In LOKPAL, the K stands for Kiran Bedi, the P stands for Prashant Bhushan and the A stands for Anna Hazare.
Now you’ll ask, what about the letters that are left.
What are the letters that are left?
L… O… L…
LOL!
So you really think that a strong Lokpal Bill will be passed?
LOL!
© Sunil Rajguru
Many successful schemes in UPA1 led to the reality that is UPA2.
Now UPA2 is going all out to ensure there will be a UPA3.
Some of the schemes on the anvil…
NREGA2: After the Mahatma Gandhi NREGA, now we will soon have the Rahul Gandhi NREGA or Net Regulation Employment Guarantee Act where millions of unemployed urban youth will be hired to pre-screen millions of Facebook, Twitter and Orkut accounts along with tens of thousands of prominent websites and blog.
RTI2: The RTI Act Part 2 will cover the politicians’ Right to Information related to our online accounts, logins, passwords, identities etc. Now the Internet companies will simply have to provide whatever Information that the politicians feel they have a Right to.
New States Re-organisation Bill: The UPA will come out with a bill to divide India into 50 states to pre-empt moves like Telangana, Vidarbha and the splitting UP. It will also go well with the party’s “Divide and Rule” policy.
4G: To bring in much-needed extra revenue for the government’s coffers. A Raja is likely to make a spectacular comeback.
Cyber Communal Violence Bill: The Communal Violence Bill will be modified for cyberspace and instead of State governments, the Centre will be able to dismiss Internet companies that don’t co-operate with it.
© Sunil Rajguru
Manmohan Singh: I nearly Nuked the government once and almost did it again with the Foreign (DI) Hand.
P Chidambaram: I converted the Ministry into “Home” operations for the party.
Pranab Mukherjee: I brought about tremendous Financial growth in inflation and hikes.
Kapil Sibal: I mastered Miscommunication and Misinformation and turned politics into a “legal” Technology.
A Raja: I converted Telecom into Telecon and pulled Rs 1.76 lakh crore magically out of thin air (spectrum).
Abhishek Manu Singhvi: I single-handedly converted the Lokpal into a Netapal.
Praful Patel: I laid the seeds of Aviation becoming less Civil.
S Jaipal Reddy: Thanks to me, Petroleum is full of Gas.
Ambika Soni: I Broadcast Misinformation.
MK Azhagiri: I Fertilized the DMK.
Suresh Kalmadi: I showed how any Common Wealth could be turned into a financial Game for any politician.
Sharad Pawar: I made sure that all political Food was Consumed by the UPA and facilitated for political and private (non-Public) Distribution.
© Sunil Rajguru
Classic Saying: Delhi door hai.
Anna Saying: Delhi paas hai.
Congress: Lokpal paas hai.
Anna: Lokpal door hai.
Congress: Bhrashtachar door hai.
Anna: Bhrashtachar (tumhare) paas hai.
Congress: RSS (tumhare) paas hai.
Anna: RSS door hai.
Anna: Hamare paas Lok taqat hai.
Congress: Tumse door Lok Sabha hai.
Anna: Aam aadmi (tumhare) paas nahin hai.
Congress: Aam chunav door hai.
© Sunil Rajguru
Said: We believe that you have the right to say whatever you want…
Unsaid: …as long as it agrees with us.
Said: We do not believe in censorship, but pre-screening.
Unsaid: How about a compulsory Anti-Offensive Software for every computer? Think of the effectiveness! Think of the revenue for such a project! Think of the kickbacks!
Said: I will defend your right to freedom of speech till the very end.
Unsaid: Till your end at least!
Said: Look at these photos. Aren’t they offensive? (At the press conference)
Unsaid: A voracious Facebooker like me hadn’t even seen these photos! Now thanks to you, millions are exchanging the same on the Internet all over the world.
Said: We asked the Internet companies to come out with a mechanism in four long weeks.
Unsaid: Even though the Lokpal Bill has been hanging fire with us politicos for four short decades.
Said: We asked them to give it in writing!
Unsaid: Even though our written “sense of the house” had absolutely no bearing on the Lokpal Bill.
Said: We will come out with the guidelines soon.
Unsaid: I have seen what problems this silly move has created and as usual we are going to make the problem so big that we will be forced to beat a hasty retreat.
© Sunil Rajguru
With so many of the UPA’s ministers in jail, FIRed or facing allegations of impropriety and their nemesis Subramanian Swamy breathing down their necks, very soon UPA could well stand for the United Prisoners’ Association!
Fire in the UPA belly…
A Raja, Suresh Kamladi, M Kanimozhi, Shashi Tharoor…. Fired!
SM Krishna, Dharam Singh… “FIR”ed!
P Chidambaram, Manmohan Singh, Sonia Gandhi… Facing the Subramanian Swamy Fire
All other Ministers firefighting all the time on all sorts of issues, the latest being Kapil Sibal…
You’re Blind without Vision…
Mamata Banerjee became the General Secretary of the Congress in West Bengal in 1976.
After that the Congress never came to power in the state till date.
She joined the NDA alliance in 1999.
That Central government got voted out in the very next elections.
She joined the UPA in 2009 as Railways Minister.
Both the UPA and the Railways have been in decline since then.
Now she’s become the Chief Minister of West Bengal.
Dear West Bengal. Best of Luck! You’ll need it.
Just because you voted out a really bad government is no guarantee that the next one will not be much worse.
50% Firebrand + 50% Absolute Sincerity + 0% Strategy and Vision = Still 100% Disaster.
© Sunil Rajguru