Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 7

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cook.
Cook who?
That’s right. Cuckoos all of you have become on Indian soil, after being lions at home.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Shoe.
Shoe who?
Sorry Shoe shoe… shoo shoo go away. No shoeing allowed. I ain’t no Bush!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Marx.
Marx who?
Mark my words I said, didn’t I, that no good would come from this type of capitalism!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Recession.
Recession who?
Yeah, that’s right, keep pretending you don’t know me and brushing me under the carpet and I’ll keep getting bigger and bigger and eventually depress you big time.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Shahrukh.
Shahrukh who?
Yeah I knew you’d forgotten me. Haven’t had a blockbuster for 3 years, but now I’m going to blitz you so much that you’ll get totally sick of me. Me Jeevan. All other superstars Ravans.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Every day is a Sonday 6…

∙ Sick and tired of hearing about problems with Pakistan and China, my nine-year-old son asks if India can declare independence from Asia and become an island once again as it was millions of years ago.

∙ When he’s optimistic about tomorrow, he uses the term “Bright side of the future”. Pessimistic: “Dark side of the future”.

∙ He prepared an airport with his blocks, tracks, toy planes and cars. At the end of it, he said, “OK now to organize for sponsorship before the inauguration,” and promptly sat down sketching billboard ads on a sheet of paper.
Then he held a plane in his hand and asked “Can you check from the window which direction the wind is blowing?” When I asked why, I was told that the plane always had to land or take off against the wind, something I had only explained to him some time back.
Talk about simple kid games!

∙ Children nowadays seem to be aware of all developments relevant to them. I don’t believe in Credit Cards so I always get away from buying anything for him off the Internet. One day, when I came home he promptly informed me that from now on I had no excuses for Web purchases as Flipkart accepted cash on delivery!

Overheard…

∙ You have to agree.
I can’t. For then both of us would be wrong!

∙ How was school today?
Terrible!
Why?
The whole class was in a state of shock!
Why?
The class teacher changed today.

∙ Can I use your cap?
Yes.
Sure?
Yes.
You won’t be angry?
Yes.
Great! I used it last week! Thanks!

∙ How soon will a spaceship reach Proxima Centauri if it travels at 10,000 times the speed of light?
But you can’t travel faster than the speed of light.
Says who? Haven’t you heard? Einstein is no longer right.
(Funnily, he seems to forget most of the things he reads in his text books, but nothing from newspapers or news channels.)

© Sunil Rajguru