Indo-Pak Nobel Peace Prize musings…

(Reference: 2014 Nobel Peace Prize)

Too young to vote.
Too young to marry.
Old enough to get a Nobel Prize.
‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

Who won the Nobel Prize?
Nobel Committee: Indo-Pak Peace. Hindu-Muslim bhai bhai.

War and Peace…
War at the Indo-Pak border.
Peace Prize for two Indo-Pak citizens.
‪#‎LoC‬ ‪#‎Satyarthi‬ ‪#‎Malala‬

Fact of the day…
This is the first time that an Indian-born Indian resident citizen has won the Nobel Prize after 1930.

3 Indians won the Bharat Ratna for winning the Nobel Prize.
‪#‎CVRaman‬ ‪#‎MotherTeresa‬ ‪#‎AmartyaSen‬
Is Kailash Satyarthi next?

So now Pakistan shares an uneasy relationship with all its Nobel Laureates.
‪#‎AbdusSalam‬ ‪#‎MalalaYousafzai‬

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pakistan’s problems with India

Prime Minister Bilawal Bhutto of Pakistan + Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi of India = Peace.
(The two countries would be too busy laughing 24X7 to fight!)

Zulfikar Ali Bhutto said that Pakistan would wage a 1000-year war with India.
The problem is that with the way it’s going, Pakistan may not even celebrate their 100-year anniversary!

Pakistan’s past is a mess.
Pakistan’s present is a mess.
Bilawal and Imran have proved that Pakistan’s future will be a mess too.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

If Climate Change was indeed the biggest threat…

polar-bear-2199534_640Recently US President Barack Obama said that Climate Change was America’s biggest threat and one even greater than terrorism.

If he really believed that then he would announce the following…

We are conducting joint air strikes over the most polluting industries in the world.

We are sending CIA operatives to find out how the biggest corporates are the biggest polluters and are bending rules to pollute the environment.

We are sending thousands marines all over the world to protect areas like the Amazon forest.

We are conducting economic sanctions against all the countries which happen to be the biggest polluters in the world.

We will use our veto power in the United Nations to pass and not block resolutions which realize the gravity of Climate Change.

However…
…we’d rather use all the above resources to blow the living daylights out of the poorest zones of the world so that they will breed more resentment that will necessitate a backlash that will lead to further strikes ad infinitum, thereby damning the environment of those particular zones ad infinitum.

Hello terrorism, goodbye environment.

© Sunil Rajguru

More Bilawal Bhutto musings…

Pakistan’s Indianised Trimurti…
Sharif: As ineffective as Manmohan.
Imran: As anarchic as Kejriwal.
Bilawal: As idiotic as Pappu.

Bilawal Bhutto lost his Cashmere wool sweater.
He screamed: I will get back my Cashmere, every inch of it!
As usual, social media went crazy for no reason.

Modi beat him to PM’s chair.
Kejri beat him to media coverage.
Bilawal beat him to clown princedom.
Poor Pappu!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

When Bilawal Bhutto wanted every inch of Kashmir…

Dear Bilawal,
First try to take Pakistan from the Pakistani Army.
Then fantasize about taking Kashmir from the Indian Army.

Zulfikar: We’ll eat grass but build the bomb.
Benazir: We’ll eat grass but build self-destructing militancy.
Bilawal: We’ll eat grass.

Bilawal: Why is our country called Pakistan?
Papa: P for Punjab, A for Afghania, K for Kashmir…
Bilawal: What? We’ll take back Kashmir!!!

Bilawal Bhutto heard it as…
Doodh maangoge to kheer denge,
Kashmir maangoge to beer denge.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

More Imran Khan-PTI musings…

Pakistan is not a State.
It is a loose alliance of generals, politicians, US officials and terrorists.

Indian men watching Pak turmoil on news channels.
Indian women watching serene Pak soap operas on Zindagi.
Now all we need is an Indo-Pak cricket match for the sports channels.

It’s quite simple actually.
In Pakistan, night (dictatorship) always follows the day (democracy).
Also, the day is as dark as the night.

Imran Khan’s jingle for Pakistan is…
Boore din aane waale hai.

Lose elections.
Become irrelevant.
Lay siege to a capital.
Do lots of drama.
Rubbish journalists.
Party infighting.
24X7 TV coverage.
Iconic leader good at everything but politics.
‪#‎AAP‬ ‪#‎PTI‬

Imran Khan is the boy who didn’t even own the bat and got out and continued batting claiming that the bat was his.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru