straight back to Money…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How petrol prices in India defy gravity…

Crude oil price up… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Crude oil price down… Stay put! Stay put!

Government needs money… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Government doesn’t need money… Stay put! Stay put!

Oil companies have subsidy problem… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Oil companies have no subsidy problem… Stay put! Stay put!

Oil companies make losses… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Oil companies make profits… Stay put! Stay put!

The price of everything is going up… Hike prices! Hike prices!
The price of everything is going down… Stay put! Stay put!

Demand greater that supply… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Supply greater that demand… Stay put! Stay put!

No price hike for ages… Hike prices! Hike prices!
No substantive petrol price cut ever… Stay put! Stay put!

Everything that goes up must come down?
Ha ha! You haven’t met the wizards in the Indian oil industry yet!

© Sunil Rajguru

Main politician to nahin…

(Original Lyrics: Main shaayar to nahin, magar ae haseen jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko shaayari aa gayi…
Song: Main shayar to nahin. Film: Bobby. Year: 1973.)

Now Kanimozhi was a shaayar to begin with. So how did she enter politics?
Her take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen rokda jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Manmohan’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae kambakht Raja ko jabse dekha, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Anna’s take…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae haseen andolan aur mauka jab se dekha maine tujhko, mujhko politics aa gayi…

Diggy Raja’s take…
Main spokesperson to nahin, magar ae Congress bachane ka bhoot ka virus jab se dimaag main ghusa, mujhko verbal diarrhoea aa gayi…

Rahul…
Main politician to nahin, magar kya karu, mere DNA main hain, politics aaye ya na aaye, ek din to pradhan mantra ban-na hi padega! Meri duvidha samjha karo bhai log!

Advani…
Main pradhan mantri to nahin, magar marte dum tak pradhan mantrigiri jaayegi nahin…

Maya…
Ye koi maya to nahin, par jabse maine pradhan mantri ki kursi ko dekha, aur kuch dikhai deta hi nahin…

Sonia…
Na main politician hu, na main shaayar hu, bus ek behind the scenes player hu…

Chidambaram…
Main politician to nahin, magar ae Subramanian Swamy ko jab se dekha, lagta hai ki bachi kuchi politics bhi chali jaayegi…

Pawar…
Main politician to nahin, main billionaire bhi nahin, main BCCI main bhi koi nahin, in fact main kuch bhi nahin…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

These are the sounds of silence…

Anna Hazare finally breaks his maun vrat!

Now all eyes on Manmohan Singh to do the same…

P.S. Sonia Gandhi ko publicly last kab kisne bolte suna hai?

P.P.S. Rahul Gandhi kab maun vrat pe ja raha hai?

(And as far as Congress spokespersons are concerned… no that’s asking for a bit too much…)

© Sunil Rajguru