Daily Archives: July 24, 2013

How they shift the goalposts when it comes to Modi…

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Activists: Take action during riots! Take action during riots!
Modi enters…
Activists: Action not enough. Own moral responsibility and resign! Get hanged if possible!

Commentators: Save Hindi and other Indian languages. English is spoiling it all.
Modi enters…
Commentators: Ye kya India chalayega? Ye to English bhi nahin jaanta!

Civil society: We need a firm strong iron hand to solve the problems of this country.
Modi enters…
Civil society: Dictator! Fascist! Hitler!

NGOs: There is only one thing that matters. Development. Development. Development.
Modi enters…
NGOs: Shame! His development is not inclusive.

Politicians: Caste equations… blah blah blah… minority votebank… blah blah blah…
Modi enters…
Politicians: Communal! Communal! Communal!

Media: Merchant of death! Fascist! Hitler! Dictator! Communal! Murderer!
Modi gives a speech…
Media: What strong language! He is not fit to rule India!

Political planner: So then let’s spend Rs 100 crore on social media. Great plan!
Modi enters…
Political planner: Fraud! Fake accounts! You can’t win elections via social media!

© Sunil Rajguru

Modi, tere paas kya hai?

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Indian Politician: Mere paas US ka ticket hai, elite institute ka degree hai, fancy English accent hai, exclusive club membership hai, international friend aur contact circle hai, dollars ki dher hai… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Saala ye US Presidential polls hai ki Lok Sabha elections?

Parliament: Mere paas murder accused hai, rape accused hai, 2G scam hai, Coalgate hai, CWG hai, ungineet scams hai, disruption ka power hai, anek walkouts hai, Swiss bank accounts hai, (in fact Sachin Tendulkar bhi hai)… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Aila! Aur aap criminal mujhe bolte hai?

Indian leader: Mere paas caste equations hai, minority votebank hai, regional satraps ka backing hai, pseudo-intellectuals ka fraud secular certificate hai… tere paas kya hai?
Modi: Aur mujhe laga ki 1947 ke baad Constitution ne sab ko equal bana diya… no discrimination on the basis of caste, religion, region…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Can’t visit the US, can’t rest in India…

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· America is the new holy land.
If a particular person steps foot on it, it will become communal.

· Lose Lok Sabha election. Become PM.
Be murder accused. Become MP.
Get elected CM thrice. Get hounded like a common criminal.

· Everyone wants to select/veto Modi as PM.
But in the end that call will be taken by 545 old fogies, one-third of them likely to be chargesheeted, solely based on what “deal” they get.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu can’t rule saala…

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· Pappu to Congressmen: Behave yourselves! We are the most arrogant party in India!
Result: ‪#‎AditiRestaurant‬

· Pappu lives in a magical world and still thinks that India is beautiful…
His theme song…
Udhar tum haseen ho, idhar dil jawaan hai…

· Nirman=Under construction.
The actual slogan is…
Ho Raha Hai Pappu Nirman!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Indian politics…

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· In the world just about anyone can become a politician.
In India, just about anyone has.

· If corruption is eating money.
If India is a restaurant.
Then the citizens of the country are looking at unpaid bills in the region of maybe hundreds of lakh crore Rupees since 1947.
‪#‎AditiRestaurant‬

· Right now Kapil Sibal is reading and re-reading George Orwell’s 1984 and wondering how it can be implemented in India before 2014.

· Pappu + Decent language + Mahatma Gandhi =
Diggy + Tewari + Mani + Jha + Khurshid + Tehseen + Nirupam + Sibal + Renuka + Narayanaswamy + Singhvi.
(Equation balanced)

· The Diggy Raja logic…
For everything wrong with India, A: RSS formed in 1925.
For everything right, A: Congress gave India Independence in 1947.

· MMS has given 1300 “formalities” not “speeches”.
Nation is still waiting for one single straight from the heart sincere speech from him.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru