Sabjiwallah: Aloo lo, mooli lo, adrak lo…
IPLwallah: Ponting lo, Dhoni lo, Sachin lo…

Shopkeeper: I got a real bargain on this shirt and bagged it real cheap.
IPL Team Owner: I got a real bargain on Clarke and bagged him real cheap.

Shopkeeper: We are having a real problem due to unsold goods.
PCB: We are having a real problem due to unsold goods… err… players.

Manager: You will be amazed to know how much ROI I got over that deal.
CSK: You will be amazed to know how much ROI we got over that Dhoni.

Mukesh Ambani: I’m a Forbes billionaire.
Glenn Maxwell: I’m an IPL millionaire.

Co-employee: Send your resume across and you’ll know how much you’re really worth.
Cricketer: Stand in the IPL auction and you’ll know how much you’re really worth.

Kerry Packer: Big boys play at night.
Srinivasan: Big boys play only play for big bucks.

Bogart in Casablanca: We’ll always have Paris.
Mallya to son: Even if we lose all our other companies, we’ll always have RCB.

Yesterday: Who is Kane Richardson?
Today: He is worth $300,000 more than his countrymen Ponting and Clarke.

At all other times: Ponting, which is the best captain you’ve played under? Waugh!
During IPL season: Ponting, which is the best captain you’ve played under? Ganguly! (Next year, he’ll say Sachin!)

Yesterday’s cricketer: I want to play for my country 12 months a year.
Today’s cricketer: I want to party and play in IPL for 1.5 months and relax for the remaining 10.5 months.

Yesterday: The more matches you play, the more money you get.
Today: Once you get a good price at the auction, you’ll have a greater ROI per match, the lesser matches you play!

Analyst: The stocks of IT companies are down this season.
IPL: The stocks of Windies players are down this season.

Companies board: The following company has gone bankrupt and been liquidated.
IPL: Kochi Tuskers is declared bankrupt and been liquidated.

© Sunil Rajguru