Category Archives: Indian Politics

Another never-ending round of Pappu musings…

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Pappu: Has no brain.
Puppet: Can’t use his brain.

Rahul is about
½ of Manmohan’s age
¼ of his grace
1/6 of his experience
1/8 of his intellect
But Manmohan is zero.
So they are both same in the end.

Nehru pushed Indira into politics.
Indira pushed Sanjay/Rahul politics.
Sonia pushing Pappu into politics.

Advisor: We are at an all-time low of 45 Lok Sabha seats. We can’t go any lower!
Pappu: Challenge accepted!

Manmohan Singh’s biography…
The Accidental Prime Minister.
Rahul Gandhi’s biography…
The Accident.

All dynasts got Prime Ministership/Remote Control on platter.
Pappu has been an MP for 12 years and is still struggling.
#AccheDin

In 15 years, Indira won party leadership, elections, wars, did Pokhran, made many bold moves…
In last 15 years, #Pappini Priyanka bagged Sidhu.

Modi 2019 strategy: Development + Governance + #SurgicalStrikes + FDI windfall + 500 rallies…
Congress 2019 strategy: Hey! #Pappini Priyanka looks like Indira!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Lalu still rocks musings…

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#LaluLand
Kejri wants to be like Lalu.
Nitish joins hands with Lalu.
Mamata will turn WB into Laluland.
Media will continue loving Lalu.

Jab tak rahega samose main alu,
Tab tak Kejri ka nautanki rahega chalu.
#AngreziLalu

Rulers of…
National politics—Modi.
Comedy—Pappu.
Drama—Kejri.
Jungle Raj—Lalu.
Illegal aliens—Mamata.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu-Kejri get #Demonetized

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Modi is really lucky that he has clowns like Pappu and Kejri as his chief political opponents.

Kejri has sunk so low off late that he has emerged on the other side of the globe.

Under Nehru-Indira-Rajiv, queues (wait) for gas connections, phones, scooters and cars used to last for years.
Now Congress screams for a wait of hours.

Pappu visits yet another ATM.
For him ATM has become…
Any Time Mockery.

Tumhara votebank?
Pappu: Minorities, par unke liye kuch nahin kiya! LOL!
Kejri: Mera corruption plank aur maine bhi corruption ke liye kuch nahin kiya. LOL!

Many politicians in India today…
Nahin chalegi nahin chalegi,
Bharashtachar ke khilaaf tanashaahi nahin chalegi!

2011.
India Against Corruption.
2016.
Politicians have just stopped short of officially launching…
India For Corruption.

Rahul looks like Rajiv.
But sounds like a Pappu.
Mrs Vadra looks like Indira.
But sounds like Sonia.
#Pappini #Priyanka #UPPolls

The 2017 August Kranti agitation will be against Kejri.
Anna Hazare could still lead it.

2000: Rajesh Pilot died.
2001: Madhavrao Scindia died.
2012: Pranab Mukherjee became President.
2014: Manmohan Singh era ended.
No real leaders left in Congress.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Media gets #Demonetized

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Lalu Jungle Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Akhilesh Goonda Raj.
Media: Wah wah!
Mamata anarchy.
Media: Wah wah!
Modi makes bold move.
Media: This will cost him next election!
(Won 4/4 for CM/PM by the way)

Journo 1: I am a crime reporter. You?
Journo 2: I am an ATM/bank queue reporter. I’ve become quite a specialist at it too!

One TV news channel to another…
Bhala tumhara ATM line hamara ATM line se lamba kaise?

Modi: I can end black money!
Media: I can end Modi’s career! (By showing only negativity. Trying and failing since 2002.)

Before….
Show a line of commentators on the TV screen venting non-stop.
Now….
Show a bank/ATM line on the TV screen venting non-stop.

ATM/Bank queues are the new Panel Discussions for Indian TV news channels.

There is a breed of commentators in India who have no ideology or stand or real views.
They just oppose whatever Modi does.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more #Demonetization musings

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2009—Manmohan will bring change.
2011—Anna Hazare will bring change.
2014—Modi will bring change.
2016—The bank manager will bring change.

ATM: Any Time Money.
STM: Some Time Money.

#MakeInIndia + #Demonetization
=
Eradicating Pakistani counterfeit notes.

Citizen in 2014: Modi I want you to change this country.
Citizen in 2016: Modi I want you bring lots of change in this country.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Kejri ko #Demonetization pe itna gussa kyun aa raha hai?

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2011: Anti-corruption march.
2016: Anti anti-corruption march

2011 August Kranti: Anti-corruption.
2016 November Bahut Krantikari: Anti Anti-corruption.

2011: Promises all measures to fight against all corruption.
2016: Fights against all anti-corruption measures.

2011: I will end the corruption of UPA.
2016: I will end the anti-corruption of NDA.

Who would’ve thought?
The party born out of the anti-corruption movement is now marching against anti-corruption!

Mamata rules like a dictator.
Calls #Demonetisation Draconian.
Kejri claims to be against corruption.
Calls an anti-corruption move corrupt.

Does dharna-anarchy.
He won a Magsaysay?
Talks nonsense 24X7.
He’s an IITian?
Talks nonsense on #Demonetization.
He’s ex-IRS?

After running out of his current nonsense, Kejri will be alleging aliens, UFOs, Illuminati, Area 51, the Apocalypse… in the 2019 elections.

If Kejri was Sports Editor of a newspaper…
Sports Page would carry business, foreign, national, films, horoscope…
Anything but sports!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru