Daily Archives: May 18, 2014

2014 Congress debacle musings…

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Osho’s epitaph…
Never born, never died—Only visited this planet Earth between December 11, 1931 and January 19, 1990.
Manmohan’s epitaph…
Never sworn in, never sworn out—Only visited the PMO between May 22, 2004 and May 17, 2014.

Observe…
Two minutes silence for the Congress.
Two minutes speech for Manmohan.

Pappu: We are a pro-poor party.
Voter: You are a poor party.

2014…
Pappu lao, Congress dubao.
2019…
Pappini lao, Congress dubao.
Dare to think beyond the dynasty?

Song…
Where’s the party tonight?
Swann Song…
Where’s the Congress party, no fight?

Q: Will you resign?
Pappu: I resigned to my fate long back.
Q: What about your PM dreams?
A: PM? I prefer just dreams.

1991—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
1998—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
2004—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
2014—Madam you’re great, please lead us.
#Congress #Sonia

Pappu: We are India’s default programme.
Voter: Arre pahale kyun nahin bataya! Chalo naya programma install karta hu. Thanks Pappu!

In a parallel universe, #AbkiBaarPappuSarkaar has won and India has been Pappufied.

Problem…
Pappu lao Congress dubao.
Solution…
Pappini lao poori tarah se Congress dubao.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

2014 general elections results musings…

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171 million people voted for the BJP.
That’s a new world record.
Congress 2009: 153 million.
Obama 2008: 69 million.

80 million people watched Kolaveri D on YouTube.
135 million Indians watched the 2011 World Cup cricket final.
171 million Indians voted for the BJP in 2014.

Directions from the 2014 electorate…
No Left turns and U-turns.
Turn Right and keep straight.

Bees Saal Baad finally gets a sequel.
Greatest mandate since 1984 or…
Tees Saal Baad.

End of the Lohiaites?
LS Seats: Mulayam (5), Laloo (5), Nitish (2), Ajit (0).
(Paswan: 0 in 2009, survives with the help of Modi in 2014)

PM pretenders…
Pappu: No numbers even for Opposition Leader.
Kejri: No entry to Lok Sabha.
Nitish: 2 seats.

Making chai for The Wife.
She came tired from office and said…
Chaiwallah Pradhan Mantri bana hai, kamse kam chai to bana do!

2002-14: Blow to Modi.
2014: Blow to Modi Haters.

Strange Indian TV channels…
He’ll be sacked as CM.
He’ll lose as CM.
He’ll never be PM candidate.
BJP will just fall short.
May 16: We were right! We were right! We were right!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru