Thoda paisa, thoda khaana…

· The Congress couldn’t score enough poverty reduction schemes by 2014, so it introduced the Duckworth-Lewis method to meet its target.

· Very soon the Congress will declare that it is possible to survive on air alone and declare poverty 100% eradicated.

· Politician to self: Rs 1.76 lakh crore? Not enough. Want more.
Politician to citizen: Rs 33? More than enough!

· Once Raj Babbar was seen as the next Angry Young Man.
If he follows his own theories, he will be nothing but a Hungry Old Man.
‪#‎Rs12‬

· UPA sarkaar ke 12 baj gaye.
#‎RajBabbar‬

· The 2014 strategy…
Poor man: I am voting against the Congress.
Congress: But we have officially made you “not poor”, so vote for us now!

· Planner: How do we remove poverty?
Politician: Poverty hatana hamare haath main nahin hain, par poverty line to hai na? Hata do apne jagah se!
Planner: Gareebi hat gayi!
Politician: New slogan!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Royal Baby musings…

· Fact of the day…
‪#‎RoyalBaby‬ Prince George is son of Prince William who is son of Prince Charles who is son of Prince Philip who is son of late Prince Andrew.

· Prince Charles is 64 and yet to even start ruling as King of England (an irrelevant post anyway) and they’re already worrying about his grandson.

· Prince? Charming!
Now can we get back to normalcy?
‪#‎RoyalBaby‬

· We have a new hair to the throne!
Hair, heir, here, there, where… do you really care?
‪#‎RoyalBaby‬

· Will = 0.01% relevance to the world.
His marriage to Kate = 0.001% relevance.
Their child = 0.0001%. Coverage = 101%.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Unending Congressi musings

· Pappu shows Congress workers a social networking tool called Khidki even as voters are readying to show them the Darwaza.

· The Congress copyrighted Secularism and Socialism in 1947.
That’s why we all can’t criticize it despite its many communal riots, minority appeasements and destruction of the economy…

· I think the Congress is confident because at the very last moment they are getting Dhoni for election campaigning.

· Congress is confident.
2004: UPA1 won for no reason.
2009: UPA2 won for no reason.
2014: So why can’t UPA3 also win for no reason?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Unending Modi musings…

· The sum of India’s foreign policy…
Pakistan terrorist can come to India.
Chinese soldier can come to India.
Bangladeshi citizen can live in India.
Indian Rupee can go to Switzerland.
Modi can’t go to America.

· Gameplan…
Obama ko likho, Advani ko chadao, Ishrat ko martyr banao, Pappu ko PM banao, agencies ko ladao, secularism 24X7 japo… bas Modi ko roko!

· Visa Request bahut suna hai.
But Visa Rejection Request?
It happens only in India.

· MPs to Nehru, 1948: Sir, don’t internationalize the Kashmir issue.
MPs to Manmohan, 2013: Sir, we are internationalizing the Modi issue.

· BJP Lok Sabha seats in 2014…
140: RIP BJP.
160: NDA2 without Modi.
180: Modi PM.
200: ‪#‎BhaagoNaMoAaya‬

· I personally think it’s quite tough for Modi to make PM in 2014.
But he sure has shaken up things and got everyone running for cover!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Twitter-Facebook musings…

· They would like us to believe…
Online anonymous Modi trolls are more dangerous than the alarmingly increasing number offline politicians spewing venom.

· What Facebook says: What’s on your mind?
What Facebook is really saying: So what can you post that will get maximum number likes and comments and engage maximum number of users so that everyone can waste as much time as possible, a scenario that will greatly benefit me?

· If you don’t like their Tweets, unfollow.
If they abuse you, block.
If someone blocks you, good riddance.
Mera Tweet teda hai, par mera hai.

· Wrong analysis: There so much hate on Twitter.
Right analysis: There is so much hate in society and some of it has spilled into Twitter.

· If you follow a 1000 interesting people with Zero followers, you’ll have an extremely rich Twitter feed.
However, some computer algorithm would dismiss you as a fake.

· Cyberspace…
One person’s opinion may be another person’s abuse.
One cause’s crusader may be another cause’s troll.

· If you are fighting any cause noble or ignoble, the trolls will come only from the other side na?
When you pick your side, you pick your trolls too.

· BJP Online: 99% genuine supporters. 1% fake.
Congress online: 1% genuine supporters. 99% fake.
But why 99% focus on BJP’s 1%?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru