Monthly Archives: May 2014

Indian Elections 101…

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If Modi works hard to be PM, he’s selfish.
If a dynast gets the PM’s post on a platter, he’s selfless.

If the BJP is ultra-weak, then Congress hegemony is full of love and tenderness.
If the Congress is ultra-weak, then BJP hegemony is Fascist.

If Modi has tremendous experience, then he’s a known devil.
If Pappu has zero experience, then he’s an unknown angel.

If Rajiv is the most popular leader in India in 1984, he’s democratic.
If Modi is the most popular leader in India in 2014, he’s dictatorial.

When polarization helps Congress, it’s called secularism.
When polarization helps BJP, it’s called communalism.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Goodbye Congress musings…

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Goodbye…
UPA2.
MMS.
Sonia.
Goodbye and see you in 5 years…
Mrs Vadra.
Try to stay humble for 5 years …
BJP.
What will you do for 5 years?
Pappu.

In 1919 Motilal became Congress President and formally launched the dynasty.
If Pappu-Pappini lose in 2019 too, then they can put flowers on its tombstone on the Centenary.

Now the entire mainstream media can proudly call themselves anti-establishment.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The sheer brilliance of Pappu the great…

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Q: What is your post?
Pappu: Vice…. errr something.

Q: When will you be PM candidate?
Pappu: Can’t de date.

Q: Your election strategy?
Pappu: It’s been Modified.

Q: Opinion polls?
Pappu: No opinion.

Q: Exit polls?
Pappu: My exit strategy ready.

Q: PM’s farewell dinner?
A: Yes, the PM did not fare well at all. What’s for dinner?

Q: Swearing in ceremony?
Pappu: I will be swearing only.

Q: Leader of the Opposition?
Pappu: I will oppose that too.

Q: Strategy for 2019?
Pappu: 20…??? I can’t even plan 19 minutes into the future!

© Sunil Rajguru

When Pappu skipped the PM’s dinner…

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Pappu is an Indian superhero.
Specifically Mr India.
Invisible during key times like August Kranti agitation and #PappuSkipsPMDinner.

Pappu to MMS: Tumhare ministers ne itna khaaya ki main protest main tumhare dinner main nahin khaaunga.

Out of the country half the time.
Pappu = NRP.
(Non-Resident Politician)

New Congress ad posters for Pappu after May 16…
Main nahin (haara), Hum (haare).

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Sonia-Manmohan Raj ends…

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Leader: Your RS term is coming to an end.
Manmohan: No I’m still a Rajya Sabha MP.
Leader: I meant Rubber Stamp term.
#TheekHai

The Dynasty Trinity…
Jawaharlal: The Creator.
Indira: The Preserver.
Sonia: The Destroyer.

Today…
I&B Minister: We don’t need an I&B Minister.
After May 16…
Sonia: We don’t need a Prime Minister.
P.S. But we didn’t have one from 2004-14.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

It’s the people, not the dynasty, that’s lowering the standards…

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1947…
Let the son of Motilal, who fought for our Independence and was jailed by the British be PM.

1966…
Let the daughter of Jawaharlal, who has just two years’ experience as minister be PM.

1984…
Let the son of Indira, who has just four years party experience and zero government experience be PM.

2019(?)…
Let the daughter of Rajiv, a woman who has all the resources, power and money anyone could dream of but has remained totally unemployed and vella for 25 years be PM.

© Sunil Rajguru