Monthly Archives: August 2013

The poverty of Pappu…

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Pappu says poverty is a state of mind.
Let’s kick the Congress out in 2014.
Then tell him: You are PM! Power is just a state of mind!

Pappu: Poverty is just a state of mind.
Comment: Strange statement coming from a person who has little understanding of both “poverty” and “mind”.
Diggy Raja: In his mind, Pappu is demanding a separate state for poverty.

What if Pappu became a stand-up comedian?
Wait a minute… he already is!
Now all his speeches make perfect sense!

What he actually said…
Poverty is a state (that is here to stay and I’m out of my) of mind.

You should celebrate Friendship/Women’s/Children’s Day 365 days a year.
Like Pappu celebrates April 1 365 days a year.

Rich man: Aaj mere paas building-e hai, property hai, bank balance hai, bangla hai, gaadi hai, kya hai tumhare paas?
Poor man: Errr… errr…
Pappu: State of mind… state of mind…
Poor man: Par mere paas to kuch bhi bahin hai. Khaana bhi nahin hai babu!
Pappu: Confidence… confidence… confidence!!!

P.S.
Dear Congress,
Jab Jab is desh main paap badhega tab tab jokes, memes, doctored pictures, spoofs, cartoons, parodies aur satires badenge.
Learn to live with it!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Ashes and DRS musings…

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DRS is a bit like the movie Inception.
Decisions within decisions.
Technologies within technologies.
You never can be sure of whether the batsman was ever really out or not.

DRS = Decision Review by Schrodinger.
Every decision is out and not out at the same time.

Every decision given by the DRS has a parallel and opposite decision in a parallel universe.

Australia was playing such good Test cricket after ages that the Rain God couldn’t believe it and came to watch.
‪#‎Ashes‬

Pahale Aussies ke dreams ashes ban gaye.
Phir us pe paani pad gaya.
‪#‎Ashes‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Bollywood style musings…

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Imagine all the Bollywood movies you’ve watched in your life.
Now imagine none of the heroes exist, but all the villains do.
Welcome to India!

Since it’s called Krrish 3, the original Krrish becomes the first movie to be retrospectively called its own sequel while Koi… Mil Gaya becomes Krrish 1 even though no Krissh exists in the entire movie.
Confused?
So am I!

One in ten people in the world have probably seen a Bollywood shoot by now.

Looking at politics, films and business in India, anyone can be a politician, Bollywood star or industrialist.
You just have to be born in the right family.

Chennai Express hasn’t even been released and already there are so many memes, spoofs, jokes and comments blasting it!
‪#‎SRK‬

Today any Bollywood superstar could pretend to make a movie, con the industry into buying rights etc and flee the country with Rs 200 crores in his pocket just like that.
‪#‎BlockbusterEvenBeforeRelease‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

We don’t need no IAS officers…

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(While the whole nation is behind suspended and chargesheeted IAS officer Durga Shakti Nagpal, the SP government has gone ahead and said that they don’t need IAS officers in the first place)

Please sing to the tune of Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd…

We don’t need no IAS officers,
We don’t need no Central control,
No dark sarcasm in the newsroom,
Communals leave them seculars alone,
Hey communals leave them seculars alone,
All in all the citizen is just another brick in the wall,
All in all the citizen is just another brick in the wall.

This spoof by Sunil Rajguru

(Original Song: Another Brick in the Wall 2
Group: Pink Floyd.
Year: 1979)

Durga Shakti Nagpal musings…

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The whole nation rallied behind…
…Anna: Lokpal not cleared.
…Khemka: Zilch.
…Durga: Chargesheeted.
1 Politician <Greater than> 1 Million Protestors.

Statement: Durga, we are all with you.
What you think it means: We are fighting with you.
What it actually means: We are suffering with you.

MMS on Durga case…
“The rules have been laid down and the rules will be followed.”
Wow! That applies to each and every event in the country from 1947 to now!
What a sweeping statement!

Sonia writes letter to MMS.
Why, are they pen friends?

The last famous Shakti (Kapoor) was a Bollywood villain.
The next famous (Durga) Shakti (Nagpal) is also being treated as a villain by our politicians.

Durga… 1. Suspended. 2. Chargesheeted.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two wrongs sure up the fight.

Akhilesh: We have built castles in UP.
Comment: But you have built castles in the sand (mafia land).

Why did you send a letter to MMS?
Sonia: I can’t tell whether he’s nodding his head or not on the phone.
Reliance: What you need is a videophone. Kar lo duniya apni mutthi main!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPA-Manmohan Singh musings…

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Funny isn’t it how the Congress with 27% Lok Sabha seats (2004-09) and 38% seats (2009-13) + 29% Rajya Sabha seats has got its way in almost everything?

In 2006, Jason Gillespie was sent as a night watchman in a Test match.
He scored a double century.
In 2004, the Congress sent a night watchman to head the government.
He is still batting!

44 bills off 16 days.
If BJP helps clear them: Match-fixing!
If BJP doesn’t: Negative bowling! Not in the right spirit!

Spot the difference.
44 runs off 16 balls…
Dhoni: Theek hai.
44 bills off 16 days…
MMS: Theek hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru