Monthly Archives: August 2013

When Facebook became Twitter and Twitter became Facebook…

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Twitter: Let me introduce the Twitter News stream.
Facebook: Good idea. Let me also do something like that.

Facebook: The Like button is a smashing success.
Twitter: OK you can Favourite something too.

Twitter: You just can’t beat my ReTweet concept.
Facebook: OK let me introduce Share.

Facebook: You can post photos, now that’s exclusive to me.
Twitter: OK, you can post photos too.

Facebook: Well I have groups.
Twitter: OK, I have lists.

Twitter: My Followers concept is unique.
Facebook: Or so you think!

Twitter: My hashtags are unique.
Facebook: Or so you think!

So is it TweetBook or FBWitter?

And will the two merge one of these days?

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

According to the Congress, if they were numbers…

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Corruption, terrorism, inflation: Imaginary.

BJP, RSS, Social Media: Irrational.

The rights of the Dynasty: Natural.

Votebanks: Computable.

Congress involvement in riots, Emergency: Complex.

Loyal servants of the dynasty: Integers.

Everything that the Congress does: Real.

Allies: Algebraic.

Pappu: Hyperreal.

Modi: Zero.

© Sunil Rajguru

General political musings…

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Evolution…
Thousands of years back our ancestors were only interested in survival and nothing else.
Today our politicians are only interested in survival and nothing else.

Action: Kejriwal helped remove Gadkari.
Reaction: Rajnath replaced Gadkari and crowned Modi.
So: In a way, Kejriwal helped Modi?

Great grandfather: When I was small, India had 100s of states (Pre-1947).
Boy: I’m sure the same thing will happen by the time I become old.

If there are 1 lakh Andhra Style Restaurants in India, will about 40,000 of them rename themselves as Telangani Style Restaurants?

Telangana…
Said: Change is inevitable. Change is good. You can’t fight change.
Unsaid: Change=17 Lok Sabha seats.

CBI and BCCI are the ultimate Laundromats.
Kitni bhi gandi chit pakda do, first class dhulai karke clean bana dete hai.

Schrödinger’s Encounter: Any encounter can be both fake and real at the same time.

Laloo: I will give you zero governance!
Voter: Delivered on his promise! Give him 3 terms!
Vajpayee: I will give you great governance.
Voter: It was “good”, but not “great” so let’s boot him out.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Pappu musings…

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Tendulkar should have retired in 2011.
Advani should have retired in 2009.
Pappu should have retired in 2004.

What if?
2014: Modi becomes PM and proves effective.
2019: Anti-incumbency renders Pappu PM. Gets 5 years to play with his new toy: India.

Pappu wanted to email a particular spokesperson that he was designated.
He clicked Reply All by mistake and that’s why they are all speaking together.
Pappu stopped using email after that.No ministry of any kind at the State or Centre.

Straight away PM: Nehru, Rajiv and Chandra Shekhar.
Pappu is on the right track.

Dear Pappu,
Indian citizen ko gussa kyun aata hai?
A: Congress.
Gussa bandh karna hai to tu Congress chhod ya party gaddi chhode.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General cricketing musings…

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Now that Dawood has been chargesheeted in the spot-fixing case, you can remake Jannat and D-Day in the same movie.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
DRS.
DRS who?
There’s a problem and we need to talk about it.
‪#‎Ashes‬

England: DRS se aaye, durust aaye.
Australia: We need DRStic measures to get out of this rut.
‪#‎Ashes

Yesterday, Australia got up and forgot what a bad team they were and look at what happened!
Let’s see if they remember today or continue to plod on in ignorance.
‪#‎Ashes‬

Lalit Modi: Main BCCI lautna chahata hu.
Dial tone: Kripayaa intezaar keejiye, aap kartaar main hai.

Today Mr Srinivasan logged into his Twitter account after ages to rally his Followers and was surprised to find that they had collectively Blocked him.
(Note: Replace Twitter with BCCI)

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Virtual and privacy musings…

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2012: I kept my birthday date public. 73 Facebook friends wished me.
2013: I kept it off and got 4 notifications.
That’s the difference between Reality (2013) and Virtual Reality (2012).

Earlier Russians used to run away from their authoritarian regime to America.
Who would have thought that one day it would be the other way round!

SM is beating MSM because SM is loud and in your face, but not pretentious.
The MSM pretends to be something that it is not. The Mukhauta.

The problem is that people want great publicity and great privacy at the same time.
Something’s gotta give somewhere.

So Snowden finally gets his den in snowy Russia.

You have 11 notifications. One for a Group you didn’t know you were part of, three relating to comments that were posted in that particular group, three invitations to Like a Page of Friends you just added, 3 friendship requests from Hrithik Roshan, Albert Einstein and Donald Duck, (photos, not names that is) and even a message by some strange girl who wants to you to mail her immediately at some fishy looking email ID.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru