Cosolidated Mahashatak postings down the ages…

On the anniversary of Sachin Tendulkar’s 99th Century and his wait for the 100th international hundred, also called the Mahashatak, my complete blogs on the issue…

The Sachin Tendulkar “99To100 Era”…

Mission 100th 100 Scorecard for die-hard Sachin Tendulkar fans

Aayega Aayega Aanewala Shatak Aayega

Woh maarega Mahashatak ek din…

Sachin Mahashatak in Hollywood titles

4 reasons why Sachin has still not scored his Mahashatak…

Sachin Mahashatak musings…

Some Sachin Mahashatak musings…

Sachin more Mahashatak musings…

Consolidated Mahashatak musings down the ages…

Consolidated Mahashatak musings down the ages…

∙ C… Speed of light… Cosmic speed limit… Nothing can cross it… not even light…
100C… Cricketing speed limit… Nothing can touch it… not even God…

∙ Mahashatak to Sachin… Tu jahaa jahaa chalegaa, mera saayaa saath hogaa…

∙ ABCD of Sachin’s Mahashatak misses…
Sachin has missed his 100th 100 at Ahmedabad, Birmingham, Chennai and Delhi…
(Now let’s hope he doesn’t go all the way from E to Z!)

∙ Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Mahashatak.
Mahashatak who?
My shatak when, where and how???

∙ Happy First Anniversary to Sachin’s 99th International 100.
Will you have many more?

∙ Sachin will probably retire on an innings of 99 not out and then retire from international cricket to prove a point.
(Even if that takes two years!)

∙ How will the great man’s career end?
Sachin: 100*.
Sachin: 99, Retired Hurt.

∙  Jab tak sooraj chand rahaega,
Mahashatak tu aata aata… aata hi rahega…

∙ The Mahashatak solution…
Include First Class centuries as part of the equation.
Voila! He scored his Mahashatak ages ago!
Next step, include his school and other unofficial centuries.
Aila! He has scored 200 centuries.
Then the question will automatically become…
When will he score his 300th century?

∙ Q: What’s common to R Ashwin, Tino Mawoyo and Kirk Edwards?
A: None of them even debuted in Tests when Sachin scored his 99th century and all of them scored a Test 100 before Sachin’s 100th.

∙ Sachin Mahashatak Obscure Fact #23…
Even the Capital of Delhi has hit a 100 before him…

∙ Has anyone else noticed that the Aishwarya-Abhishek Bachchan child was probably conceived about a month before Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th Century?
(Section: Amazing Facts about the Mahashatak)

∙ Sachin has been stranded on his 99th international century for ages now. But that’s normal. He always spends a lot of time in the nervous nineties.

∙ Old Saying: Delhi door hai.
New Saying…
Sachin ka sauwa shatak door hai.

∙ Whenever the Little Master nears a landmark, we have a string of nervous failures.
After the Landmark, we have a flurry of confident centuries.
How many Landmarks does a man need, before he looks at just the team scoreboard?

∙ Tendulkar Mahashatak Trivia No. 23: The bowlers purposely leaked runs to ensure that Sachin would get a large enough target to score his 100th international hundred.

∙ Tan-ta-na! Tondulkar gaya Tel lene, Tonting bhi aa gaya.
Looks like Hell will Freeze over before the Mahashatak.

© Sunil Rajguru

General musings for the day…

∙ Happy First Anniversary to Sachin’s 99th International 100.
Will you have many more?
(Mark your calendar for March 12, 2012)

∙ Sachin will probably retire on an innings of 99 not out and then retire from international cricket to prove a point.
(Even if that takes two years!)

∙ It was probably match-fixing between BCCI and Sahara…
Pehele inkaar, phir pyaar.

∙ If Behenji, Amma and Didi get together, then the acronym will be BAD… hmmm…

∙ Old saying: The last straw on the camel’s back.
New saying: The last nuke on the world’s back.
Reference: The alarming danger of Iran building their First Nuke which will probably happen to be the 31,234th nuke built in the world.

∙ Strange UPA mathematics…
(272 Lok Sabha Seats=Half-way mark.)
114 Seats=Out of power.
145 Seats=Shaky power for 5 years.
206 Seats=License for Dictatorship.

© Sunil Rajguru

Woh maarega Mahashatak ek din…

Sachin Tendulkar will definitely score his 100th international 100 one day…

Please sing to the tune of Hum honge kamyab

Woh maarega Mahashatak,
Woh maarega Mahashatak,
Woh maarega Mahashatak ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai Vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Woh maarega Mahashatak ek din.

Chup baithenge critics charo aur,
Chup baithenge critics charo aur,
Chup baithenge critics charo aur ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai Vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Chup baithenge critics charo aur ek din.

Woh retire karega Mahashatak ke saath,
Mahashatak aur Sachin honge haathon main haath
Woh retire karega Mahashatak ke saath ek din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Woh retire karega Mahashatak ke saath ek din.

Nahi darr kisi nervous 90s ka aaj,
Nahi bhay kisi nervous 90s ka aaj,
Nahi darr kisi nervous 90s ka aaj ke din,
Ho ho ho mann main hai vishwas,
Poora hai vishwas,
Nahi darr kisi nervous 90s ka aaj ke din.

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Some more Mahashatak musings…

Mahashatak conspiracy theory #46…
Michael Clarke declared early so that there was enough time for Sachin to score his 100th 100 as there is forecast of rain.

Mahashatak Fact #67
After Sachin hit his 99th international century, more than 100 international centuries were scored in 2011.
In fact two Tests began on January 3, 2012 and yielded six centuries in three days.

Mahashatak meaningless jingle #22
Shatak bhatak gaya hai… Mahabhatak…
Shatak latak gaya hai… Mahalatak…
Shatak atak gaya hai… Maha-atak…

© Sunil Rajguru

The Sachin Tendulkar “99To100 Era”…

So much time is passing between Sachin’s 99 and 100th international century, that we can now officially call it the “99To100 Era”.

Let’s take a look at the earth-shattering events have already taken place in this Era so far…

India wins World Cup after 28 years… Osama finally captured and killed… Gaddafi toppled and killed after 42 years… Left rule ends in West Bengal after 34 years… Anna Hazare Lokpal Revolution… Djokovic becomes No. 1 to end Federer-Nadal Era … F1 comes to India… Amitabh becomes grandfather… Will-Kat wedding… Indian bowler takes fiver and scores century in Test after 40 years… The following people pass away… Sathya Sai Baba, Steve Jobs, MAK Pataudi, Jagjit Singh, Bhupen Hazarika, Shammi Kapoor, Joe Frazier, MF Hussain, Elizabeth Taylor, Amy Winehouse, Suresh Tendulkar…

Sachin Mahashatak Misses #16 & #17
Fact of the day: There have been close to 75 international centuries after Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th international century.
Thought of the day: Will Sachin at least hit the world’s 100th international century after his own 99th?

Sidelight of India-West Indies Third Test at Wankhede Stadium:

The amazing consistency of R Ashwin…
Day 4: Hum match haar rahe hain!
Ashwin: Don’t worry main draw karata hu…
Day 5: Hum match jeet rahe hain!
Ashwin: Don’t worry main draw karata hu…

© Sunil Rajguru

Sachin Mahashatak in Hollywood titles

Damn99! … How Rampaul Stole the Mahashatak … The Day the Stadium Stood Still … Players of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Mahashatak … Close Encounters of the 99 Kind … Mission: Impossible 100 … Transformers: Turning 99 into 100 … The Lost World: Century Park … SRT and the Last Century Crusade … 99 is Not Enough … Catch the Mahashatak if You Can … Gone in 1 Ball … District 99… Mahashatak Wars: The Bowler Strikes Back … Dr. Shataklove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the 99th Century … Dial 100 for Nirvana …

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Aayega Aayega Aanewala Shatak Aayega

An existential question is whether the Mahashatak really exists… or is it just a myth… a legend… a figment of somebody’s imagination…

A theme song for Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th international hundred…

Please sing to the tune of Aayega aayega aanewala aayega from Mahal…

Aayega aayega aayega,
Aayega aanewala shatak, aayega aayega aayega,
Mahashatak bagair kaise ye din hi kat rahe hain,

Out nahin hai phir bhi, unglee uth rahe hai,
Tadpega koi kab tak beshatak besahaare,
Tadpega koi kab tak beshatak besahaare,
Lekin ye kahe rahe hain dil ke mere ishaare,
Aayega aayega aayega,
Aayega aanewala shatak, aayega aayega aayega.

Bhatki hui form manzil ko dhoondti hai,
Maheeno rashtra ki ruh shatak ko dhoond rahi hai,
Kya jaane uska balla kab tak lage kinaare,
Lekin ye kahe rahe hain dil ke mere ishaare,
Aayega aayega aayega,
Aayega aane waala shatak, aayega aayega aayega aayega.
..

(Original Song: Aayega aayega aanewala aayega.
Film: Mahal.
Year: 1949)

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

4 reasons why Sachin has still not scored his Mahashatak…

So it’s been close to 250 days since Sachin Tendulkar scored his 99th international century, but the 100th (the Mahashatak) eludes him.

4 reasons why this could be happening…

1. The number of prayers that have reached God have crashed the Prayer Counter. It is unable to handle such a record number of prayers. Either that or the counter is such that the moment it receives 1 billion prayers for a single event, the counter sets back to zero.

2. After winning the World Cup final, Indian cricket is passing through an extraordinarily long  Rahukaalam. That’s why (less importantly) India got thrashed 0-4 in England and (more importantly) Sachin’s Mahashatak eludes him. The country’s top astrologers are calculating when this dark period will come to an end.

3. When Sachin got up in the morning his Facebook notification told him that it was World Kindness Day today. (It was actually set to Pacific Standard Time, which is time, which is 13.30 hours behind IST). He sub-consciously decided to be kind to the West Indies team. (And this is how they repaid him?)

4. The collective thoughts, aspirations worries, tensions and fears of millions and millions of Indian fans is warping the very spacetime around Sachin, thereby creating a disturbance in the force that will create the Mahashatak.

© Sunil Rajguru

Sachin Mahashatak musings…

(Mahashatak = Sachin Tendulkar’s 100th International Century)

∙ It has been 243 days since Sachin last scored a century.
At this rate, he will celebrate two birthdays in 2012.
One is on April 24 when he turns 38.
But before that will be March 12, when the Mahashatak Quest turns One!

Crore-o logon ki nazar Sachin ke Mahashatak par hain.
Aila, nazar lag gayi!

∙ Sachin ka sauwa shatak gaya tel lene has a new meaning with some people speculating that petrol prices will touch Rs 100 a litre before the Mahashatak happens!

∙ Someone please organize a Bangladesh-Zimbabwe-India ODI triangular series and Sachin can score his 100th ton and we all can quietly move on in life and cricket.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru