The Quit India Movemement 2011

BJP to Manmohan: Quit PM’s post. You’ve lost it.
RSS to Advani: Quit PM candidature. You never had it!

Opponents to BSY: Quit politics and stay in jail.
Karuna to Kanimozhi: Quit jail and return to politics!

Bajaj to Mallya: Quit the airline industry. No bailout for you.
Environmentalists to Bajaj: Quit polluting India!

Swamy to Chidambaram: Quit the ministry. You’re tainted.
Politicians to Swamy: Quit troubling all of us all the time!

Congress workers to Rahul: Quit this indecision and lead the country.
Opponents to Rahul: Lead the country? Quit India first!

Team Anna to Government: Quit if you can’t pass Lokpal.
Lokpal to Itself: If anyone will Quit, I know it’ll be me!

Modi to Detractors: Quit troubling me over Godhra.
Detractors to Modi: Quit over Godhra!

RSS to Diggy Raja: Quit maligning us.
Diggy Raja to RSS: Quit your very existence!

Omar to Army: Quit Kashmir.
Army to Omar: Only after the last militant has Quit!

© Sunil Rajguru

Chaos and the Bellary Butterfly Effect

Timeline: 2004 to 2011

Voters to BJP: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

BJP to RSS: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

RSS to Advani:
Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Advani to Yeddy: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Yeddy to Reddys: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Reddys to Bellary: Thanks for everything, but your services are no longer required.

Bellary to Itself: Kyunki mining services bache hi nahin hai. Maine kisi ka kya bigaada re, ki main aisa ujad gaya! Sab ke jebe bhar bhar ke main khud kangaal ho gaya hu!

How green was my valley!

The Butterfly Effect: The flapping of a butterfly’s wings in Mexico can unleash a tornado in the US.

The Bellary Butterfly Effect: The flapping of ballot papers in Delhi can unleash an environmental and economic tornado in Bellary.

This version by Sunil Rajguru

Yet more DRPJs (Diggy Raja PJs)

∙ Diggy Raja’s infalliable logic…
The RSS was founded in 1925.
That proves that everything that went wrong in India over the last 86 years is the fault of the RSS!

∙ Someone recently said that Diggy Raja is not part of the Government.
That’s false.
He’s the Lifelong and Honorary Minister of State for Spin.
A Bollywood film of his life story will be called Wag the Cow.

∙ Once Diggy Raja was presented with a box of oranges.
He called the police.
Nagpur is famous for oranges and also the founding of the RSS.
There are no such things as co-incidences.

∙ The RSS wanted Tere Sang to be banned because a 15-year-old girl gets pregnant in that Bollywood movie.
Diggy Raja wanted it banned because he thought it was part of the Sangh Parivar and spelt as Tere Sangh.

∙ Why doesn’t Diggy Raja celebrate Vijay Dashami?
Because the RSS was founded on that day!

∙ Another Faaltu full form of RSS…
(Diggy) Raja’s Swayam-banaye-hue Surmises.

∙ During Independence, some Congress leaders wanted the RSS to merge with the Congress.
That contradiction made Diggy Raja’s head spin.
His head is still spinning.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Diggy Raja Times…

Here is the news today…

∙ Libyan leader Muhammed Gadaffi was finally killed thanks to the close ties he had developed with the RSS in the last days of his life. His views of Kashmir were highly biased since they were influenced by RSSRSS (Really Simple Syndication of the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh).

∙ The Bangalore Metro finally took off because BSY, who is extremely high on RSS radiation, is no longer in charge. The relatively low level of RSS contamination faced by Sadanand Gowda greatly helped matters.

∙ The RSS Virus has finally turned Team Anna into a sick patient. I had warned earlier that it was severely affected with the RSS Virus and the symptoms are there for everyone to see now: Infighting, dissent, loss of credibility and corruption.

∙ The RSS Virus has also hit Team England who were fit enough to beat us on their soil, but have fallen sick after coming to India. There is a Patel in the team and all Patels are close to Narendra Modi. That could be the source of infection.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The Diggy Raja Doublespeak Show of 2011

After reading Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, Diggy Raja turned to George Orwell’s 1984 and was quite impressed with the whole concept of Doublespeak…

Prashant Bhushan attacks corruption… The BJP is backing him!
Prashant Bhushan gets attacked… The BJP is beating him!

Anna Hazare attacks RSS… He is lying!
RSS backs Anna Hazare… They are telling the truth, hence proved that Anna Hazare was lying as my previous statement showed!

Manmohan Singh as PM… He is the best PM and so should stay.
Rahul Gandhi as PM… He will be even greater and so should become.

On Anna Hazare… Anna is RSS RSS RSS!
On Team Anna… Anna Hazare is an honest and simple man. People are misusing his name.

On Anna Hazare’s fast… We will give him the Baba Ramdev treatment!
On Sanjiv Bhatt’s arrest… This is a burning example of fascist thinking and fascist government.

Chidambaram and Naxalism… He is intellectually arrogant.
Chidambaram and corruption… Sangh has made him a target.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Diggy Raja musings…

Anna Hazare definitely needs Z+ Security from the verbal assaults and character assassination attempts from the fleet Congress spokespersons, particularly Diggy Raja.

Who says India doesn’t have good stand-up comedians?
Diggy Raja is world class.

Given enough time, Diggy Raja will blame the RSS even for JFK’s assassination.

Diggy Raja is totally sane.
It’s the world that’s mad.

Height of conspiracy…
Diggy Raja is an RSS agent.

If Diggy Raja was made the Lokpal, then he’d shut the office in two minutes flat saying that there is no corruption in India.

Jitna fast Anna ko stomachache nahin deta, us-se kahin jyaada Diggy Raja us-se headache deta hain.

Arundhati Roy is not an Independent Republic. Diggy Raja is.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Some Congressi definitions…

Fascism: A system led by a dictator like Anna Hazare having complete power, forcibly suppressing government and its corrupt ministers, regimenting all protests, agitations, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive sense of national pride by demanding an end to black money.

Thug: A professional arm-twister who strangles the government with his unrealistic demands like Baba Ramdev.

Anti-corruption agitator: Another name for an RSS agitator. Do you think the Congress government is corrupt? Then you have got to be an RSS sympathizer. Are you agitating against corruption? Ha! The mukhauta (mask) is off, you are definitely an RSS activist!

Corruption: Something that has dropped on the Congress unfortunately and unavoidably like pigeon shit. Hey! We are the white kurtas and not the pigeons!

Lokpal Bill: An unfortunate and unavoidable situation arising out of the pigeon shit as mentioned above.

Freedom of speech: Something which is guaranteed only to one and only one citizen in India out of the 1 odd billion, namely Mr Digvijay Singh.

Sibal Society: The true white and pure efforts of the Congress government. Its opposite is Civil Society.

Mr India: Manmohan Singh. Not because he is saving India like the famous Anil Kapoor movie, but because he is invisible.

Police State: Refers only to the states controlled by Narendra Modi and Mayawati. Since Baba Ramdev is a fascist thug leading thousands of RSS activists, he got what was coming to him just like Osama. In the process we have also proved that we are a superpower like US. Osama and Baba are two sides of the same coin.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Really bad Diggy Raja PJs…

∙ Many years back, Diggy Raja lost his voice.
Then he became the world’s first recipient of a foot-for-tongue transplant.
God forgive him for he knows not what he says!

∙ The protestors are RSS…
Baba is RSS…
Anna is RSS…
The shoe hurler is RSS…
This is RSS…
That is RSS…
The only RSS with relation to Diggy Raja stands for “Really Stupid Statements”!

∙ Diggy Raja is a great fan of Goebbels.
Goebbels once said something to the effect of…
If you repeat a lie a hundred times it becomes a truth. The greater the lie, the greater chance it has of becoming a greater truth.
The Diggy Raja remixed version…
If you say a hundred stupid statements a hundred times, they still remain stupid statements, but atleast the speaker feels smart!
The more stupider the statement, the greater the sense of smartness.
(Now you know why Diggy Raja feels chuffed all the time)

© Sunil Rajguru