Monthly Archives: August 2012

Yet more musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ They should call him Sri Prakash Jai-sawal-pe-sawal.

∙ UPA=Unlimited Profiteering Alliance, Utterly Pathetic Alliance, Unaccountable (to) People Alliance, Unashamed Parties Alliance, Unbalanced Power Alliance, Un-Productive Alliance, Unbearable People’s Alliance, Unbelievably Pretentious Alliance, Uncertain Policies Alliance, Ulta Pulta Alliance, Unchecked Power Alliance…

∙ As far as the Congress is concerned, CAG=Campaign Against Government and VR (Vinod Rai) should get VRS. But seriously, CAG=Corruption And Government.

∙ Bharst nazar wale, tera muh kaala, tera spectrum kaala, teri bijli kaali aur koyla hai to kaala hi…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The truth about Cut&Paste…

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Cut&Paste= Plagiarism.

Cut&Paste&Escape = The norm.

Cut&PasteX1000 = Research.

Cut&PasteX1 billion times a day = The Internet.

Cut&Paste&Rewrite = Smart journalism.

Latest entrants to the Cut&Paste club…
Retweet without credit.
Repost status message without credit.

Cut&Paste is definitely the foundation of modern writing…

This version by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ Arybhatta invented Zero.
UPA invented hugely multiple Zero scams.
Sibal invented nullify via multiply by Zero method.
They deserve Zero votes in 2014.

∙ Woh tha Raja of 2G.
Manmohan hain Maharaja of all G (Generations of governments).

∙ Progress a la Manmohan
Jitna 1991 main economy ka size tha, us-se bada to scams ka size hain 2012 main!
OR
Yesterday
The turnover of General Motors was greater than the Union Budget of India.
Today
The size of scams is greater than the turnover of General Motors.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ The perfect Indian neta brushes his teeth with Coalgate, uses a 2G mobile, is proud of his Army’s Bofors guns, signs all his papers on Telgi stamp papers, has a house in Adarsh, is very proud of our success in the 2010 CWG Games, puts a very high price on his vote, is a loyal Swiss Bank customer, uses palmolein oil at home and loves shady Big Bulls.

∙ UPA logic…
Only a “fraction” of funds reach masses.
Greater the amount of scams, proportionately greater that “fraction”!

∙ The ABC of scam busting
is actually
The CAG of scam busting.

∙ UPA 2.0 means scams in the region of Rs 2.0 lakh crores.
Wait for UPA 3.0!

∙ 2G scam’s No. 1 status up in the air.
Coal scam blacker than the blackest!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 20

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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Usain.
Usain who?
You sayin’ I’m the greatest? No? OK I say it, “I’m the greatest!”

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
An’ now to the political part of our movement!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Barack.
Barack who?
Brake on the economy, but not on my presidential re-election bid. Thank you Romney!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Modi.
Modi who?
More the people discussing my PM’s chances, the greater chance I have! Keep talking!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

UPAnomics…

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Step 1: Allocate Rs 7000 crores for something as useless as mobiles for below poverty line families.

Step 2: Thousands of crores will disappear along the chain leading to a new scam.

Step 3: Telecom scam is now complete. Spectrum scam gets a partner in handset scam.

Step 4: Crores of BPL families end up with a mobile instead of roti, kapda or makaan.

Step 5: If they really are BPL, then they neither need nor can afford to use a mobile, so they sell it cheaply to buy food.

End result: The nation spends Rs 7000 crore in a scheme that benefits no-one in the long run and only adds to general inflation and economic mess.

Gresham’s law of Economics: Bad money drives out good.
UPA’s law of Economics: Bad schemes drive out good.

UPA1=NREGA dole. UPA2=Free mobiles for BPL families. UPA3 is what?
Bhagwan ke naam pe ek vote de de re baba!

This version by Sunil Rajguru