The wisdom of the UPA…

It’s the economy stupid!=Economist Manmohan Singh made Prime Minister.

Love your enemy=No strong action taken against terrorists; China threat ignored.

Youth is the future=Rahul Gandhi is future PM.

Think before you speak=Kapil Sibal’s pre-screening of Internet content.

Speech is silver=Diggy Raja, Manish Tiwari & Co.

…and silence is golden=Manmohan Singh & Sonia Gandhi.

Black is beautiful=Refusal to expose Swiss Bank accounts.

With great power comes great responsibility=PM: Actually I have no real power and hence I have no real responsibility.

The importance of woman power=Sonia Gandhi president of the Congress party for record 13-years and counting, more than Mahatma Gandhi or Jawaharlal Nehru; dynamic Pratibha Patil made President of India; Sheila Dixit continues despite CWG blot.

Only the great defy gravity=Thanks to us you have continuous inflation, petrol hikes…

Get everyone on board before making a decision=Nobody is coming on board only nowadays! So from now on there will be no major decisions.

Albert Einstein said, “…the fourth world war will be fought with sticks and stones.”
If we have no breakthrough in the December agitation, then the fourth Lokapl war will also be fought with sticks and stones!

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The 5Ws and H of World Series Hockey…

Common Man…
What Series Hockey?
Where Series Hockey?
FIH: Why Series Hockey?
Fans: When Series Hockey?
Organisers: World Series How?
Bottomline: Who’ll Save Hockey?

Remember, in sports, C stands for Cash…
CriCket, HoCkey, $oCCer, OlympiC$, CommonWealth, Teni$$…
The India story…
Problem 1: Too less Cash=Corruption of talent pool.
Problem 2: Too much Cash=Corruption of administrators.

Gavaskar Yesterday: I have no reason to hate the BCCI.
Gavaskar Today: I have one million reasons to hate the BCCI.

© Sunil Rajguru

Real to reel and back to real…

A dam appeared on the silver screen.

That gave a totally new insight to people around the dam.

On one side, the dam looked totally new.

But from the other side, it looked old and dilapidated.

From a few thousand kilometres up North, it couldn’t even be seen.

And nobody could see under the ground to check if seismic waves would rise up and disrupt the structure.

The heat is rising all around and two states are heading towards troubled waters.

Sometimes real life inspires reel life and then than reel life escapes back into real life.

Damn!

© Sunil Rajguru

Some slogans to live and die by…

The Bible: Live and Let Live.

James Bond: Live and Let Die.

Suicide Bomber: Die and Let Die.

India’s Terrorist Policy: Die and Let Live.

∙ New brand ambassador for Maharashtra Tourism: Kasab.
Catchline: Come visit us, you’ll love this place so much that we’ll never let you leave!
(No spelling mistake. It can’t be “we’ll never let you live” as death is reserved only for common citizens and not hardened terrorists.)

P.S. Delhi could say the same for the Kashmiri who visted them: Afzal Guru.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Anna-UPA musings…

How to make India a clean country…

Step 1: Take the highly complex issue of Corruption and isolate it.

Step 2: Put it in a box called Lokpal and lock it, throwing away the keys.

Step 3: Throw the box in the Anna River.

Step 4: Stand by the banks and pray…

∙ This whole Anna Hazare saga and his fight with the government is fast resembling a Harry Potter-Voldemort fight. Here’s reworking the original prophesy…

“The one with the power to vanquish the UPA approaches… born to a movement which has been thrice defied by the Centre… and the UPA will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the UPA knows not … and either must fall at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives…”

2012 Outlook: Either the government will fall or Anna will totally fail and be consigned to the shadows.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

C for Cyberspace, but C for Censorship?

(The world’s largest democracy wants to regulate the world’s largest democratic medium…)

Kapil Sibal sahab: Whether it’s someone like you or someone like me,
Whether it’s grand Madam Sonia or the beleaguered Narendra Modi,

Whether you’re a bigot or trying to make your point pretty fairly,
Whether you’re pretty famous or just a piece of anonymity,

Once you get into cyberspace and make any opinion “simply”,
Get ready to be attacked and get it from all sides equally,

If a newspaper becomes trash the next day, in cyberspace it’s gone in an hour,
(Unless you keep digging it out of the grave over some perverse sense of honour),

Just take the criticism and move on, the Net won’t cut you any slack,
Otherwise just get out of cyberspace and don’t look back.

© Sunil Rajguru