The Secret Black Book of Narendra Modi…

1. Corporate India objections: Sabse pahale raaste se hat gaye. (Main Development ka baap)

2. State Elections: Raaste se hat gaye, won 3. (Woo hoo!)

3. Courts: Raaste se hat gaye, no convictions till date. (Take that detractors!)

4. Mainstream media: Raaste se hat gaye, now they give me maximum coverage. (Virtually my PR agencies!)

5. RSS: Woh to hamesha mere saath the, log jaante hi nahin. (RSS main pala bada hua hu bhai!)

6. Party politics: Raaste se hat gaya. I am numero uno now. (I love to party in Goa!)

7. Advani: Buddha finally raaste se hat gaya. Irrelevant now. (Hamse jo takrayega…)

8. Nitish: The only other serious NDA PM candidate, raaste se hat gaya. (Bharat chhodo, ab hamare bina Bihar ko sambhaal ke dikha!)

9. Lok Sabha polls campaign: Sab raaste se hat gaye, ab main lead karoonga. (Watch out Sonia-Rahul-MMS!)

10. Lok Sabha seats and allies: <Watch this Space/Coming Soon>

Marji hai aapki, aakhir vote hai aapka…

Confident leader: I will sweep the nation.
Congress leader: I will sweep the floor for Sonia.

Dedicated leader: I will serve the nation.
Congress leader: I will serve the dynasty.

Assuring leader: My party will save the nation.
Congress leader: A 43-year-old with zero governance experience will save the nation.

Ancient Congress PM: Jai Jawan, Jai Kisan.
Modern Congress PM: Theek Hai! (Also refer above)

Sane leader: Our soldiers are ready to die for the country.
Insane Congress leader: Our party soldiers are ready to die for the dynasty.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

I’ve got a thought…
…but will it make a good Facebook status message?

I’ve got an idea…
…but will it be accepted on Twitter?

I have a strong viewpoint on…
…why don’t you blog it and I’ll read it!

This photo is really great and natural…
…but have you photoshopped it yet?

I support this great cause…
…but how many likes has it got?

I’ve got a great resume…
…but can you sell it on Linkedin?

I’ve got a great business idea…
…but will it create a buzz online?

I’ve got a great friend…
…but I’ve not seen him on Facebook!

I usually don’t know where I am…
…why? Don’t you use FourSquare?

Where am I going?
Just check your GPS!

I am dying…
…even that will get a few hundred likes on Facebook!