…after he became Prime Minister of India…

1. Denial: He can’t have been elected. Just 28% voted for him. That’s not fair! There’s been some mistake. This can’t be happening. Why have the voters been fooled like this?

2. Anger: He’s a dictator who will destroy India. There will be Emergency. He will turn India into a Fascist State! There will be no rights for anyone. Freedom of speech and expression won’t exist! Protest! Rant! Rage!

3. Bargaining: We will accept him if he does this, this, this, this and this and this and…this and this and…

4. Depression: The current status where all the Modi haters are trying to get out of their depression by doing crazy things. The delusional media is manufacturing outright lies, obsessed activists and so-called intellectuals are trying to trivialize his every move and a schizophrenic dichotomy is being created where in the real world he’s doing pretty well but in the virtual world he’s already a total disaster.

5. Acceptance: Will come only if Modi is re-elected in 2019—Till then it’s only depression and depression.

© Sunil Rajguru

Media logic…
Priyanka—0 achievements + 0 posts = 100% respect.
But Modi—Spectacular self-made rise from chaiwallah to PM = 0% respect.
If Vadra is corrupt, then it is totally unrelated to Priyanka.
But when it comes to Modi, he’s even responsible for all anonymous Twitter trolls.

The devaluation of the allegations…
2002—Modi is guilty of Godhra riots!
2004—Modi is guilty of a fake encounter!
2013—Modi is guilty of snooping!
2014—Modi is guilty of wearing expensive clothes!
2015—Modi is guilty of popularizing selfies!

Sushma/Vasundhara helped me—Lalit Modi.
= Sparta! 20 day non-stop screaming shouting witch hunt.
Sonia family asked me for $60 million bribe—Lalit Modi.
= 20 minute of shivering with fear followed by infinite silence.
‪#‎ArnabGate‬

They would tell you…
Those who virulently abuse Modi are neutral.
Those who mildly criticize the First Family are biased, agenda-driven and should shut up.

For every 1000 Congress scams, media will shout at Sonia zero times.
For every 0.0001 BJP scams, media will shout at Modi a million times.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

According to the Oxford dictionary the following is not Hinglish but 100% perfect English…
Arre yaar, let’s have our favourite papad, chicken curry followed by a chotta peg at the dhaba.
Pukka!
By the way your wife’s churidar avatar looked great at the bhelpuri party.

(June 26)

Maybe…
BCCI official 1: With the way India is playing, they’ll lose to Zimbabwe too!
Official 2: OK! Let’s call off the tour!

(June 22)

Hum bhi kucch kam nahin…
Attacking batsman + part-time bowler + acting captain + stand-in wicketkeeper.
‪#‎ViratKohli‬ ‪#‎IndVsBan‬

Incredible India…
While the poor starve, millions of tonnes of grain rot at godowns.
While middle class craves Maggi noodles—tonnes of it is destroyed in cement kilns.

(June 18)

In terms if population…
7800 Guams = 1 India.
1 Guam football team > 1 India football team.

Reporter: Do you have a law and order problem in UP?
Akhilesh: No problem! Mulayam ka law hai aur Azam ka order. Dono first class chal rahe hai!

News: Taj Mahal to have WiFi.
Analysis: Taj Selfies will travel with greater speed and flood the Internet.

No-one takes Page 3 journalism seriously.
(Since Page 1 & 2 are ads, the Front Page is the new Page 3.)

(June 16)

Ali Fazal became the first Indian to be part of the Hollywood $1 billion club.
‪#‎Furious7‬
Irrfan Khan will be the second.
‪#‎JurassicWorld‬

(June 15)

Fall of Nitish Kumar…
1975-77: Fighting dictatorship.
2013: Fighting for PMship.
2014: Fighting for CMship.
2015: Fighting for fruit tree ownership.
‪#‎Manjhi‬

(June 4)

© Sunil Rajguru