Tag Archives: Poverty Line

The poverty of Pappu 2…

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Nehru: We will end poverty and ignorance.
Pappu: Poverty is a state of mind and ignorance is bliss.

Descartes’ mantra to humanity…
I think therefore I am.
Pappu’s mantra to the poor…
I think I am rich therefore I am.

I think the time has come for someone to write the ultimate Indian joke book: Thus Spake Pappu or PappuShastra or ‪#‎PappuNama‬…

The thin line between Confidence and No Confidence has just been renamed the Poverty Line.
‪#‎PappuBoltaHai‬

The “poor” have been officially redesignated as simply those who “lack confidence” and thereby the Congress has finally achieved its goal of 100% poverty eradication in India.
‪#‎GareebiHatGayi‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Utopia to UPAtopia…

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Q: How many poor mouths will the UPA feed from now on?
A: None. They will simply shift the poverty line again and declare “Zero” numbers of poor!

Q: How is the middle class doing?
A: Great. They get to eat a full hearty meal in Re 1. That means great savings for everything else.

Q: What about the upper classes?
A: Well since they are still in the upper classes, they are doing pretty well thank you. Why are you asking?

Q: What about the scams, terror threats and enemies like Pakistan and China?
A: Were you sleeping? I just answered the above questions showing that all three classes are doing well! Who’s left? Everyone is happy. If there’s still a further problem, we can declare everything “Zero loss”.

Q: So we have reached Utopia?
A: Yes, you could call it UPAtopia.

(Arthath, “UPA” ne sab ko “topi” pahanaya)

© Sunil Rajguru

Thoda paisa, thoda khaana…

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· The Congress couldn’t score enough poverty reduction schemes by 2014, so it introduced the Duckworth-Lewis method to meet its target.

· Very soon the Congress will declare that it is possible to survive on air alone and declare poverty 100% eradicated.

· Politician to self: Rs 1.76 lakh crore? Not enough. Want more.
Politician to citizen: Rs 33? More than enough!

· Once Raj Babbar was seen as the next Angry Young Man.
If he follows his own theories, he will be nothing but a Hungry Old Man.
‪#‎Rs12‬

· UPA sarkaar ke 12 baj gaye.
‪#‎RajBabbar‬

· The 2014 strategy…
Poor man: I am voting against the Congress.
Congress: But we have officially made you “not poor”, so vote for us now!

· Planner: How do we remove poverty?
Politician: Poverty hatana hamare haath main nahin hain, par poverty line to hai na? Hata do apne jagah se!
Planner: Gareebi hat gayi!
Politician: New slogan!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Manmohan Singh’s magic wand…

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Rs 32 per day poverty line limit: Crores become rich overnight.

Alcohol classified as food: Millions of drunkards suddenly become well-fed.

Throw BJP MPs in jail: Voila! Bribe becomes entrapment!

Give dole to crores of villagers for votes: Call it Mahatma Gandhi NREGA.

Squeeze Raja, Maran and Kanimozhi: Take away heat from self and PC.
(“Collective Responsibility” has been dressed with the Cloak of Invisibility)

Note: All tricks learnt at the Hogwash School of Indian Magic.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

A new way to measure wealth in India…

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If you have Rs 33 per day in India, then you are rich.

There are 121 crore Indians.

So with Rs 3993 crores, you can make each and every Indian rich for a day.

A Forbes billionaire can make every Indian rich for approximately a day.

Hasan Ali can make every Indian rich for about a fortnight.

Mukesh Ambani can make every Indian rich for about a month.

The only person who can make India rich for more than one month is Andimuthu Raja.

Bottomline: So how wealthy are you?
That depends on how many Indians you can make rich for how many days.

This version by Sunil Rajguru