Monthly Archives: August 2012

UPA bashing of the day…

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· I have a strong feeling that the Congress leadership has a game every morning to select “Idiot of the Day” and that person entertains TV channels and trends on Twitter for the day.

· Whenever the US is under threat, a 100 random lives get killed for no reason.
Whenever the UPA is under threat, a 100 random websites get killed for no reason.

· Hamam main sab nanga,
Par usme bhi Congress sabse changa.
(Actually ye hai bahati corruption ki Ganga).

∙ Q: Aap ka dhan ka kaalapan ka raaz kya hai?
UPA: Hum roz Coalgate ka istemaal karte hai!

∙ Coal is a fossil fuel.
The UPA is full of fossils and has no more fuel to run any more.

· Manmohan’s personal symbol is the Lotus. He’s squeaky clean but surrounded by tonnes of mud.
(No wonder the BJP hate him so much!)

· Rahul is a Twit whose exploits have been ReTwitted in cyberspace a million times.
Boy will he Trend when he becomes PM!

∙ Million dollar Baby: Hollywood.
$100 Billion Dollar Baby: UPA Scams.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

He came into cricket a long long time ago…

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sachin-tendulkar-5835753_1280When Sachin Tendulkar started playing international cricket, the Web wasn’t invented, the DVD didn’t exist, India wasn’t liberalized, the Berlin Wall was still standing, Communism was alive in the USSR, Virat Kohli was a 1-year-old, Dev Patel wasn’t even born, SRK hadn’t debuted in Bollywood, Manmohan Singh wasn’t even a politician, Dhoni’s Jharkhand wasn’t a state, Osho was alive, Nelson Mandela was in jail, George W Bush’s father was US President, Rajiv Gandhi was PM, Thatcher headed the UK…

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Congress versus Twitter…

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· UPA model governance…
Problem: 5 lakh displaced in Assam. Violence in Mumbai & Lucknow. Scare in Bangalore.
Solution: Ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts and impose 5 SMS limit.

· MMS’s biggest achievement of the year has been to ban 6 fake PMO Twitter accounts.
Now he can get back to doing nothing.

· Congress ka Opposition BJP.
BJP ka Opposition English news channels.
English news channels ka Opposition Twitter-Facebook.
Twitter-Facebook ka Opposition Congress.

· You can Fake it in the bedroom, but you can’t Fake it on Twitter.
—(Fake) PMO directive.

· I’m jealous of the fake PMO Twitter accounts! I wish I could be so outspoken and popular! Off with them!—Fake Manmohan Singh quote.

· Contradiction alert: Our PM is a fake.
How can you have a fake Twitter account of a fake PM?

· Twitter: We are real Tweeple with feelings!
UPA: And we are just plain Twits.
Facebook: We have a real genuine face too!
UPA: And we are just plain two-faced.

· PMO Fake Twitter accounts are Really good fun.
PMO Real Twitter account’s Faking interest in the country.

·UPA logic…
There are 6 million counterfeit CDs: Leave them!
There are 6000 fake NGOs: Leave them!
There are 6 fake PMO Twitter Accounts: Arrest them immediately!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Today’s musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ Ole TV show…
Sawaal dus crore ka.
New UPA-CAG reality show…
Sawaal dus lakh crore ka.

∙ Some very large numbers…
Centillion, Millinillion, Icosillion, Googleplex, Googol, Size of UPA Scams…

∙ The 3Cs against the Congress: CAG, Civil Society & Courts.
The 1C for the Congress: Corruption.

∙ Sonia has by far the greatest ROI in the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty.
With a minority share (145 & 206) of Lok Sabha seats, she has presided over a dictatorial government with the greatest scams.

∙ CAG Power=Coal, Aviation, Generations of mobile telephony, Power scams

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes Coalgate chapter

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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Coalgate.
Coalgate who?
Coal gets you Rs 1.86 lakh crore in this country!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kanimozhi.
Kanimozhi who?
Can you move me to the Coal Ministry? 2G is so passé now!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Jaiswal.
Jaiswal who?
Je sawaal karna band karo, koi ghotala nahin hain… zero loss hai… in fact minus zero loss hai…

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Manmohan.
Manmohan who?
Man more henpecking from Sonia coming my way!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

It’s raining scams…

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The scams in India just keep piling up. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the CAG presented three scams in a single day including Coalgate, the biggest of them all…

Please sing to the tune of It’s Raining Men by The Weather Girls…

Hi, Hi! We’re your neighbourhood politicians, ah-huh,
And have we got news for you—You better listen!
Get ready, all you lonely citizens,
and leave those scruples at home, alright!
Corruption is rising, morality’s getting low,
According to all sources, the scam’s the way to go,
Cause today for the first time,
Just about 2012,
For the first time in India’s history,
It’s gonna start raining scams.
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah! It’s raining scams! Amen!
These politicos are gonna go out to run and let themselves get
absolutely soaking wet in black money!
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah!
It’s raining scams! Of every shape and size!
Billions, millions, big and small,
Power, coal, spectrum, housing, coffins, oil… they’ve covered them all.
God bless the First Politicians, they knew what to do,
They ripped off all our resources and did what they had to do,
They taught every next politician to live his own black dream,
So that each and every leader could find the perfect scam,
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah! It’s raining scams! Amen!
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah!
It’s raining scams! Ame———nnnn!

(Original Song: It’s Raining Men.
Group: The Weather Girls.
Year: 1982)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru