Monthly Archives: October 2011

Contemporary Knock Knock Jokes 6

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Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
I.
I who?
iThis. iThat. iHere. iThere. It’s just about iEverything nowadays!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Anna.
Anna who?
I know you’re RSS! (Guess who!)

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Sonia.
Sonia who?
So now you don’t think she’s doing as great a job as she was doing in 2009?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Omar.
Omar who?
O maara ki nahin maara maine use, tum apna ye biased news coverage bandh karo!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Bhusan.
Bhushan who?
Bhoosa mara mujhe that’s what!

© Sunil Rajguru

Random Thoughts 27

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∙ Sometimes I think mankind is a suicide bomber bent on blowing up the Earth.

∙ In the good ole days, most people’s lives used to go nowhere slowly.
Nowadays, most people’s lives go nowhere pretty fast.
That’s progress I guess.

∙ With so little time and so little rest nowadays, the phrase should changed to…
“I need 20 winks of sleep!

∙ Contemporary word meanings…
Baroque: Highly ornate and extravagant in style.
Barack: Highly ornate and extravagant in style of speech.

∙ An Indian rubbed a genie and was granted one wish. Being a true patriot, he asked for all the corrupt people in India to simply vanish.
Suddenly there was absolutely no-one to rule the nation and India quickly slipped into anarchy and became the world’s most failed nation.

© Sunil Rajguru

Choose your crime. Choose your size.

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If you want to thrash a prominent person, then first form a fancy group with a fancy name…

If you want to kill someone, make sure you have a bigger group with a bigger sounding cause…

If you want to kill a few more people, make sure you end up in politics to escape in the end…

If you want some chance of success at any stupid cause, make sure you do enough rail and rasta rokos, disrupting life as much as possible…

If you want to kill a few million people however, make sure you head a respectable government first…

For all other common citizens, even if you steal 10 Rupees or threaten someone, you could end up in jail for a very long time…

© Sunil Rajguru

Indian employment exchange Wanted Ads…

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Journalist: Wanted someone who can fabricate stories and make mountains out of molehills and vice versa without a conscience.

PR: Do you have a bit of Niira Radia within you?

Banker: If you can ensure your salary and bonus for just one year and have great short-term financial goals (the overall economy and Sensex be damned) then please apply.

Banking Consultant: If you are a small-time goonda, here’s your chance to become a respectable recovery agent.

Lawyer: Just head to any political party after your law degree. Most of them end up there anyway.

Commercial Pilot: Just make sure you have enough money to buy a fake degree.

Sales Job: But can you lie 24X7 and be confident about it?

Accountant: Knowing all the rules and being good with numbers is not enough. Apply if you can manipulate rules at will and make numbers dance in any way you want.

Real Estate: Do you have it within you to handle the land mafia to make it big?

Army: Adarsh hai to wahan pe apply karo…

Politician: If you have all the above mentioned skills, then we already welcome you to the wonderful world of Indian politics.

© Sunil Rajguru

The Diggy Raja Doublespeak Show of 2011

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After reading Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, Diggy Raja turned to George Orwell’s 1984 and was quite impressed with the whole concept of Doublespeak…

Prashant Bhushan attacks corruption… The BJP is backing him!
Prashant Bhushan gets attacked… The BJP is beating him!

Anna Hazare attacks RSS… He is lying!
RSS backs Anna Hazare… They are telling the truth, hence proved that Anna Hazare was lying as my previous statement showed!

Manmohan Singh as PM… He is the best PM and so should stay.
Rahul Gandhi as PM… He will be even greater and so should become.

On Anna Hazare… Anna is RSS RSS RSS!
On Team Anna… Anna Hazare is an honest and simple man. People are misusing his name.

On Anna Hazare’s fast… We will give him the Baba Ramdev treatment!
On Sanjiv Bhatt’s arrest… This is a burning example of fascist thinking and fascist government.

Chidambaram and Naxalism… He is intellectually arrogant.
Chidambaram and corruption… Sangh has made him a target.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru