Monthly Archives: November 2016

The Congress and #Demonetization

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Think it over…
In 1954 Nehru introduced the super high Rs 10,000 note for a poor India.
That would have helped the corrupt rich or ordinary citizens?

There have been three demonetizations.
1946.
1978.
2016.
What is common to all three?
Congress was not in charge.
That itself tells the story.

1954—Congress Finance Minister introduces whopping Rs 10,000 note.
2016—After tonnes of inflation, ex-Congress Finance Minister puzzled at Rs 2,000 note.
#Chidu

Sonia presides over a 100 scams.
Everyone’s happy with her.
Modi does a 100 good things.
24X7 attacks and analysis of how he’ll lose 2019 for actually doing good!

Pappu’s shoot and scoot politics explained with lyrics of Oye Oye’s Tridev (1989)…
Gali gali main firta hai tu kyun banke banjara…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

So #Demonetization has hit them really really hard

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Mr India, 2016.
Mogambo enters India, vows destruction.
#Demonetization happens.
Mogambo’s black money wiped out, flees India.
The End.

TV news.
20% coverage = All the benefits, pitfalls and long-term implications of #Demonetization.
80% coverage = Long queues.

Modi will lose 2002.
Modi will lose 2007.
Modi will lose 2014.
Modi will lose 2019 due to #Demonetization.
Yawn!

Beware!
Modi doesn’t believe in ATM but ATDM.
ATDM = Any Time De-Monetization!

#BewafaSonamGupta nahin, par woh black note tha jispe us ka naam likha tha.
#BewafaSonamGupta ek thi, par bewafa black note lakhon main hai.

Baad main na kahana kucch bhi,
Pahale hi de doon warning,
Party chalegi till all the corrupt are in mourning,
Abhi to party shuru hui hai!
#KalaDhan

If America did #Demonetization of the $100 bill, forget America, the whole world would descend into chaos.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The pains of #Demonetization

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India hasn’t been Modified yet.
We’re not even halfway there.

ATMs.
Yesterday.
Open… 24 hours.
Today.
Open… Till stocks last!

If today you have a lot of change in the form of Rs 100 notes, then you are a Chhuttapati.

Government should have opened online liquor home delivery stores along with #Demonetisation.
Would have done roaring business.

Hit hard…
Lower/middle class with white money—Short run.
Rich class with black money—Long run.
Managing…
Those with cards/net banking/PayTM.

#Demonetisation for the…
Corrupt—Devastating.
Common man—Long queues.
Bank employees—Long hours.
Online companies—Growth!
Opposition—Ammo to attack.

Yesterday…
Beggar to common man—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!
Today…
Common man to bank—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!

We need an odd even scheme in banks.
On odd days you can deposit.
On even days you can withdraw.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Why the Middle East problem is so complicated…

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jerusalem-1712855_6401. Palestinians are boxed in by Israelis.
2. Israelis are boxed in by Islamic nations.
3. Islamic nations are taken for a ride by America.
4. America does great trade with countries like Saudi Arabia; gives great political and military support to Israel and has been a victim of Islamic terrorism.

1. Israel was carved out of Mandatory Palestine in 1948.
2. Mandatory Palestine was carved out of Ottoman Southern Syria in 1920.

1. Israel snatched East Jerusalem from Jordan.
2. Both Israel (West) and Jordan (East) snatched it from the British who wanted it under the UN.
3. The British snatched Jerusalem from the Ottoman Empire.

© Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Trump triumph musings…

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If__doesn’t win then supporters won’t accept it, ask to secede, riot in the streets and threaten rival supporters with violence.
Media— __=Trump.
Reality = Hillary.

Hillary most reckless over classified info.
Obama wrecked Middle East, baited Putin.
DNC rigged the primaries.
But Trump’s the danger guy!

American media never learns.
They’ve started attacking Trump from Day 1.
His supporters will only become more strong.

The media totally conned Hillary supporters into thinking that she would get a landslide.
Being royally duped is also part of their rage.

Less educated vote for Democrats.
Media—The masses prefer Democrats.
Less educated vote for Republicans.
Media—The ignorant prefer Republicans.

In India, the media is petrified of hearing…
Sonia is unhappy.
In America, the media is petrified of hearing…
Hillary is unhappy.

Go figure…
1984—Mondale with 40.6% popular vote got 2.4% of Electoral College.
1992—Clinton with just 43% popular vote got 68.7% of electoral college.

It’s not black and white…
Hillary started her political career as a Republican and ended up as a Democrat.
Trump started his political career as a Democrat and ended up as a Republican.

Fact of the day…
5 of the 7 US Presidents from 1981-2017 either Democrats or ex-Democrats.
D: #Obama #Clinton #Carter
Ex-D: #Reagan #Trump

Chelsea Clinton Director in IAC.
IAC has Daily Beast brand.
Daily Beast merged with Newsweek.
Newsweek shipped “Madam Clinton” edition announcing her victory in advance.
Why are you surprised?

#TrumpEffect
Headed straight for the dustbin…
#Obamacare
#TPP
#ClimateChange
#PoliticalCorrectness
#Liberals
#MainstreamMedia
#ObamaLegacy

If Angela Merkel and François Hollande want to win next year—they should start mouthing…
#AbkiBaarAngelaSarkaar
and
#AbkiBaarHollandeSarkaar

America is yet to elect a woman or the descendant of a slave as President.

#IndianAdarshLiberal
Hide violence of Congress/CPM/RJD/SP/TMC.
Focus on BJP rhetoric 24X7.
#USAdarshLiberal
Hide violence of Hillary supporters.
Focus on Trump rhetoric 24X7.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General random political musings…

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2014…
Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojana.
2016…
Pradhan Mantri Kala Dhan Yojana.

Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
#Dharmendra1988 #Modi2016

#AdarshLiberal
If India is bad, you will support Pakistan?
If Capitalism is bad, you will support Communism?
If Indian Army is bad, you will support terrorists?

#Pappu
2000s: Angry young man.
2010s: Angry middle-aged man.
2020s: Angry old man.
2030s: Angry retired man.

#Dharmendra1988
Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
Kejri: Replace paap with New Delhi.
Lalu: Bihar for me.
Didi: 2 changes, West Bengal and last letter i.

Bihar’s MahaGatbandhan cannot be replicated in Uttar Pradesh.
It will become MahaGadbad.

Eat in a Dalit’s hut.
Take a few months off.
Travel in a Mumbai local.
Take a few months off.
Stand in an ATM queue.
Take a few months off.
#PappuPolitics

The glorious 2010s…
___got re-elected and destroyed___
1. Laloo-Bihar.
2. Mulayam-UP.
3. Kejri-Delhi.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me a million times since 1947 and you’re the Indian Left and I’m an ordinary citizen.

In cricketing parlance, Modi is a captain who has won the World Cup while Pappu is still on the benches of a Ranji team.
Media will equalize them in 2019.

All Congress spokespersons get up every morning with the same thought.
How do I rubbish Modi’s achievements today?

Past tense…
Modi has won many times.
Present tense…
Modi is winning everything.
Future tense…
Modi will lose each and every time.
#Haters

These versions by Sunil Rajguru