Daily Archives: August 17, 2012

It’s raining scams…

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The scams in India just keep piling up. Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, the CAG presented three scams in a single day including Coalgate, the biggest of them all…

Please sing to the tune of It’s Raining Men by The Weather Girls…

Hi, Hi! We’re your neighbourhood politicians, ah-huh,
And have we got news for you—You better listen!
Get ready, all you lonely citizens,
and leave those scruples at home, alright!
Corruption is rising, morality’s getting low,
According to all sources, the scam’s the way to go,
Cause today for the first time,
Just about 2012,
For the first time in India’s history,
It’s gonna start raining scams.
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah! It’s raining scams! Amen!
These politicos are gonna go out to run and let themselves get
absolutely soaking wet in black money!
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah!
It’s raining scams! Of every shape and size!
Billions, millions, big and small,
Power, coal, spectrum, housing, coffins, oil… they’ve covered them all.
God bless the First Politicians, they knew what to do,
They ripped off all our resources and did what they had to do,
They taught every next politician to live his own black dream,
So that each and every leader could find the perfect scam,
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah! It’s raining scams! Amen!
It’s raining scams! Hallelujah!
It’s raining scams! Ame———nnnn!

(Original Song: It’s Raining Men.
Group: The Weather Girls.
Year: 1982)

This Spoof by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ They should call him Sri Prakash Jai-sawal-pe-sawal.

∙ UPA=Unlimited Profiteering Alliance, Utterly Pathetic Alliance, Unaccountable (to) People Alliance, Unashamed Parties Alliance, Unbalanced Power Alliance, Un-Productive Alliance, Unbearable People’s Alliance, Unbelievably Pretentious Alliance, Uncertain Policies Alliance, Ulta Pulta Alliance, Unchecked Power Alliance…

∙ As far as the Congress is concerned, CAG=Campaign Against Government and VR (Vinod Rai) should get VRS. But seriously, CAG=Corruption And Government.

∙ Bharst nazar wale, tera muh kaala, tera spectrum kaala, teri bijli kaali aur koyla hai to kaala hi…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The truth about Cut&Paste…

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Cut&Paste= Plagiarism.

Cut&Paste&Escape = The norm.

Cut&PasteX1000 = Research.

Cut&PasteX1 billion times a day = The Internet.

Cut&Paste&Rewrite = Smart journalism.

Latest entrants to the Cut&Paste club…
Retweet without credit.
Repost status message without credit.

Cut&Paste is definitely the foundation of modern writing…

This version by Sunil Rajguru

More musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ Arybhatta invented Zero.
UPA invented hugely multiple Zero scams.
Sibal invented nullify via multiply by Zero method.
They deserve Zero votes in 2014.

∙ Woh tha Raja of 2G.
Manmohan hain Maharaja of all G (Generations of governments).

∙ Progress a la Manmohan
Jitna 1991 main economy ka size tha, us-se bada to scams ka size hain 2012 main!
OR
Yesterday
The turnover of General Motors was greater than the Union Budget of India.
Today
The size of scams is greater than the turnover of General Motors.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Musings on Coalgate and other scams…

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∙ The perfect Indian neta brushes his teeth with Coalgate, uses a 2G mobile, is proud of his Army’s Bofors guns, signs all his papers on Telgi stamp papers, has a house in Adarsh, is very proud of our success in the 2010 CWG Games, puts a very high price on his vote, is a loyal Swiss Bank customer, uses palmolein oil at home and loves shady Big Bulls.

∙ UPA logic…
Only a “fraction” of funds reach masses.
Greater the amount of scams, proportionately greater that “fraction”!

∙ The ABC of scam busting
is actually
The CAG of scam busting.

∙ UPA 2.0 means scams in the region of Rs 2.0 lakh crores.
Wait for UPA 3.0!

∙ 2G scam’s No. 1 status up in the air.
Coal scam blacker than the blackest!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru