UP Poll musings…

#Akhilesh
2011: Humble cycle yatra.
2016: High-tech Mercedes bus yatra.
Development for Mulayam’s child, but not for UP’s children.
#UPPolls

Nehru ½ of Mahatma.
Indira ⅓ of Nehru.
Rajiv ¼ of Indira.
Sonia ⅕ of Rajiv.
Pappu ⅙ of Sonia.
Priyanka 1/7 of Pappu.
Bottom Trinity to campaign for UP polls.

ASP: Akhilesh Samajwadi Party.
BSP: Bahujan Samajwadi Party.
MSP: Mulayam Samajwadi Party.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Azam Khan’s buffaloes went missing…

buffalo-2359970_640Ask not what your buffaloes can do for you.
Ask what you can do for your buffaloes.
—Azam Khan, SP.

While UP was burning, SP was fiddling with junkets, film shows and buffaloes.

Full marks to the SP for respecting animal rights.
That they pay absolutely no regard for human rights is a different story altogether.

Did anyone check what direction Azam Khan’s buffaloes were headed to?
Mulayam has launched a Delhi Chalo campaign.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Durga Shakti Nagpal musings…

The whole nation rallied behind…
…Anna: Lokpal not cleared.
…Khemka: Zilch.
…Durga: Chargesheeted.
1 Politician <Greater than> 1 Million Protestors.

Statement: Durga, we are all with you.
What you think it means: We are fighting with you.
What it actually means: We are suffering with you.

MMS on Durga case…
“The rules have been laid down and the rules will be followed.”
Wow! That applies to each and every event in the country from 1947 to now!
What a sweeping statement!

Sonia writes letter to MMS.
Why, are they pen friends?

The last famous Shakti (Kapoor) was a Bollywood villain.
The next famous (Durga) Shakti (Nagpal) is also being treated as a villain by our politicians.

Durga… 1. Suspended. 2. Chargesheeted.
Two wrongs don’t make a right.
But two wrongs sure up the fight.

Akhilesh: We have built castles in UP.
Comment: But you have built castles in the sand (mafia land).

Why did you send a letter to MMS?
Sonia: I can’t tell whether he’s nodding his head or not on the phone.
Reliance: What you need is a videophone. Kar lo duniya apni mutthi main!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

How the Congress and SP keep checkmating each other…

Congress: Durga. SP: Khemka.

Congress: Durga. SP: No Food Bill.

Congress: Durga. SP: All IAS officers can leave UP.

SP: Sonia no PM. Congress: SP no Government.

SP: We’ll withdraw support. Congress: We’ll call CBI.

Congress: Secular. SP: Secular.

Congress: Rahul. SP: Akhilesh.

Congress: UPA3. SP: Third Front.

And as usual, India always loses.

© Sunil Rajguru