Monthly Archives: May 2014

Yet more 2014 Congress debacle musings…

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The Congress is called the Grand Old Party of India.
It has been decided forthwith to drop the word “Grand” from the nickname.

The Dynasty-Congress equation is like Hotel California…
You can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave!
#QueenSonia #YuvrajPappu

Amit Shah = 73 seats.
Sonia + Pappu + Pappini = 44 seats.
Forget Modi—try to match up to Shah!

The Congress has totally cleared Sonia and Pappu of the party’s worst show ever.
They have totally blamed Modi instead.

Congress and its stooges…
Arrogant in victory.
Arrogant in defeat.
Arrogant after landslide.
Arrogant after being massacred.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More 2014 Congress debacle musings…

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Leaving BJP, only 7 parties reached double digits.
This is a Snow White (Modi) and the 7 Dwarves (Sonia, Jaya, Mamata, Naveen, Uddhav, Naidu, KCR) Lok Sabha.

A full revamp in the Congress is on the cards…
New designations…
Sonia: Senior President.
Pappu: Senior Vice President.
Pappini: Acting Associate Vice President.

2002: Modi should resign.
2014: 2002 people may have to resign because of Modi.

Ability…
If Nehru = 100%.
Indira = 50%.
Rajiv = 25%.
Sonia = 12.5%.
Rahul = 6.25%.
Coming soon…
Priyanka = 3.125%.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 Congress debacle musings…

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Osho’s epitaph…
Never born, never died—Only visited this planet Earth between December 11, 1931 and January 19, 1990.
Manmohan’s epitaph…
Never sworn in, never sworn out—Only visited the PMO between May 22, 2004 and May 17, 2014.

Observe…
Two minutes silence for the Congress.
Two minutes speech for Manmohan.

Pappu: We are a pro-poor party.
Voter: You are a poor party.

2014…
Pappu lao, Congress dubao.
2019…
Pappini lao, Congress dubao.
Dare to think beyond the dynasty?

Song…
Where’s the party tonight?
Swann Song…
Where’s the Congress party, no fight?

Q: Will you resign?
Pappu: I resigned to my fate long back.
Q: What about your PM dreams?
A: PM? I prefer just dreams.

1991—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
1998—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
2004—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
2014—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
#Congress #Sonia

Pappu: We are India’s default programme.
Voter: Arre pahale kyun nahin bataya! Chalo naya programma install karta hu. Thanks Pappu!

In a parallel universe, #AbkiBaarPappuSarkaar has won and India has been Pappufied.

Problem…
Pappu lao Congress dubao.
Solution…
Pappini lao poori tarah se Congress dubao.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 general elections results musings…

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171 million people voted for the BJP.
That’s a new world record.
Congress 2009: 153 million.
Obama 2008: 69 million.

80 million people watched Kolaveri D on YouTube.
135 million Indians watched the 2011 World Cup cricket final.
171 million Indians voted for the BJP in 2014.

Directions from the 2014 electorate…
No Left turns and U-turns.
Turn Right and keep straight.

Bees Saal Baad finally gets a sequel.
Greatest mandate since 1984 or…
Tees Saal Baad.

End of the Lohiaites?
LS Seats: Mulayam (5), Laloo (5), Nitish (2), Ajit (0).
(Paswan: 0 in 2009, survives with the help of Modi in 2014)

PM pretenders…
Pappu: No numbers even for Opposition Leader.
Kejri: No entry to Lok Sabha.
Nitish: 2 seats.

Making chai for The Wife.
She came tired from office and said…
Chaiwallah Pradhan Mantri bana hai, kamse kam chai to bana do!

2002-14: Blow to Modi.
2014: Blow to Modi Haters.

Strange Indian TV channels…
He’ll be sacked as CM.
He’ll lose as CM.
He’ll never be PM candidate.
BJP will just fall short.
May 16: We were right! We were right! We were right!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ban gaya Modi sarkaar musings…

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Na billi hai na parcha hai,
Bas Modi ka hi charcha hai,
Ye desh ke liye accha hai,
Ye solah aane saccha hai.

This was the biggest polarization event in the history of Independent India.
The people were on one side.
The intellectuals, MSM, liberals and pseudo-seculars were on the other side.

In the world of Indian TV channels and Time magazine, Kejriwal has won 300 Lok Sabha seats.
In the real world however, he couldn’t make it to double digits.

Kerala…
Highest divorce rate.
Highest suicide rate.
Highest Congress Lok Sabha seat win rate.

All the Congress CMs have offered to resign. What about you?
Sonia-Pappu: We can’t do that. The Dynasty is of divine origin.

The Modi hater…
The Congress lost.
Kejriwal didn’t win.
The people were polarized.
Modi is lucky and he is in for trouble.

Amit Shah has more brains than Sonia, Pappu and Pappini combined.
Modi is way outta their league.

Modi haters get a new mission.
To undermine the office of the PMO.

Voters’ final message…
So called secular parties are communal.
So called communal party is development party.

Q1: Will the Congress rule?
Q2: Will the Third Front rule?
Q3: Will the Congress and Third Front join hands?
A: The Congress has become the Third Front.

Congress is a regional party.
BJP UP is bigger than Congress India in terms of Lok Sabha seats.

Modi+: Triple Century.
Pappu+: Half-century.
Kejriwal: Single digits.
Yet for the mainstream media, all three were the same.

Congress: #MissionSaveDynasty
D4: #Mission160
Modi: #Mission272
Goal-setting is the most important thing.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The (Mo)D-Day is finally here…

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Modi’s success is one-third ability (proved as CM) + one-third hard work (stunning electoral campaign) + one-third sheer luck (countless Congress self-goals).

Abki baar Modi sarkaar,
Agli baar bhi Modi sarkaar,
Pappu ko dikhao bahaar jaane ka dwaar.

Other battles won…
Right beats Left.
SM beats MSM.
Development beats pseudo-secularism.
Experience beats inexperience.

Today the biggest self-fulfilling prophesy of India has come true.
#ModiHaters

(If he delivers)
Tallest BJS/BJP leaders…
1. Modi.
2. Vajpayee.
3. Mookerjee.
4. Advani.
5. Upadhyaya.

Lord of the Kings…
2004: Fellowship of the UPA.
2009: The Twin Towers of Sonia and MMS.
2014: Return of the King (Modi).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru