Congress: Durga. SP: Khemka.
Congress: Durga. SP: No Food Bill.
Congress: Durga. SP: All IAS officers can leave UP.
SP: Sonia no PM. Congress: SP no Government.
SP: We’ll withdraw support. Congress: We’ll call CBI.
Congress: Secular. SP: Secular.
Congress: Rahul. SP: Akhilesh.
Congress: UPA3. SP: Third Front.
And as usual, India always loses.
© Sunil Rajguru
Dear citizens,
Aapka talktime khatam ho gaya hai.
Recharge ke liye aapke paas bilkul paise nahin hain.
Doosra provider aapko 2014 main hi mil sakta hai.
Aap hame kya kisi aur ko koi calls nahin kar sakte hai. SMS bhi nahin.
Tab tak aap hamare calls chup chaap lete rahaiye aur hamari bakwaas sunte rahaiye.
Yours Sincerely,
UPA2.
© Sunil Rajguru
Motilal: Nobody would have guessed that I would one day be associated with a powerful dynasty!
Sonia: Same here!
Nehru: I did states reorganisation.
Sonia: I’m starting it too.
Indira: I imposed Emergency.
Sonia: I tried it in Cyberspace.
Sanjay: I didn’t occupy the PM’s chair, but still was all-powerful.
Sonia: Ditto!
Rajiv: I got a solid mandate in 1984 and halved it 1989.
Sonia: I got a solid mandate in 2009 and just about may halve it in 2014 too!
© Sunil Rajguru
Your own ease, comfort and safety come first, always and every time.
The honour, welfare and comfort of the partymen come next.
The safety, honour and welfare of your country come last, always and every time.
(With due apologies to glorious cadets of the IMA and Field Marshal Philip Chetwode)
Totally misquoting the original by US business house…
Rule 1: The politician is always right.
Rule 2: If the politician is ever wrong, re-read Rule 1.
Totally misquoting the original by US consultancy firm…
When the politician comes first, the politician will last.
Totally misquoting the original by Gandhi…
The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of yourself.
That service is the noblest which is rendered for one’s own sake.
Totally misquoting the original by Tagore…
I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I looted and behold, service became joy.
Totally misquoting the original by Einstein…
Only a life lived in the service one’s self is worth living.
Totally misquoting the original by Woodrown Wilson…
You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enrich yourself, and to impoverish the country in the process.
Totally misquoting the original by Mother Teresa…
If you can’t feed a hundred Indian citizens, then just feed yourself.
Totally misquoting the original by Fred Rogers…
Life is for self-service.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru
To counter the Gujarat Model, economists are combining the best of secular states like Bihar, Uttarakhand, Delhi, Haryana and Uttar Pradesh.
It will be called the BUDHU Model for short.
Modi is campaign chief and…
Pappu: Don’t want to be PM.
Nitish: Struggling to be CM.
Akhilesh: Just struggling.
Andhra: Does it even have a CM?
Life on the edge!
Take a taxi driven by a Bihari to Aditi Restaurant. Once there, praise Modi and demand that Mumbai separate from Maharashtra!
© Sunil Rajguru
![cat-694730_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2013/08/cat-694730_640.jpg)
Q: Is it bad luck if a black cat crosses my path?
A: No. It is bad luck for the cat if you cross its path. It will probably get scared and run away.
Q: Is it bad luck if I walk under a ladder?
A: No. It is bad luck if you crash straight into the ladder.
![texture-1655298_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2013/08/texture-1655298_640.jpg)
Q: Is it bad luck if you walk on the cracks on the pavement.
A: It doesn’t make any difference. But people think you’re an idiot if you walk in a funny manner trying to avoid all those cracks. That may eventually bring bad luck in some form.
Q: Is 13 an unlucky number?
A: No. 13 doesn’t consider itself lucky or unlucky. It is an inanimate number.
![rook-2369802_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2013/08/rook-2369802_640.jpg)
Q: Is it bad luck if a black crow sits on me?
A: No. It is extremely unlucky and probably fatal if you sit on the crow instead.
Q: Does a howling dog mean a very bad omen?
A: No. It probably means that the dog is sad or hungry or has been mistreated by someone of your species.
![mirror-frame-2407292_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2013/08/mirror-frame-2407292_640.png)
Q: Will a broken mirror bring seven years of bad luck.
A: If it is not cleared and disposed of properly it is sure to bring injury and hence bad luck to someone in the house.
Q: Does that particular star decide my destiny?
A: The visual of the star you think is deciding you destiny is from thousands of years in the past and may not even exist in this present moment.
![dark-2024127_640](http://www.sunilrajguru.com/"wp-content/uploads"/2013/08/dark-2024127_640.png)
Q: If you wish on a shooting star, do you get your wish?
A: If you believe that a disintegrating piece of large rock will somehow absorb your thoughts and make the universe conspire to see that your stupid silly mundane wish comes true and actually succeed, then you’re spot on.
Q: Does a rabbit’s foot bring good luck?
A: It’s pretty bad luck and a cruel thing to do it the rabbit is still alive and hopping on one leg somewhere. Plus, do you keep dead human pieces about you? How is the life of a rabbit different from that of a human being from the point of view of Mother Nature? The truth is that all humans are extremely bad luck for all animals.
These versions by Sunil Rajguru