Category Archives: Indian Politics

The Congress and #Demonetization

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Think it over…
In 1954 Nehru introduced the super high Rs 10,000 note for a poor India.
That would have helped the corrupt rich or ordinary citizens?

There have been three demonetizations.
1946.
1978.
2016.
What is common to all three?
Congress was not in charge.
That itself tells the story.

1954—Congress Finance Minister introduces whopping Rs 10,000 note.
2016—After tonnes of inflation, ex-Congress Finance Minister puzzled at Rs 2,000 note.
#Chidu

Sonia presides over a 100 scams.
Everyone’s happy with her.
Modi does a 100 good things.
24X7 attacks and analysis of how he’ll lose 2019 for actually doing good!

Pappu’s shoot and scoot politics explained with lyrics of Oye Oye’s Tridev (1989)…
Gali gali main firta hai tu kyun banke banjara…

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

So #Demonetization has hit them really really hard

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Mr India, 2016.
Mogambo enters India, vows destruction.
#Demonetization happens.
Mogambo’s black money wiped out, flees India.
The End.

TV news.
20% coverage = All the benefits, pitfalls and long-term implications of #Demonetization.
80% coverage = Long queues.

Modi will lose 2002.
Modi will lose 2007.
Modi will lose 2014.
Modi will lose 2019 due to #Demonetization.
Yawn!

Beware!
Modi doesn’t believe in ATM but ATDM.
ATDM = Any Time De-Monetization!

#BewafaSonamGupta nahin, par woh black note tha jispe us ka naam likha tha.
#BewafaSonamGupta ek thi, par bewafa black note lakhon main hai.

Baad main na kahana kucch bhi,
Pahale hi de doon warning,
Party chalegi till all the corrupt are in mourning,
Abhi to party shuru hui hai!
#KalaDhan

If America did #Demonetization of the $100 bill, forget America, the whole world would descend into chaos.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

The pains of #Demonetization

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India hasn’t been Modified yet.
We’re not even halfway there.

ATMs.
Yesterday.
Open… 24 hours.
Today.
Open… Till stocks last!

If today you have a lot of change in the form of Rs 100 notes, then you are a Chhuttapati.

Government should have opened online liquor home delivery stores along with #Demonetisation.
Would have done roaring business.

Hit hard…
Lower/middle class with white money—Short run.
Rich class with black money—Long run.
Managing…
Those with cards/net banking/PayTM.

#Demonetisation for the…
Corrupt—Devastating.
Common man—Long queues.
Bank employees—Long hours.
Online companies—Growth!
Opposition—Ammo to attack.

Yesterday…
Beggar to common man—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!
Today…
Common man to bank—Bhagwaan ke naam pe chutte de de re baba!

We need an odd even scheme in banks.
On odd days you can deposit.
On even days you can withdraw.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

General random political musings…

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2014…
Pradhan Mantri Jan Dhan Yojana.
2016…
Pradhan Mantri Kala Dhan Yojana.

Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
#Dharmendra1988 #Modi2016

#AdarshLiberal
If India is bad, you will support Pakistan?
If Capitalism is bad, you will support Communism?
If Indian Army is bad, you will support terrorists?

#Pappu
2000s: Angry young man.
2010s: Angry middle-aged man.
2020s: Angry old man.
2030s: Angry retired man.

#Dharmendra1988
Paap Ko Jalaa Kar Raakh Kar Doonga.
Kejri: Replace paap with New Delhi.
Lalu: Bihar for me.
Didi: 2 changes, West Bengal and last letter i.

Bihar’s MahaGatbandhan cannot be replicated in Uttar Pradesh.
It will become MahaGadbad.

Eat in a Dalit’s hut.
Take a few months off.
Travel in a Mumbai local.
Take a few months off.
Stand in an ATM queue.
Take a few months off.
#PappuPolitics

The glorious 2010s…
___got re-elected and destroyed___
1. Laloo-Bihar.
2. Mulayam-UP.
3. Kejri-Delhi.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me a million times since 1947 and you’re the Indian Left and I’m an ordinary citizen.

In cricketing parlance, Modi is a captain who has won the World Cup while Pappu is still on the benches of a Ranji team.
Media will equalize them in 2019.

All Congress spokespersons get up every morning with the same thought.
How do I rubbish Modi’s achievements today?

Past tense…
Modi has won many times.
Present tense…
Modi is winning everything.
Future tense…
Modi will lose each and every time.
#Haters

These versions by Sunil Rajguru

Never in the history of Indian politics…

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Never in the history of India has a person with so many talents and achievements been attacked so much.
#Modi

Never in the history of India has a person with so little talent and achievements been admired so much.
#Sonia

Never in the history of India has a person with so much crime, misgovernance and incompetence been adored so much.
#Lalu

Never in the history of India has a person got these many opportunities and this much coverage and exposure and flopped such.
#Pappu

Never in the history of India has a person with this much education and support proved to be such a selfish incompetent duffer in the world of politics.
#Kejri

© Sunil Rajguru

More #Demonitisation musings…

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So India ends its Unofficial Counterfeit Money Union with Pakistan.
Only the Unofficial Free Border Union with Bangladesh is left.

Nehru created a mess.
Shastri cleaned it.
Indira-Rajiv created a mess.
Rao-Vajpayee cleaned it.
Sonia created a mess.
Modi cleaning it bigly.

Pahale Rs 500 aur Rs 1000 note ke gadde ki chori ka dar tha.
Ab chutte chori hone ka dar hai.

These versions by Sunil Rajguru