Monthly Archives: November 2015

Raj karega Lalu aur uska pariwar

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Modi: Mere paas roads hai, power hai, FDI hi, toilets hai, foreign tours hai, OROP hai… tere paas kya hai?
Lalu: Mere paas biwi, beta, beti aur sabse keemti secularism hai!

If industrialists’ kids goof up, business goes bust.
Bollywood star kids still have to work very hard.
Army officers’ kids still have to clear SSB and training.
But politician’s kids may fail, laze around, make complete asses of themselves and still be successful!
‪#‎NauviFailDyCM‬ ‪#‎Pappu‬

Chief Minister Nitish Kumar set out to be Prime Minister in 2013.
His journey has ended up with him being Half Chief Minister in 2015.
‪#‎LaluRajWapsi‬

After ‪#‎BearHug‬…
Kejri—Main Delhi ko Bihar kaise banau?
Lalu—Chinta mat kar bete, tum sahi raaste pe chal rahe ho!

Modi: I’ll give you development.
Nitish: I’ll give you Lalu.
Lalu: I’ll give you ‪#‎JungleRaj‬ & ‪#‎NauSikhiyaDyCM‬.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬: Wheeeee!!!!!! Lalu rocks!

2006: A = IITian Revenue officer.
2007: B = TV star.
2008: C = Delhi Daredevils player.
2015…
A = Chief Minister.
B = Cabinet Minister.
C = Deputy Chief Minister.

Congress launches the JP Movement in States like Tamil Nadu and now Bihar.
From now on it will be the JP effect everywhere.
(JP=Junior Partner)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri-Lalu bhai bhai…

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Kejri took so many U-turns that he came back to where he started.
Then he did the above so many times he became a roundabout.
Now he’s measured by revolutions per minute (rpm).

Kejri was a disaster as CM in 2014.
He then got 67 seats.
Kejri is a bigger disaster in 2015.
He will now get 70/70 seats.
‪#‎LaluBearHug‬

#‎AccheDin‬ for…
Kejri, he’s a VVIP.
Lalu, he’s back.
Sonia, so much mileage from 44 seats.
Pappu, despite infinite failures, he’s still around.
Media, still attacking Modi 24X7 and not doing real stories.

Spot the difference…
He gave bribe. I didn’t ask for it.
—Corrupt official.
I didn’t hug Lalu. He pulled and hugged me.
—Kejri.

Biggest enemy for Delhi Police…
2011—Corrupt.
2012—Rapists.
2013—Match-fixers.
2014—Kejri.
2015—AAP MLAs.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why is your display picture…

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Why did you change your display picture to France when the tragedy happened and not Lebanon?

OK, Lebanon.

Why not Syria, which is forgotten by everyone?

OK, Syria?

Why not Iraq which is totally busted?

Why not Nigeria where Boko Haram is active?

Why not Palestine?

Why not Afghanistan?

Why not…

Why not…

Why not India, since you happen to be from India? Hundreds get killed, beaten and raped every month? Are those lives any less precious?

Actually every country faces the same problem so…

So why not change your DP to the globe which is full of suffering everywhere?

Actually everyone having that DP would be silly, so please revert to your original DP.

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi haters ka Raj abhi bhi chal raha hai…

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I am the 100% man!
100% chamchagiri to the Dynasty.
100% enmity to Modi.
100% uselessness to India.
100% usefulness to media.
—Mani Shankar Aiyar.

1 Mukhauta: Hardline Vajpayee pretending to be liberal.
1000 Mukhautas: Hardline supporters of Mao, Stalin, Naxalism, Congress-CPM violence pretending to be liberal.
‪#‎AdarshLiberal‬

Many Assembly polls till 2019, so more potential ‪#‎AwardWapsis‬.
If Congress returns to power they can have grand ceremony to return returned awards called ‪#‎AwardWapsiWapsi‬.

Whisper something bad against Modi and it becomes the lead.
Deliver a ton of evidence against the Dynasty and it mysteriously disappears.

Shastri cleared Nehru’s mess for Indira.
Rao-Vajpayee cleared Indira-Rajiv’s mess for Sonia.
Modi clearing Sonia’s mess for Pappu?
‪#‎NehruGandhiDynasty‬

Most Indian anchors are far more courteous, friendly and encouraging to Pakistani India haters in TV studios than they are to BJP leaders.

#‎ChurchAttack‬, ‪#‎LalitGate‬, ‪#‎AwardWapsi‬ etc is nothing but a dress rehearsal for the 2019 general elections by all Modi Haters.

A lot of Indian politicians believe in Swiss banks, Pakistani hospitality, Bangladeshi vote banks and Chinese style Communism.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu ban gaya #BritishBuddhu gentleman…

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Pappu’s computer…
Indan.
Spellcheck suggestions…
British.
Italian.
Infant.
Inane.
Indent.

3 types of people in this country.
1. Corrupt.
2. Keeping quiet about corruption.
3. Subramanian Swamy.

Indian National Congress was started by a Britisher (AO Hume).
It will be finished off by another Britisher (Pappu).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Raj karega #BritishBuddhu…

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Live in India.
Work in UK.
Vacation in Spain.
Holiday in Bangkok.
Ancestors from Italy.
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬ = ‪#‎GlobalCitizen‬

Modi—Make in India!
Pappu—Ja be! I’ll…
Make in UK.
Make in Thailand.
Make in Spain.
Make in Italy.

Mera sair sapata hai Thai,
Ye nagarikta Englishtani,
Sar main laal buddhi Roosi,
Fir bhi dil hai Hindustani!

1989 Indian Express cartoon on Rajiv was titled…
How many countries can a Prime Minister have?
2015 version…
How many countries can a Prime Ministerial candidate have?

Pre-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Congress leaders launch Swadeshi movement.
Post-Mahatma Gandhi era…
Pappu launches Videshi movement.

If we had UPA3, then the Congress would simply have passed the Double citizenship act and all Congressis would have rushed for British passport.

Q: Please spell Rahul Gandhi.
Swamy: RahUKl GandhItaly!

Backops India was registered in 2002.
Now both Congress and BJP don’t want to talk about 2002!

India is Indira. Indira is India.
Pappu is Prithvi. Prithvi is Pappu.
Stop this UK-Thailand-Spain-Italy nonsense!

1 solid scam against the Nehru-Gandhi Dynasty will get 1/1000th the coverage of a stupid statement made by some random Sangh Pariwar hothead.

Angrez Bharat chhodo!
The slogan that has short circuited Congress leaders.
Because Pappu is an Angrez from Bharat!

Pappu and Lalu will sing after Bihar victory and UK revelations…
Hum sab Britishwa hai.

In UK, he will be known as Lord Pappu the Commoner.

BJP sees Congress getting everything on platter and gets angry.
But when it gets something on a platter, it walks away.

Hum Angrezo ke zamaane ke politician hai, ha ha!
‪#‎BritishBuddhu‬

So what?
Even Mahatma Gandhi and Jawaharlal Nehru were once subjects of both India and the British Empire!

After close to 70 years of Independence, Congrez have become the new Angrez.
#BritishBuddhu

These versions by Sunil Rajguru