The light bulb joke, Indian remixed version

Q: How many Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. Sonia to give the order. Manmohan to stand around to watch and do nothing. Finally Shinde to tell them that it doesn’t make a damned difference as there’s a blackout.

Q: How many Rajnikanths does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. At his very mention, the old bulb repairs itself and starts working.

Q: How many UPA government men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Dozens. First they’ll set up a committee to look into the matter. Then that’ll become a standing committee and be sent to Parliament. Then a probe will be set up to look into the delay. Finally, the light bulb will not be changed due to pressure from allies.

Q: How many Congressmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one if it happens to be Diggy Raja. He’ll declare the light bulb changed and expect you to believe it. If you point out to him that the bulb hasn’t changed, then he’ll call it a RSS conspiracy. If it happens to be Kapil Sibal, then he’ll declare the fused bulb a Zero Energy Loss bulb and simply move on.

Q: How many BJP men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 5. 10. 15. Take your pick. They are too busy pulling each other down ensuring that nobody will end up changing the bulb.

Q: How many Team Anna men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It actually depends on how many media men are present to cover the bulb changing event.

Q: How many Indian Leftists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: First it will have to be ascertained whether the bulb was manufactured as a result of any FDI. Second it will have to be checked whether the bulb was powered by nuclear power. Finally it has to be ascertained whether people are on strike that day.

Q: How many BCCI men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: If there’s money involved then plenty, otherwise none.

Q: How many secularists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The only change they all want is a change in chief ministership in Gujarat to solve all the problems of India.

Q: How many Indian radical activists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They’ll just smash the old light bulb and get TV channels to cover it.

Q: How many Nirmal Baba supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Agar Nirmal Baba ki kripa hai to apne aap ho jaayega, aur nahin hain to hazaron bhi light bulb change nahin kar payenge.

Q: How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As long as the old fused light bulb gives plenty of stories, they will ensure that the bulb doesn’t get changed.

Q: How many Bollywood writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Plenty. They have to study the way a light bulb is changed in Hollywood and many other parts of the world and then they’ll adopt that to Indian conditions.

Q: How many Indian citizens does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are all used to darkness.

Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They’ll just turn that into an election promise that is never kept.

Q: How many Obama supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Well that really depends if a change of light bulb is a change that you believe in.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru