Category Archives: Short Takes

The pains of #Demonetization

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India hasn’t been Modified yet.
We’re not even halfway there.

ATMs.
Yesterday.
Open… 24 hours.
Today.
Open… Till stocks last!

If today you have a lot of change in the form of Rs 100 notes, then you are a Chhuttapati.

Government should have opened online liquor home delivery stores along with #Demonetisation.
Would have done roaring business.

Hit hard…
Lower/middle class with white money—Short run.
Rich class with black money—Long run.
Managing…
Those with cards/net banking/PayTM.

#Demonetisation for the…
Corrupt—Devastating.
Common man—Long queues.
Bank employees—Long hours.
Online companies—Growth!
Opposition—Ammo to attack.

Yesterday…
Beggar to common man—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!
Today…
Common man to bank—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!

We need an odd even scheme in banks.
On odd days you can deposit.
On even days you can withdraw.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more Trump triumph musings…

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If__doesn’t win then supporters won’t accept it, ask to secede, riot in the streets and threaten rival supporters with violence.
Media— __=Trump.
Reality = Hillary.

Hillary most reckless over classified info.
Obama wrecked Middle East, baited Putin.
DNC rigged the primaries.
But Trump’s the danger guy!

American media never learns.
They’ve started attacking Trump from Day 1.
His supporters will only become more strong.

The media totally conned Hillary supporters into thinking that she would get a landslide.
Being royally duped is also part of their rage.

Less educated vote for Democrats.
Media—The masses prefer Democrats.
Less educated vote for Republicans.
Media—The ignorant prefer Republicans.

In India, the media is petrified of hearing…
Sonia is unhappy.
In America, the media is petrified of hearing…
Hillary is unhappy.

Go figure…
1984—Mondale with 40.6% popular vote got 2.4% of Electoral College.
1992—Clinton with just 43% popular vote got 68.7% of electoral college.

It’s not black and white…
Hillary started her political career as a Republican and ended up as a Democrat.
Trump started his political career as a Democrat and ended up as a Republican.

Fact of the day…
5 of the 7 US Presidents from 1981-2017 either Democrats or ex-Democrats.
D: #Obama #Clinton #Carter
Ex-D: #Reagan #Trump

Chelsea Clinton Director in IAC.
IAC has Daily Beast brand.
Daily Beast merged with Newsweek.
Newsweek shipped “Madam Clinton” edition announcing her victory in advance.
Why are you surprised?

#TrumpEffect
Headed straight for the dustbin…
#Obamacare
#TPP
#ClimateChange
#PoliticalCorrectness
#Liberals
#MainstreamMedia
#ObamaLegacy

If Angela Merkel and François Hollande want to win next year—they should start mouthing…
#AbkiBaarAngelaSarkaar
and
#AbkiBaarHollandeSarkaar

America is yet to elect a woman or the descendant of a slave as President.

#IndianAdarshLiberal
Hide violence of Congress/CPM/RJD/SP/TMC.
Focus on BJP rhetoric 24X7.
#USAdarshLiberal
Hide violence of Hillary supporters.
Focus on Trump rhetoric 24X7.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General random political musings…

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2014…
Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojana.
2016…
Pradhan Mantri Kala Dhan Yojana.

Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
#Dharmendra1988 #Modi2016

#AdarshLiberal
If India is bad, you will support Pakistan?
If Capitalism is bad, you will support Communism?
If Indian Army is bad, you will support terrorists?

#Pappu
2000s: Angry young man.
2010s: Angry middle-aged man.
2020s: Angry old man.
2030s: Angry retired man.

#Dharmendra1988
Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
Kejri: Replace paap with New Delhi.
Lalu: Bihar for me.
Didi: 2 changes, West Bengal and last letter i.

Bihar’s MahaGatbandhan cannot be replicated in Uttar Pradesh.
It will become MahaGadbad.

Eat in a Dalit’s hut.
Take a few months off.
Travel in a Mumbai local.
Take a few months off.
Stand in an ATM queue.
Take a few months off.
#PappuPolitics

The glorious 2010s…
___got re-elected and destroyed___
1. Laloo-Bihar.
2. Mulayam-UP.
3. Kejri-Delhi.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me a million times since 1947 and you’re the Indian Left and I’m an ordinary citizen.

In cricketing parlance, Modi is a captain who has won the World Cup while Pappu is still on the benches of a Ranji team.
Media will equalize them in 2019.

All Congress spokespersons get up every morning with the same thought.
How do I rubbish Modi’s achievements today?

Past tense…
Modi has won many times.
Present tense…
Modi is winning everything.
Future tense…
Modi will lose each and every time.
#Haters

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on the “shock” Trump victory…

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When he said #AbkiBaarModiSarkaar, they laughed.
#AbkiBaarCameronSarkaar—they laughed.
#AbkiBaarTrumpSarkaar—they laughed.
Well, they aren’t laughing now!

Had there been no Social Media, Hillary would have won by a landslide.
But had there been no Mainstream Media, Trump would have won by a landslide.

Hillary on Gaddafi.
We came.
We saw.
He died.
Trump on Hillary.
I came.
I saw.
She lost.

Sonia and Hillary—Two Dynastic Monarchs who ruled their parties dictatorially.
Both lost.
Democracy triumphed in the two largest democracies of the world.

In May 2014, the Liberal fled from India to England because of Modi’s win.
Then in June 2016 he fled to America because of Brexit.
Now he’s leaving America too after Trump’s win.
He’s probably heading to France or Germany where elections will take place in 2017.

#NoYouCant because the #BasketOfDeplorables and #BasementDwellers are #NotWithHer and if you keep behaving arrogantly with the common people, #YouNeverWill.

Trump takes over only on January 20, 2017.
Till then all this violence in America is on Obama’s watch.

2014: Congexit. (India)
2015: Labourexit. (UK)
2016: Brexit. BushClintonexit.
Coming soon.
2017: Elections in France and Germany.

Republicans won 2000& 2016 due to Electoral College maths.
In 2017, Republicans will control White House + Both houses + Most States (+SC).
EC is here to stay.
No point debating it.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More #Demonitisation musings…

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So India ends its Unofficial Counterfeit Money Union with Pakistan.
Only the Unofficial Free Border Union with Bangladesh is left.

Nehru created a mess.
Shastri cleaned it.
Indira-Rajiv created a mess.
Rao-Vajpayee cleaned it.
Sonia created a mess.
Modi cleaning it bigly.

Pahale Rs 500 aur Rs 1000 note ke gadde ki chori ka dar tha.
Ab chutte chori hone ka dar hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More #TrumpPresident musings…

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Trump was an iceberg with 7/8th support under the water.
The iceberg sank the Titanic of Liberals, Leftists, Intellectuals and Media.

A man who says he’ll #DrainTheSwamp ends two of America’s biggest political dynasties even before he takes over.

When the needle turns Left.
Liberals: The moral compass is pointing to pure good!
When the needle turns Right.
Liberals: The moral compass is pointing to pure evil!

All American elections.
~50% don’t vote.
~25% vote for someone.
~25% vote for someone else.
If media-liberals’ candidate wins, it’s a great system.
Otherwise it’s crap.

#Scams
#Arrogance
#WikiLeaks
#DNCLeaks
#SpiritCooking
#Conflict
Hillary was the worst candidate.
Voters concurred.
Liberals still in denial

America is not regretting anything.
Trump voters are happy they voted for Trump.
Hillary voters are happy they didn’t vote for Trump.
Non-voters are happy they didn’t vote.

It’s been a really violent intolerant campaign by Trump Haters to show that Trump is full of hate, violence and intolerance.

What if an Indian quit India in 2014 because Modi won and went to America and now wants to leave because of Trump.

About 60 million voted for Trump.
Average Americans struggling with their daily lives.
Get over it, Trump Haters.

Jeb: #AbkiBaarBushSarkaar
Trump: You’re fired!
Hillary: #AbkiBaarClintonSarkaar
Trump: You’re fired!

Hillary + Democrats are really feeling the Bern because Sanders would have given a much better fight to Trump.

Bill’s wife and deputy lost the Presidential polls.
#Hillary #Gore
Obama’s two Secretaries of State lost the Presidential polls.
#Hillary #Kerry

Indians who cheer incompetent failures like Lalu, Pappu, Mamata, Kejri and Sonia are alarmed at Trump’s “danger to democracy” victory in America.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru