Tag Archives: Petrol Prices

Consolidated petrol price hike musings…

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∙ Ye bechara petrol price ka maara,
Ise chahiye Congress se chutkara.

∙ Petrol prices in India don’t need Viagra.
They keep rising all the time no matter what…

∙ Akkad pakkad petrol go, assi nabbe poore sau,
Sau pe keemat lagega jab, sarkar nikalke bhaagega tab.

∙ Overheard…
First person: Someone hit a 6 in the Indian Premier League!
Second person: That’s nothing. The Indian Petrol League just hit a 7.5.

∙ Our demand in one word…
Petrollback!

∙ Ye government sasura bahut eco-friendly hai.
Their aim is to keep as many vehicles off the road as they can.

∙ India’s new mascot is Johnnie Walker.
And hence the new slogan is “Keep Walking”.

∙ Old: Don’t Drink and Drive.
New: Drink, but don’t Drive.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Said and unsaid…

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What Rahul told the voters of UP: How long will you have to continue begging?
What he meant: How long will I have to continue begging for Prime Ministership?

What the official said over 2G: The Rs 1.76 lakh crore figure is grossly inflated.
What he meant: The intense pressure from the Centre has squeezed and flattened the actual amount.

What Maya said: I am dividing UP into four states.
What she meant: Is Congress the only empire? Why can’t I “Divide and Rule” and have a Mayawi empire?

What happened: Petrol prices cheaper by Rs 2.
What it means: Two steps backward and two steps forward. True progress, India ishtyle!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How petrol prices in India defy gravity…

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Crude oil price up… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Crude oil price down… Stay put! Stay put!

Government needs money… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Government doesn’t need money… Stay put! Stay put!

Oil companies have subsidy problem… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Oil companies have no subsidy problem… Stay put! Stay put!

Oil companies make losses… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Oil companies make profits… Stay put! Stay put!

The price of everything is going up… Hike prices! Hike prices!
The price of everything is going down… Stay put! Stay put!

Demand greater that supply… Hike prices! Hike prices!
Supply greater that demand… Stay put! Stay put!

No price hike for ages… Hike prices! Hike prices!
No substantive petrol price cut ever… Stay put! Stay put!

Everything that goes up must come down?
Ha ha! You haven’t met the wizards in the Indian oil industry yet!

© Sunil Rajguru